RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive/slave?

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RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/29/2005 12:17:22 PM

Posts: 20
Joined: 3/8/2005
Status: offline

This is true. And also, common interests are a factor too, not just BDSM stuff. But compatability is a must as well and to be candid, I couldn't find anyone who possesses either of those factors which prompted me to go on hiatus. But thanks for the advice all the same!

(in reply to MasterRobert1)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/29/2005 2:04:50 PM

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirEbonyDlite

Recently, I made the agonizing decision to temporarily suspend my search for a female play submissive/slave because I've become extremely frustrated at the kind I desired. What I've discovered is that based on the informations in some of their profiles, they are either:

a) Vulgar, rude, disrespectful toward Dominants who might want to own them.

b) It's a "me, me, me!" thing with some of them.

c) Some are seeking sexual gratification or a free, yet illegall trip to the USA.

or d) They really aren't submissive as they claim, but SAMmies.

Since I made my decision, I wonder why it is so hard to find the right kind of submisisive/slave if all they want to do is play childish games? Any ideas?

Have you tried to get involved in your local scene - I'm surprised that through the munches, play parties, etc, etc you wouldn't be able to find a play partner (since you said you were looking for a play submissive).

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/29/2005 9:20:29 PM

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Joined: 3/8/2005
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Actually I do belong to a local munch group (which is a small and relatively new group, btw) and have attended play parties in my location. But the subs I have played with are owned by other Doms. And also, being a person of color, it's hard to find a play partner that I might like to scene with, maybe more. But I'm not giving up, just taking a break from seeking a sub/slave for now.

< Message edited by SirEbonyDlite -- 11/29/2005 9:24:29 PM >

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/29/2005 9:37:29 PM

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Joined: 11/3/2004
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goddamit, hp.......

I had like 55 blowjobs waiting until you started with your happy ass.........
now I gotta save this......LOL

Look, guys and gals, what do we want ? really?
Love, caring, a friend............simple shit.
as a frien of mine Aakasha says..........and Lady Angelika.......oh hell I can't name 'em all.....some tolerance

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to happypervert)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 12/2/2005 9:33:12 AM

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Joined: 9/26/2004
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ok veronica, go to the concession stand, we are starting another episode of Mistresspiece Theater----no disrespect SirEbony, you will soon come to learn many of our personalities--ok at the risk of starting a barrage--

Vulgarity and rudeness should not be traits exhibited by a human to another human--however it exists--BUT, just because you are listed as a Dom does not mean any sub owes you any more respect than you woud be afforded as any person--that is the mistake that so many Dominants--male and female make-- I am Dom/me, you must respect Me--uh huh--sorry, until there has been an agreement that the dynamic exists, the sub as well as the Dominant is not obligated to accord any more respect than meeting someone on the street---should politeness be accorded? Yes but to everyone--but it doesn't always happen.

In the initial stages, subs and dominants have every right to share their wants and needs--that is the only way one can sift through the masses-- I am sure you on occasion come across as Me Me Me too--we all do.

We have tons of threads ad nauseum about the wannabes, it works both ways--as My peers here know, I have sorted through 200+ and we all have stories about the sifting, sorting process--its just like vegetable shopping-- some are rotten, some are green, some are in the wrong bin, and once in awhile, one is perfect---but you don't stop shopping---

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 12/2/2005 9:38:59 AM >

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 12/2/2005 9:43:01 AM

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Joined: 7/14/2005
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Greetings SirEbonyDlite,

I see that your going to get a whole lot of rude messages from subs who dont owe you anything. I just had a thread in the same general direction and defended myself for lots of pages. Keep looking my freind the more you post the better your chances are at meeting new people on this forum. I cant count the number f slaves and submissives that ive met and they like where I stand in this lifestyle.

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 12/2/2005 11:26:44 AM

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Look, guys and gals, what do we want ? really?
Love, caring, a friend............simple shit.

It should be easy, simple. Yet it is not.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to MHOO314)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 12/2/2005 1:42:07 PM

Posts: 396
Joined: 9/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Since I made my decision, I wonder why it is so hard to find the right kind of submisisive/slave if all they want to do is play childish games? Any ideas?

Other than candystrippers fained jaded sarcasm (kj girl).
You seem to know whats already out there.. Yep.. thats a fact.
Do you REALLY want to know why?

Cause WE fucked up. WE.. Men..
Foundation?
We ALLOW it.. we have so MANY "doms", "tops" and wanna-be "masters" out there.. ALL led around by their cock. they wanna get laid, and have sluts abound.. so.. as a result, to get what they want, they let the subbies run a fucking muck.

WE let the chain go too damned loose for too damned long. Hey, its a natural result.. all the brats, subbies, "I'll submit if (lemme get my checklist) blah blah blah" come from OUR failure to Master them.
Now what you hear and I hear are two different things. "I" hear the desperate cry of a slut saying " take me, Master me, OWN me, DON'T let me run my mouth, MAKE ME REALIZE AND FEEL MY BONDAGE". They are in such a state.. the very ones that act so badly are the ones that need it the most.. Many won't admit it, but reading the above, they know the knot in their belly, their burn, their need..

