SirButchTX -> Mentors, What are they, and how do they help? (11/25/2005 5:23:02 AM)
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I'm not asking this question for knowledge as much as I'm asking it to see if anyone even cares. Early on, my submissive and myself sought the help and guidance of a local "Dom" whom we had befriended. It didn't take long to figure out that this guy was a "book" dom and he hadn't gotten past Jay Weismans SM 101. That relationship failed but not because of the decision to seek a mentor. After a couple of years floundering around in the lifestyle and failing miserably in a couple of attempts at D/s relationships, I decided I needed some guidance and I sought out someone I could trust to help guide me. I first set out my goals, needs, and desires. Where was I going, what did I need to get there, and what did I want to accomplish when I got there. Having this information in hand, I started looking in earnest for someone I admired and trusted, someone who had something I wanted. I searched for several months at our public parties and muches. I narrowed my search down to a scant three or four people. I gave myself two more months before I narrowed the field down to one. A man of impeccable charachter, manners, and a firm grasp of who and what he was without the flamboyant "I'm a master, hear me roar" mentality. I still study under my Mentor when time allows and have been doing so for almost three years now. What does a Mentor teach? My Mentor taught me to find myself. He constantly gave me assignments that made me search my innermost being for answers. He asked the tough questions like "what do you want out of this?" My Mentor helped me define myself within this lifestyle. He taught me that if we do not know ourselves, we can never expect to know another. He taught me that a Dominant without a submissive who is submitting to them is just another person on the planet. So who among us has taken that very frightening step into their own psyche, asked for guidance and survived it intact to find a place in the lifestyle where they can confidently say"I belong here"? SirButchTX
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