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BDSM and lust/attraction - 11/25/2005 6:13:10 PM

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As far back as I can remember, I've manifested lust/attraction for a man in the form of a desire to see him in bondage. I know most women see an attractive man and maybe imagine what it would be like to kiss him, or imagine him naked. Instantly, my thoughts go to how he would look in bondage. How would he react? Would he struggle? Would he be stoic, or would he be resistant? Would he enjoy it, or would he be afraid? Would he say no, and not let me even consider it? Would I have to seduce him to get him into restraints?

Do your thoughts have a kinky edge to them at all times, or are your moment of physical attraction ever completely normal?

I am more likely to "imagine/fantasize" what it is like to gag a man than to kiss him.

Of course, the best combination is to forcibly kiss him, THEN gag him.

Akasha

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RE: BDSM and lust/attraction - 11/25/2005 6:17:41 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Do your thoughts have a kinky edge to them at all times, or are your moment of physical attraction ever completely normal?

My feelings of physical attraction are always completely normal. The first thing that pops into my head is to wonder how that woman would look kneeling....

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(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: BDSM and lust/attraction - 11/25/2005 6:24:16 PM

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AA, just like anything else it would depend on the person. Some people would love to be tied up, some would say you are crazy. Personally if someone I was with asked to tie me up they are barking up the wrong tree. And Im more with can though personaly I kinda like to think what a nice collar would look like on her neck....though kneeling is good too

(in reply to CanisMajor)

RE: BDSM and lust/attraction - 11/25/2005 6:32:46 PM

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To be tied up? All I can say is YUM!

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RE: BDSM and lust/attraction - 11/25/2005 8:16:46 PM

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Being a dominant sadist is my primary sexual orientation.

If I'm sexual attracted so someone I think of them kneeling at my feet and of hearing them say "Mistress" (by the way please don't anyone call that, what I desire and what I allow are two different things).

Its just how I process the world.

With women it is different. If I see a woman in a submissive position that pushes my buttons then I can see her as sexual attractive. But the range is very narrow for what I consider acceptable submissive positions for women in terms of their attractiveness to me (not in terms of some weird universal acceptable).

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RE: BDSM and lust/attraction - 11/25/2005 10:51:11 PM

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Nope, my thoughts do not always have a specifically kink edge to them.

Some of my most intimate feelings of connectedness and love have come from simply watching television, driving in the ar or waking up with eachother.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: BDSM and lust/attraction - 11/26/2005 12:18:01 AM

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everyone i meet is judged within seconds on the 'am i attracted to them'.
That is predominantly physically.
If i am, then the gut reaction/chemistry triggers thought of what might be nice to do with them, THAT thought process always involves a power exchange fantasy. With me playing either top or bottom role depending on the gut reaction to them.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: BDSM and lust/attraction - 11/26/2005 3:43:00 AM

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Attraction for me is a bit different. Some Men i know i will never feel attracted to; based solely on their pics...shallow, but what's the point of going on? Others i am open to, but real attraction depends on how He smells; His values; His conduct; etc. It grows over time as we have the chance to meet in real life. i get to observe Him and from this opportunity comes Respect and then Trust. i feel attracted to my Men friends, but they are already involved, so a light flirtation may be permissible but somewhere the boundaries must be set.

candystripper

(in reply to pandoravampire)

RE: BDSM and lust/attraction - 11/26/2005 3:47:11 AM

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quote:

Some Men i know i will never feel attracted to; based solely on their pics...shallow

It's not shallow. I don't know why people think that. Physical attraction is key. People can disagree all they want and exclaim "You are shallow!" "Looks aren't everything." Looks are important.

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RE: BDSM and lust/attraction - 11/26/2005 4:46:25 AM

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I'm with Pandora on this one.
Within seconds of a first meet I've Judged by the cover if I intend
to open the book. After that it takes a few chapters to mesh the chemistry.
After that the Visuals start............

Q

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(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: BDSM and lust/attraction - 11/26/2005 4:54:02 AM

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I agree with this also. I initially look at physical attractiveness and if they meet that requirement of what I like then I see what spews forth from their brain. To me they go hand in hand. He can be the most gorgeous guy out there, but if he can't have a coherent thought then his attractivenss falls dramatically in my book.

(in reply to Quivver)

RE: BDSM and lust/attraction - 11/26/2005 4:59:44 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68
He can be the most gorgeous guy out there, but if he can't have a coherent thought then his attractivenss falls dramatically in my book.

Agreed!! I neglected to add that beauty is not the be all end all! Well Put Aileen!

Q

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RE: BDSM and lust/attraction - 11/26/2005 6:48:07 AM

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It varies for me. Some women I immediately want to see tied up with tears running down their cheeks ... others I don't, and just attract me in a more vanilla sense. I am not so arrogant as to believe that I have a magic 'sub-sense' and my imagery bears any relationship to their actual predilections, though. Pity!

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RE: BDSM and lust/attraction - 11/26/2005 7:18:50 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Do your thoughts have a kinky edge to them at all times, or are your moment of physical attraction ever completely normal?

