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Dominant and Master Profiles - 11/27/2005 10:21:18 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
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i rarely initiate contact with Men, but this morning i went through my Admirer's List and sent a few emails. i realised so many Men make similar mistakes i thought i post a few pointers.

First: if You select a dark background You must select a very light font -- preferably white -- or the contrast between type and background is so poor, Your profile is unreadable to me...and probably others.

Second: For God's sake write a profile. If You are really stumped, ask a submissive or slave friend to help You. A good profile describes the Man's values; what sort of relationship He seeks; amd what sort of woman He seeks. This is not brain surgery.

Third: post a picture of Your face...or at least offer to send one. The vast majority of Men seem to fail to post a picture; They cannot all be afraid of being outted. And egads; do not say You seek a refined woman and then post a picture of Your genitals or even Your body.

From what i have seen, women generally have pictures, whether they are Dommes or subbies or slaves. Why invite the loss of time and energy involved if the woman ultimately gets to see You and is not attracted? And where is the Domly confidence that You are attractive to women?

Fourth: For Gawd's sake proofread Your profile or have someone else do it. One mistake is just a distraction -- several call into question any claim You have to being educated or having a professional position. i overlook mistakes in posts and email because such things may sometimes be dashed off; but a profile should not be...it should accurately reflect You and what You want.

i am happy to help; if You think it necessary, feel free to email me on the other side. i bet most women (and some Men) here would be willing to help as well; choose someone whose posts are generally written in proper English and ask her/him.

The bottom line is although it is the Dom or Master who generally initiates contact, the subby or slave will probably read Your profile before responding. If it says nothing at all; or just says "slave wanted" You might lose out.

candystripper


< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/27/2005 10:23:02 AM >
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RE: Dominant and Master Profiles - 11/27/2005 10:38:13 AM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline
you go, girl! The lack of information on men's profiles... and not just here in BDSM world, either... is a constant thorn in my side. What, they're men and we don't need to know anything more? Good grief. There may be more to it here, though. I've run into the "Me Master you slave" mindset where they seem to honestly feel that since they are the Dominant, no slave has a need to know more. So maybe it's that. Interestingly, though, I've also run into this mindset from submissive men approaching me. They refuse to express their own interests, feelings, likes and dislikes (even when specifically asked), saying they'll be happy with whatever I want to do with them. I feel massively frustrated, and very sympatico with Eddie Murphy's character in "Coming to America." Maybe when I get that kind of response, I should ask them to bark like a dog, scratch like a monkey and hop on one leg? LOL.

Oops, did that turn into a rant???

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Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

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RE: Dominant and Master Profiles - 11/27/2005 10:39:58 AM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
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What candy says is all too true, and i suspect the same is true of the profiles on the other side of the coin.

i do have one additional point to add, and that's please if you write me, write in English. i don't speak any other languages, and no matter how eloquent Your letter may be, I'm just not going to reply.

Regards y'all..

jimini

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin



When your heart speaks take good notes.





(in reply to candystripper)
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RE: Dominant and Master Profiles - 11/27/2005 10:47:40 AM   
candystripper


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i realise we have people of all stripes who have a hit and run attitude towards their profiles; because they are here at all, the requisite desire will be snuffed out and fulfilled. Mabye it even works sometimes. However, a Man who is genuinely seeking is adding months or years to His search IMO if His profile is unreadable, absent or two words "slave wanted".

i genuinely think there are good Men out there who do not realise this. But perhaps that's being condescending; i don't mean it that way.

candystripper

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RE: Dominant and Master Profiles - 11/27/2005 10:49:39 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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Yes, it is true for both sides, women give vague in meaning and flowery speech in their profiles for the most part, or do the 'i want the one true one, not a doormat, get a clue' and think that that is communication. Men do the stoic, or the listen here you fucking cunts thing and think they are communicating.

It is a mess, no doubt.

I wish I knew what the answer is, because ultimately; we all want the same thing, to be loved, respected, valued and percieved as worth. We just start the drive from different ends, is all.

How do we get there. I do not know.


The holidays make me maudlin, so don't take this to heart,
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: Dominant and Master Profiles - 11/27/2005 10:50:13 AM   
jamesthehumanrug


Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline
greetings, candy stripper,
frankly: i don't see your face pic ,and, i get very distracted every time, by your posted pic any way....
mens' wardrobe ,if you notice; all their life is: black; ;blue;brown ;gray ,or bage'; every variation, of a grocery bag ;the only color is white ,
or a tie(and that usually matches)
did you ever see a guy, in full-color? pink?, or anything ,if ,not, into showbiz?!
and ,men don't have variations ,on color either;
red is red ,not inbetween,or ,not magenta ,or pinkish, so :
dont expect any shades,to show ,in their posts
a dark yellow background ,with brown, in it: is all you get ,
in fact: it's genetic.
men are the, only ones, to actually have "color-blindness"(dogs ,too), so it's ,innnate ,unless trained, in graphic design i suppose....
further more: it's an unfortunate fact ,only 3% ,of the woman, in this world look, at looks ,or ,at least it's ,not a determining factor ,as it is, when men look, at ,or choose woman(,for ANYTHING!).
WOMAN will settle, for nice eyes, at best, and ,don't men know it;
being male means
(altho, not, to me....)
fat ,and ,ugly,by definition.
ever see a guy care ,about striving all his life ,to be a liteweight? ,or ,to
do his eyes, up more ,or make his lips, or azzz more appealing?,
so forget it .you got a lost population there,
but, i agree ,with you .you have ,to admit :
it's a shot, in the dark ,that's all.
maybe, thats why you prefer women? no figuring there
almost a different sovereign species ,on the same ,inhabited planet.
now that we can clone ....where's the need exsist?,
that's, when you come, to realyze
a token is
a beautiful thing.
got one?

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 11/27/2005 10:56:21 AM >


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jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to candystripper)
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RE: Dominant and Master Profiles - 11/27/2005 11:14:51 AM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline
This is good basic advise for anyone writing any type of profile or introductory message for any site.

I also suggest use of proper capitalization as opposed to using lowercase and uppercase to denote a lifestyle orientation. While this may be a kink fad, the use of lowercase and uppercase designations makes for difficult reading and often conveys someone who lives their kink life mostly online.

Many other things help make a profile easier to read and comprehend. Constant overuse…..and prolific use…of those dots dots dots to replace common punctuation ….very annoying. While these are often used in IM’s…and general posts….sprinkling them too liberally in a profile…instead of using periods, commas, colons, semi-colons etc…or starting a new paragraph…..well, you get the point?

One other note of importance: be aware of commonly misspelled words and typos in your own profiles. ALWAYS use spellcheck before posting a profile! These are misspellings I just now found in one profile:
Realise = realize
Demondstrate = demonstrate
Amoung = among
accomodated = Accommodated
baords = boards
ignornance = ignorance




_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)
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RE: Dominant and Master Profiles - 11/27/2005 11:26:52 AM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline
Hmmmmm.... I wonder what's wrong with my profile?

I've used a background color with a properly contrasting background, it is certainly more than "Me Dominant, you slave", I have a picture posted, I think I caught most of the spelling and/or grammatical errors.

So how come I'm not being over run with e-mails and PM's from submissives and slaves who appreciate proper form and function in a profile?

*grins and shrugs*

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to Elegant)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Dominant and Master Profiles - 11/27/2005 11:27:57 AM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline
Heheheh.... got it ;)

You'd think people would "get" that others have to be able to READ, and understand, what they are writing, without maximum necessity for straining the brain to interpret and translate the garbage into English. Spelling and grammar errors here and there are no big deal, but you'd think that someone trying to make a good impression (which I'm assuming most here are, whether Dom or sub), would realize that HOW they write, gives an impression of who they are to those who are reading what they've written. If you want people to have a good impression of you, for God's sake, at least make some MINIMAL attempt to make your writing readable!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

(I don't mean YOU, Elegant... I was using "you" in the collective sense, of course!)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant
Many other things help make a profile easier to read and comprehend. Constant overuse…..and prolific use…of those dots dots dots to replace common punctuation ….very annoying. While these are often used in IM’s…and general posts….sprinkling them too liberally in a profile…instead of using periods, commas, colons, semi-colons etc…or starting a new paragraph…..well, you get the point?


< Message edited by LadyMorgynn -- 11/27/2005 11:29:14 AM >


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Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

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RE: Dominant and Master Profiles - 11/27/2005 11:31:13 AM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline
very well-done profile, in fact, Geoff. I can't imagine why you're not being overrun with emails and PMs! :)


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Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to EvilGeoff)
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RE: Dominant and Master Profiles - 11/27/2005 11:33:38 AM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff

Hmmmmm.... I wonder what's wrong with my profile?

I've used a background color with a properly contrasting background, it is certainly more than "Me Dominant, you slave", I have a picture posted, I think I caught most of the spelling and/or grammatical errors.

So how come I'm not being over run with e-mails and PM's from submissives and slaves who appreciate proper form and function in a profile?

*grins and shrugs*

YIK,
- Geoff


You have a very sexy profile. *grin* When can we talk function?

If you will come down here I'll let YOU run over me!


< Message edited by Elegant -- 11/27/2005 11:34:16 AM >


_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to EvilGeoff)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Dominant and Master Profiles - 11/27/2005 11:42:34 AM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline

quote:

Realise = realize


Maybe they are australian, we spell realise like that *grin*

Seems a lot of people use this site to meet other people, ive looked at a few profiles, heaps of them have what the person is looking for and not what they can offer a potential partner.

i agree with the post a picture thing, im not even looking for a partner, yet when i go to a bio with no picture. i generally click straight off it as if the person doesnt exist.


(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
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RE: Dominant and Master Profiles - 11/27/2005 11:50:33 AM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant

You have a very sexy profile. *grin* When can we talk function?

If you will come down here I'll let YOU run over me!



