Motivations for BDSM

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TallDarkAndWitty -> Motivations for BDSM (9/1/2008 7:35:47 AM)
So I have been working on a quiz for OKCupid called "The BDSM Bottom Quiz", in which I attempt to ascertain a submissive/masochist/bottom/slave's "type" by having them rank BDSM activities, like a checklist. In thinking this test through, I came up with 4 basic motivations/desires for BDSM bottoms: service, pain, ownership, and force. Service is the desire to please a dominant personality. It is an internally driven motivation to make someone's life better through work and dedication. Pain, or perhaps sensation, is an externally driven motivation. Ownership is the desire to feel owned, possessed, captured. It is an internal motivation. Force is the desire to be controlled, physically dominated, and helpless. This is an external motivation. Most s-types enjoy some of each, but I have found that very few desire, in any great extent, all four. Along with the motivations, I have been toying with "Roles" for the various combinations of desires (and lack thereof), much like the Myers-Briggs Type Index. +Service, +Pain, +Ownership, +Force: The Field Slave +Service, +Pain, +Ownership, -Force: The House Slave +Service, +Pain, -Ownership, +Force: The Indentured Servant +Service, +Pain, -Ownership, -Force: The Eager Masochist +Service, -Pain, +Ownership, +Force: The Lazy Slave +Service, -Pain, +Ownership, -Force: The Valet/The Handmaiden +Service, -Pain, -Ownership, +Force: The Misbehaving Servant +Service, -Pain, -Ownership, -Force: The Butler/The Maid -Service, +Pain, +Ownership, +Force: The Fuck Toy -Service, +Pain, +Ownership, -Force: The Rag Doll -Service, +Pain, -Ownership, +Force: The Bottom -Service, +Pain, -Ownership, -Force: The Punching Bag -Service, -Pain, +Ownership, +Force: The Wild Animal -Service, -Pain, +Ownership, -Force: The Pet -Service, -Pain, -Ownership, +Force: The Rape Victim -Service, -Pain, -Ownership, -Force: The Scoop of Vanilla This is a work in progress, but I am really liking where it is going. Thoughts? Volunteers to take the test and provide feedback? Taggard

windchymes -> RE: Motivations for BDSM (9/1/2008 7:39:15 AM)
Yeesh. No offense, but "types" in here have been micro-labelled to death [;)]

KnightofMists -> RE: Motivations for BDSM (9/1/2008 7:39:34 AM)
and what about the bottom that enjoys being played but doesn't like pain?

colouredin -> RE: Motivations for BDSM (9/1/2008 7:41:55 AM)
personally i find the words you use for the labels amazingly offensive, also try as you might you cant fit everyone into a little checked box sorry

KnightofMists -> RE: Motivations for BDSM (9/1/2008 7:44:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty Service is the desire to please a dominant personality. It is an internally driven motivation to make someone's life better through work and dedication. Pain, or perhaps sensation, is an externally driven motivation. Ownership is the desire to feel owned, possessed, captured. It is an internal motivation. Force is the desire to be controlled, physically dominated, and helpless. This is an external motivation. I am trying to understand why you think the following Service is an Internal driven Motivation Pain is an External driven Motivation Ownership is an Internal driven Motivation Force is an External driven Motivation. Personally... I think what motivates a person to have pain, service, ownership or force would be very dependent on the individual... it can be internal or external or maybe even a little of both.

RCdc -> RE: Motivations for BDSM (9/1/2008 7:46:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists and what about the bottom that enjoys being played but doesn't like pain? I was thinking the same. Also I disagree about the service motivation/desire. Sometimes it has nothing to do with the dominant being pleased, sometimes dominants aren't involved at all. Service has nothing to do with orientation. This would negate most of the rest. quote: -Service, -Pain, -Ownership, -Force: The Scoop of Vanilla I am also confused why this? You may as well add that this is not for submissives or slaves, when submission does not have to have any of those to be submission. the.dark. the.dark.

catize -> RE: Motivations for BDSM (9/1/2008 7:46:06 AM)
I'm labeling myself the lazy slave and just can't be bothered to put much effort into a reply.

DesFIP -> RE: Motivations for BDSM (9/1/2008 7:46:20 AM)
You missed an important motivation; emotional transparency. And I don't fit into any of your stereotypes.

shivermetimbers -> RE: Motivations for BDSM (9/1/2008 7:46:51 AM)
I don't wrap myself around a label, but I think something like this could be fun, similar to the personality tests and such. I find the labels themselves kind of amusing actually, so if you want a volunteer, in the sake of just silly fun, I'd do it.

Aileen1968 -> RE: Motivations for BDSM (9/1/2008 7:47:18 AM)
Lazy???? Ummm. Good luck with that. Just the fact that you feel the need to come up with all of these ridiculous labels says a lot about you.