I think "all" my thoughts are "normal."

I never much thought about it, but once, when leaving a restaurant, with my Dad, he noticed me looking at the roofers working there. He joked, "Take your eyes off his ass, and get your mind off of what you want to do to him." (Obviously I'm "out" to Dad.

)

I didn't really realize that I was having those thoughts...but I do, and I did.

I think it's all normal. Some of my passing thoughts are somewhat kink related and some are not. Some are hot, and some are not. Some are conscious...and apparently some are not.

K

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: BDSM and lust/attraction - 11/26/2005 7:30:35 AM

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I'd have to say that usually (okay most of the time) within a few minutes of meeting someone I have categorized them in my mind. Submissive, dominant, attractive, so-so, or no way on the Goddess's blue planet.
How they present themselves is key to whether or not I find them attractive, looks come second. I notice posture, body language, attitude, eyes then overall body. This takes about 3 or 4 minutes.
With me, if I'm sexually attracted to them, then my thoughts tend to turn toward the edgy part. What would he look like spread eagled against my wall? How would she look on her knees begging? If there's no attraction then I put them in the "just going to be friends" category.

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RE: BDSM and lust/attraction - 11/26/2005 8:03:59 AM

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ive never been attracted to someones physical body, everyone has two eyes, two ears a nose and some arms and legs to me..so id say my daily thoughts dont have a kinky edge.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: BDSM and lust/attraction - 11/26/2005 12:53:46 PM

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Basically, provided you are vaguely humanoid and don’t drag your knuckles on the ground I’ll take a second look. If you can put more than three words together to make an intelligible sentence then I’ll sit up and take notice as long as you don’t smell like a garbage truck. After that it depends of you, the sort of person you are. Do I feel comfortable in your company? Have you got that illusive something which makes us click.. After that we can get onto specifics.. However you may able to sexually turn me on and I’ll not give you a second look.. Sex isn’t that important for me.

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RE: BDSM and lust/attraction - 11/26/2005 1:11:38 PM

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quote:

Basically, provided you are vaguely humanoid and don’t drag your knuckles on the ground I’ll take a second look. If you can put more than three words together to make an intelligible sentence then I’ll sit up and take notice as long as you don’t smell like a garbage truck. After that it depends of you, the sort of person you are. Do I feel comfortable in your company? Have you got that illusive something which makes us click.. After that we can get onto specifics.. However you may able to sexually turn me on and I’ll not give you a second look.. Sex isn’t that important for me.

IronBear

So true. i could be at Yahell Personals, meeting all sorts of men (mostly knuckle-draggers, LOL) and have sex whenever i wanted it...if i didn't have other things that matter as much or more.

BTW, IronBear, You don't happen to have a polar bear costume, do You? LOL.

candystripper

(in reply to IronBear)

RE: BDSM and lust/attraction - 11/26/2005 2:36:51 PM

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I don't think my sense of attraction to someone has much of a kinky edge to it. If I'm attracted to a woman, the last thing that comes into my mind is dropping to my knees in submission or doing some other kind of submissive act. And if a woman catches my eye, I don't tend to get on the track of imagining her wielding a whip, or strutting around in boots, or whatever. OTOH, a well-worn fetishy accesory or two (like a collar, or a pair of gloves or stiletto heels) -- on the right person -- can definitely amp things up, and inspire all sorts of intriguing questions....

Having said that, I can totally fall head over heels in love at first sight with someone who hasn't the slightest bit of Domme-liness about her, and be completely turned off by a woman with all the apparent outward power & authority in the world. Hillary Clinton & Martha Stewart do nothing for me, sexually.

Go figure.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: BDSM and lust/attraction - 11/26/2005 2:41:13 PM

cinn

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To the OP, Interesting question.
To get straight to the point, I'll admit that when I see a girl who is good looking enough to get to the "thinking about.." stage, then yes my thoughts are often kinky, or kinky-tinged. Depends on how you define 'looking at the person' though; what I mean is that I might see 5, 20 or perhaps even 50 good looking girls and women during, say, a night out at a club. But, because I don't even know them and have 'no chance' of anything with them (partly because I'm not trying to pull random girls at clubs, but I digress) it just goes as far as the "Now SHE is HOT!" stage. When the kinky-thoughts start to happen is, I soppose, when I start to develop an interest in someone or when it's someone that I'm going to see or do see regularly. - ie when the looking moves up a level.
As another example, there is a girl here in uni accomodation who I am quite interested in, and when I first met her and talked a bit then yes, there was definately kinky thoughts going on there.
Something to the tune of "I wonder what it looks like when she's standing over me [bound] with a whip...". Yet, at the same time there's times when I'm thinking in vanilla mode when I'm talking with her or whatever.

Edit: And to complement pollux' point, yes, addition of a certain cut of top, or knee high boots and so on tends grease things up and push them down the already slippery slope to depravity

PS: Hi guys :D

< Message edited by cinn -- 11/26/2005 2:52:44 PM >

(in reply to candystripper)

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