*LOL* Elegant, hon, I might just take you up on that offer, but I think we _might_ have to clear that with Archer first. *grins* And so as not to hijack the thread, I appreciate the feedback on my profile!

(in reply to Elegant)
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RE: Dominant and Master Profiles - 11/27/2005 11:51:53 AM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

Third: post a picture of Your face...or at least offer to send one.


I don't see this issue as being exclusive to profiles of dominants.

It is interesting how many "ask" for a photo, and yet never offer their own.

I'm surprised by some of the photos I've seen posted in profile though.

One man...had an imposing photo of him bare chested, and punching his fist to the camera lens. This shot was VERY aggressive, let alone making a huge statement of implied intimidation. He was a submissive in a VERY aggressive stance, with a horribly angry expression. I sent him a polite note on how I saw his photo, and he thanked me, and posted a nice photo with a beautiful smile. I'm sure he got better reactions, after making the change.

Or the very short man that posts his photo from a such an angle, that he "looks" six feet tall, as if that'll actually make him "be" taller.

Other photos that I found distasteful...the one with "others" in the photo, as if you're to figure which person they are, and then they are putting their friends photos on a BDSM site too. I would be a tad upset to have my photo splashed on this site, if I wasn't involved in BDSM...or even since I am...I wouldn't want my photo shared in someone else's profile.

Photos with a beer bottle in one hand and a cigar in the other...or the cigar dangling from the mouth. Yuck. Just not a good impression, as I see it, although I'm sure some have a cigar fetish/interest.

Some photos just look like no thought was placed in it, and I figure if they look THAT bad in a photo that they are using to try to get someone's attention...they must REALLY be ugly.

K

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RE: Dominant and Master Profiles - 11/27/2005 11:58:49 AM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

very well-done profile, in fact, Geoff. I can't imagine why you're not being overrun with emails and PMs! :)



*smiles* Thank you for the feedback! *grins wryly* Actually I think I'm not over-run because I'm pretty direct. I spell out what I'm looking for and what I'm about. It doesn't leave a lot of room for romantic fantasies, and it certainly discourages the monogamous folks who are looking for their "One and ONLY".... *chuckles* I'm such a picky bastard, I just want a slave for the housework and yardwork.

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Dominant and Master Profiles - 11/27/2005 12:03:36 PM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:


I'm such a picky bastard, I just want a slave for the housework and yardwork.

YIK,
- Geoff


Hell..thats what I want a Master for! *grin*

< Message edited by Elegant -- 11/27/2005 12:04:15 PM >


_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to EvilGeoff)
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RE: Dominant and Master Profiles - 11/27/2005 12:05:49 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
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quote:

So how come I'm not being over run with e-mails and PM's from submissives and slaves who appreciate proper form and function in a profile?

EvilGeoff


As i said, it is rare for me to contact a Man; but when one contacts me, i read His profile before responding. So unless it's there and readable, i don't usually encourage Him.

candystripper

(in reply to EvilGeoff)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Dominant and Master Profiles - 11/27/2005 12:10:20 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
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quote:

Some photos just look like no thought was placed in it, and I figure if they look THAT bad in a photo that they are using to try to get someone's attention...they must REALLY be ugly. [

FTopinMichigan



Anyone can go to Walmart's and get about 6 shots taken by a "professional" and the result is both actual pics and a floppy disk for about $15.

candystripper


< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/27/2005 12:13:40 PM >

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RE: Dominant and Master Profiles - 11/27/2005 12:17:38 PM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline
That's what I want mine for.... but replacing the yardwork with massages <grin> I got lots of replies too until I started getting specific about what I did and did not want/expect. I'm still surprised how many responses I'm getting though! Wouldn't have believed it, most subs I've met (and I've met a lot) have all been pain sluts and would never be even slightest interest in a r/l Mistress where pain wasn't part of the deal. Of course, I'm getting my fair share of "you're not a real Domme" messages too, but that seems to be par for the course in BDSM, no matter WHERE your interests fall, there's always someone who isn't satisfied. C'est la vie.

quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff

*smiles* Thank you for the feedback! *grins wryly* Actually I think I'm not over-run because I'm pretty direct. I spell out what I'm looking for and what I'm about. It doesn't leave a lot of room for romantic fantasies, and it certainly discourages the monogamous folks who are looking for their "One and ONLY".... *chuckles* I'm such a picky bastard, I just want a slave for the housework and yardwork.

YIK,
- Geoff



_____________________________

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Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

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RE: Dominant and Master Profiles - 11/27/2005 12:27:09 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline
You said it exactly right!

I too will go to profiles and see what kind of a person is writing to me. Even sometimes to see more about someone who posts here. A poorly written profile says things to me like, "I don't care about good grammar" , "I'm not really educated" , or "These people are idiots and won't know that I'm lying". This is true of Dom(mes) and Subs.

Your profile is the first real impression people get of you. What do you want that impression to say? "Hey look at me!" or "Hey look at me and see how stupid I am."


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Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to candystripper)
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