Is this dominance or in reality submission ?

Is this dominance or in reality submission ? (Full Version)

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Aneirin -> Is this dominance or in reality submission ? (9/5/2008 2:12:11 PM)
My interest in dominance over another is centred around the private life, the bedroom if you like, how I wish to dominate is in the dominant position of pleasure with another. What I want is basically what a submissive wants, my aim is to find out what a submissive wants and needs and give that in my best ability. My wish is for a submissive to be satisfied with the outcome, perhaps even enlightened to new possibilities within the play she needs. So, basically I in a dominant position am allowing , causing and inspiring my submissive to grow within herself. Now, if I can achieve growth and inspiration in another, that makes me more than happy, in that I have succeeded in my aim, my pleasure is the process and the end result. The question is, in my version of dominating another, am I really submitting to another ?

littlewonder -> RE: Is this dominance or in reality submission ? (9/5/2008 2:55:09 PM)
Are you forgoing your own selfish desires and needs? If so then you are submitting. If it's all about her then yeah...you're submitting.

OttersSwim -> RE: Is this dominance or in reality submission ? (9/5/2008 2:57:27 PM)
And that can be pretty wonderful too. :)

chamberqueen -> RE: Is this dominance or in reality submission ? (9/5/2008 3:01:14 PM)
A well balanced Dominant seeks not only their fulfillment but also that of their partner. It sounds like you plan to guide and train as well as have your partner find satisfaction as you do. I would call it Dominance with an eye towards mutual fulfillment. I you are only planning on giving pleasure and receiving none, then you have become the servant.

Aneirin -> RE: Is this dominance or in reality submission ? (9/5/2008 3:03:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder Are you forgoing your own selfish desires and needs? If so then you are submitting. If it's all about her then yeah...you're submitting. I have needs and desires, but my needs and desires are at this time concentrated on being the best I can be for another. I see dominance as a kind of service to another, I seek those of a mind that runs with mine.

Aneirin -> RE: Is this dominance or in reality submission ? (9/5/2008 3:14:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chamberqueen A well balanced Dominant seeks not only their fulfillment but also that of their partner. It sounds like you plan to guide and train as well as have your partner find satisfaction as you do. I would call it Dominance with an eye towards mutual fulfillment. I you are only planning on giving pleasure and receiving none, then you have become the servant. You have it, mutual fulfillment is what I seek in reality, I am a compromising person and I do not put myself above any other, but on a par. We all need, and we all seek to fulfill those needs, I will gladly give and by what I give I will receive, as I fail to see that the female is any different from the male, we are all horny perverted creatures bent on creative and educational fulfillment, the female coyness, I see through, which is delightful to see. I have been a servant and I lost interest and sex became a chore and as a chore there was no creativity on her part and no enjoyment for me, never again.

LaTigresse -> RE: Is this dominance or in reality submission ? (9/5/2008 3:36:26 PM)
Aneirin, does it really matter? I mean, if you find the person that fits with you, with your desires, who cares what the label is or if indeed there is an appropriate label. It just is what it is. Yours and hers.

newone11 -> RE: Is this dominance or in reality submission ? (9/5/2008 3:51:00 PM)
Sounds a bit like "Servant Leadership" to me. But if it works for you and your partner then it works.

Aneirin -> RE: Is this dominance or in reality submission ? (9/5/2008 4:07:40 PM)
Labels do not matter, the whole thing, dominant, switch, submissive I find too restricting, labels designed to define, but humans defy definition. I list on here as switch, purely because I feel I am not wholy dominant nor wholy submissive and I do not switch in between, but switch is the most honest category I could select, as there is no category for ' Just kinky '. My question was about how could I define myself for those interested in me on here, as I have had a few inquiries, where to be honest, what I say in my conversationwith others trails off, and I wonder if someone seeking a Dominant sees a dominant, or just a confused wannabee. I do understand that the right person will come along when the time is right, I am optimistic, it might happen, be it here or other places, but given my thoughts on the role of a dominant, am I a dominant or should I describe myself as other.

ThundersCry -> RE: Is this dominance or in reality submission ? (9/5/2008 4:20:13 PM)
I don`t see it as you submitting* at...all.* We each have our own little ways... There are times it trips my triggers to stuff my own wants/needs/desires as I allow one to experience pleasure as well as pain however...just another way of dancing.... When I want what I am after, rest assured I will take it... Be your own man...

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Is this dominance or in reality submission ? (9/5/2008 4:25:27 PM)
What matters is the authority- are you the one ultimately wielding it? Masters choose to forgo their own desires and needs for anothers all the time- say she needs to go visit her sick mom when you had football tickets. Oh well. That's not submission, that's good leadership and long term fulfillment.

NuevaVida -> RE: Is this dominance or in reality submission ? (9/5/2008 4:57:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Aneirin, does it really matter? I mean, if you find the person that fits with you, with your desires, who cares what the label is or if indeed there is an appropriate label. It just is what it is. Yours and hers. My thoughts exactly.

MadRabbit -> RE: Is this dominance or in reality submission ? (9/5/2008 5:02:31 PM)
Just call yourself a Top. Then do what you enjoy and leave the philosophical meaning behind it to people with free time on message boards. [:D]

AnnaOfAramis -> RE: Is this dominance or in reality submission ? (9/5/2008 8:46:23 PM)
quote: What matters is the authority- are you the one ultimately wielding it? Masters choose to forgo their own desires and needs for anothers all the time- say she needs to go visit her sick mom when you had football tickets. Oh well. That's not submission, that's good leadership and long term fulfillment. Exactly! This girl's Master maintains that masters also serve. They serve their property by taking care of her, providing direction, control etc. and by taking care of her needs so that she is able to grow into the best slave that she can be. It is much the way the president "serves" the country. A leader can serve, but the difference is in who holds the power. anna

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