RE: Can a therapist even help with the issues I have with this relationship?

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RE: Can a therapist even help with the issues I have wi... - 8/25/2008 5:01:00 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
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Did you read where I said I didn't want to go, to fix him, or in hopes he'll change, that I want to go so I have a safe place to explore the issues I have with his issues and how they affect me and us and our relationship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: curvyslavegirl

Therapy isn't designed for you to "fix" someone else.
You can work on the relationship dynamics or your individual issues but can not control another person through therapy.

If the issue is communication oriented or interaction oriented then go for it. If you're just hoping he'll change because of it, you're going to end up deeply disappointed.

(in reply to curvyslavegirl)

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RE: Can a therapist even help with the issues I have wi... - 8/25/2008 5:02:30 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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Does he know how unhappy you are? Does he care? If he says he cares does he take action to prove he cares about your well being, stress level etc? I had a husband much like you guy. Actions or inaction speaks louder than words.

Frankly, you can go to therapy to feel better. But when the therapy ends and it usually doesnt go on forever what then?

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

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RE: Can a therapist even help with the issues I have wi... - 8/25/2008 5:09:36 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
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Yes. He is absolutely aware of how unhappy I am. We've had countless talks about the issues and each time it's I'm sorry and I'll try to do better , and it's my depression, my depression makes me this way* which he refuses to get help for and can't afford medication for* and then nothing. The same things we just talked abuot maybe less than a month ago sometimes less than a week ago are still going on. Even after all our heart to hearts, I do believe he wants to do better, really I do, but then there's just some disconnect and he doesn't try to do better.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Does he know how unhappy you are? Does he care? If he says he cares does he take action to prove he cares about your well being, stress level etc? I had a husband much like you guy. Actions or inaction speaks louder than words.

Frankly, you can go to therapy to feel better. But when the therapy ends and it usually doesnt go on forever what then?

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

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Post #: 23

RE: Can a therapist even help with the issues I have wi... - 8/25/2008 5:23:02 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

Yes. He is absolutely aware of how unhappy I am. We've had countless talks about the issues and each time it's I'm sorry and I'll try to do better , and it's my depression, my depression makes me this way* which he refuses to get help for and can't afford medication for* and then nothing. The same things we just talked abuot maybe less than a month ago sometimes less than a week ago are still going on. Even after all our heart to hearts, I do believe he wants to do better, really I do, but then there's just some disconnect and he doesn't try to do better.
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Does he know how unhappy you are? Does he care? If he says he cares does he take action to prove he cares about your well being, stress level etc? I had a husband much like you guy. Actions or inaction speaks louder than words.

Frankly, you can go to therapy to feel better. But when the therapy ends and it usually doesnt go on forever what then?

I feel bad for you. He sounds like my ex. We live in the same building in seperate apartments. I can say he has not changed. not even for himself, not even after I left him. he is actually in many ways worse. His hygiene is worse. Although he has more of a social life revolving around going to the bar. He is malleable in many ways in that I can do what I want. Taking turns with our social life. We dont give each other problems and support each other in our seperate lives. We do this for my son. You dont have a child to worry about. My ex said he could change but then he just didnt. Really he is content the way he is. He hasnt filed taxes in 2 years because I stopped doing it for him. Evry change in his life was because I did it for him. I use to even do his paperwork and forge his signature.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

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Post #: 24