Prinsexx -> RE: Motivations for BDSM (9/1/2008 7:58:15 AM)
I'll take the test...love taking tests and being tested. I already think i know what i am... but am somewhat of a surburban slut so wondering what a field has got to do with it...[:D]

KnightofMists -> RE: Motivations for BDSM (9/1/2008 7:59:26 AM)
after reading a few of the responses... I can't say that I am surprized by what you are getting. I suspect most will be a bit turned off by your efforts to catergorize and group bottoms. I find this actually amusing since ... as much as people want to say and like to say they don't group and label people they actually do. Ie... Friend - Stranger... Attractive... Unacttractive.... Family... friend... nice guy... creep. We label and group people all the time and often we do it in very subtle ways that we don't even realize that it is occuring for us. Sometimes we do it without even interacting with the person that we label and group. Now... just because we label and group people doesn't mean we do a good job of it. I appreciate that you like where your project is going... personally.. I don't. I think you have some assumptions at it's core that is going to make your end result not very applicable for others to use. However, That speaks to having a system that can be applicable for others to use. Now if you are developing a system for "Your" view in the world and maybe looking to use it to find the partners are wanting.. .it just might be useful. As I said... we often don't do a good job of grouping and labeling people and as such.... we sometimes have difficult finding capatiable partners for our selves. I personally would be looking to do what your doing for that type of result... but if it works for you.. then well rock on with yourself. Just don't expect this system to be applicable and/or useful for anyone but you.,

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Motivations for BDSM (9/1/2008 8:07:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists and what about the bottom that enjoys being played but doesn't like pain? I would call that person...looking at my list...The Rape Victim. It seems many people in here are not familiar with Myers-Briggs or personality tests... Wikipedia is a great resource for the curious and OKCupid is a great source of personality test!. This should be a fun way to waste my morning...

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Motivations for BDSM (9/1/2008 8:11:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists I am trying to understand why you think the following Service is an Internal driven Motivation Pain is an External driven Motivation Ownership is an Internal driven Motivation Force is an External driven Motivation. I think my wording may be imprecise. What I mean is that, for example, Pain is an externally satisfied desire, while Service is an internally satisfied desire. Much like "self-improvement" is an internal motivation for jogging, while "winning a 5k" is an external motivation. It has to do, in my mind, with where the motivational energy is sought, internally or externally. Thank you for pointing out the lack of clarity! Taggard

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Motivations for BDSM (9/1/2008 8:18:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark Sometimes it has nothing to do with the dominant being pleased, sometimes dominants aren't involved at all. The definitions of the examples are still a bit wet. I can certainly see your point and would have no issue removing the word "dominant" from that definition. quote: Service has nothing to do with orientation. This would negate most of the rest. I am not following your logic. While I agree service has nothing to do with orientation, I do not agree that orientation always has nothing to do with service. I have met s-types who simple submit through their service. It is what defines their submission. In other words, I am not looking at service oriented people to see what kind of s-type they are. I am looking at s-types to see if they are service oriented. quote: quote: -Service, -Pain, -Ownership, -Force: The Scoop of Vanilla I am also confused why this? You may as well add that this is not for submissives or slaves, when submission does not have to have any of those to be submission. This is exactly why I started this thread! Could you name a type of submission that does not come from one of these four motivations? Taggard

KnightofMists -> RE: Motivations for BDSM (9/1/2008 8:18:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists and what about the bottom that enjoys being played but doesn't like pain? I would call that person...looking at my list...The Rape Victim. It seems many people in here are not familiar with Myers-Briggs or personality tests... is a great resource for the curious. This should be a fun way to waste my morning... and why would you choose that one? It seems your making an assumption that the person will be used for SM play then and as such... you are puting them into a preconceived sitaution and placing the person there and labeling them on how they would react in that situation. Hardly the approach of a Myers-Briggs personality test. I think you are making leaps here... since... by putting them in that group you are saying they want to be forced to endure pain... but they don't want to be controlled, dominanted or helpless... they just want to enjoy some wax play or fire play or a nice flogging that gives them a massaging sensation... maybe some cupping... or a variety of things that give them sensations but no pain. Even knife play is incredible for some.. as far as a sensation and doesn't even hit any fears for them. As I said.. I am not likely how this is going.... Also.. I happen to be very familiar with Myers-Briggs... alot more than most. As I said... I am not liking the way it's looking

faerytattoodgirl -> RE: Motivations for BDSM (9/1/2008 8:18:51 AM)
Service---yes... Pain---no pain = no service Ownership---hell no i am not an object i am a person. Force---hell no...not forcing me to do anything i wont agree with. Me---PRICELESS

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Motivations for BDSM (9/1/2008 8:25:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP You missed an important motivation; emotional transparency. Hmm...interesting...you submit to reveal yourself? I think that lacks the basic requirement for this index, in that it is not BDSM based. This is not a relationship personality index, but a BDSM personality index. Things like love, lust, emotional transparency do not change your BDSM personality. If you are a person who likes to be emotionally transparent in your BDSM relationships, I believe you would be emotionally transpaent in your relationships, even if you were not into BDSM. quote: And I don't fit into any of your stereotypes. No one does. It is a personality index. Lots of people are mixes of things, but when I was coming up with the types, I could put a face on many of labels. After I finish the questions for the test, I will be coming up with fully fleshed out profiles for each of the types. Thanks for your thoughts! Taggard

KnightofMists -> RE: Motivations for BDSM (9/1/2008 8:26:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty I think my wording may be imprecise. What I mean is that, for example, Pain is an externally satisfied desire, while Service is an internally satisfied desire. Much like "self-improvement" is an internal motivation for jogging, while "winning a 5k" is an external motivation. It has to do, in my mind, with where the motivational energy is sought, internally or externally. Thank you for pointing out the lack of clarity! Taggard Again... I think both service and pain interactions will satisfy Internal satisfied desires... however.. where I do see a difference... is after the fact. With Pain... the satisfaction or results can be observed externally much more readily than you can with a person than is a service orientation. It seems your view point is from the observer.. and not actually from the person you put in the group.

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Motivations for BDSM (9/1/2008 8:29:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl Service---yes... Pain---no pain = no service Have you ever volunteered to be the whipping post for a BDSM workshop? Taggard

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