Problem is.. WE'VE forgotten how to give it to them...

I FEEL ya.. I really really do.. it wan't 48 hours ago I damn near dropped the lifestyle myself and went nilla.. My problem is, it would literally kill my spirit to do so. SO.. I'll just die this slow nilla death till...... I look down, pull her head back, and through the tears in her eyes she says "yes Master".

What do you do? Have you explored Gorean philosophy? There is no more sought after creature in the world like a kajira (that will start some shit).
Be well

Edited to say "Mean people suck, Nice people swallow".

< Message edited by Webmaster60 -- 12/2/2005 1:46:01 PM >

_____________________________

Master Michael
~~~~~~~~~~
"To sin in silence when he should
speak makes cowards of men"

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 12/2/2005 3:14:23 PM

gentlesurrender

Posts: 99
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

as my mentor said to me recently

you will not change, you cannot change, you are who you are, live it or die

if we arent out at least sitting on the park bench, no-one can walk on by

you never know who is round the corner, maybe it will happen next week, next month, next year, but the hope is someday, somewhere, your corner will come, but you have to at least be walking to find out.

i wish you well during your break, and may hope and strength return to continue your journey

_____________________________

We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy" Walter Anderson

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 12/2/2005 5:53:50 PM

Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

Hey...what about this? We'll sort ourselves by brand names -- like Land's End for the edge players -- so You don't have to search and get frustrated like the rest of us. And of course Doms and Masters would reciprocate and classify Themselves -- perhaps into "cyber"; "lying about being married"; "new but claiming to be Old Guard"; etc.
candystripper

ROFLMFAO....I don't think I have ever read anything so funny on this website before. In all seriousness however, to make it easier for all concerned, all people who have ever been married must submit their divorce certificate or acknowledgement from their spouse (in blood) stating the terms of their marriage and outside play. If you can't produce a letter of membership to an organization, you'd have to come in as a newbie or list yourself as cyber. Etc.

And I like your idea about adding to the profile listing with more descriptive categories. Land's End is only the beginning. We could have Victoria's Secret for women who are young, sexy, beautiful, with breast implants who want men to only look and worship, but not touch. Then there could even be a category called "Walmart", for the sleezy, trailer trash tripe who don't really care who they hook up with.

Anyone who immediately volunteers to help with maintaining the website could be immediately recognized as a Horney Net Geek.

This could be fun. Do an advanced search not only for a Dom or Sub in your area, age, height, weight and predilections, and now we could sort by personality type! Geez....You could be onto something really big!

(in reply to candystripper)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 12/3/2005 4:41:50 AM

Posts: 242
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline

quote:

. Land's End is only the beginning. We could have Victoria's Secret for women who are young, sexy, beautiful, with breast implants who want men to only look and worship, but not touch. Then there could even be a category called "Walmart", for the sleezy, trailer trash tripe who don't really care who they hook up with.

Hey Sunshine, LOL, if I am a bit too old for the Victoria's Secret catagory and a LOT too classy for the walmart one, would I be in the Dillard's or J.C. Penney's section? Please resond A.S.A.P so I may update my profile accordingly!

_____________________________

He says she is immodest; Blames her amiss; What follows more, she murders with a kiss

(in reply to Sunshine119)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 12/3/2005 5:22:06 AM

Posts: 242
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline

quote:

a) Vulgar, rude, disrespectful toward Dominants who might want to own them.

My suggestion would be perhaps you have simply not yet approached the type of person whom would be ideal for what you are looking for. While it is true there are many fakes and gamers on both sides of the fence, maybe it is just a matter of perception? What is it that you find vulger or rude? This may not be the same for you as it is for another. I personally would find it rude that One would expect anything other then good manners on a first contact. If a Dom/me were to command anything other then that from me, I would find that itself to be rudeness. If someone i didn't know started questioning me about my sexual kinks i would find that vulgar. But I realize that not everyone sees this the way I do.

b) It's a "me, me, me!" thing with some of them.

Perhaps by them expressing what they want and desire it should be viewed as a good stepping stone to see if it matches what you want and desire. if it does not from the begining you can have a good idea if you are wasting your time or not.

c) Some are seeking sexual gratification or a free, yet illegall trip to the USA.

Yeah well, sad but true you will find people who only want to use you to their own ends in EVERY aspect of life. Time and experiance theach us to guard ourselves against things of this nature.

or d) They really aren't submissive as they claim, but SAMmies.

Now don't go knocking sammies, there are pleanty of subs whom at times have their sammie moments, if this is not for you, then it is not for you. But that doesn't mean that you can pass a judgment on the submissive nature just because they have a smart mouth ~grins~

I am sorry you have decided to suspend your search. I would say nothing in life was easy, not the search for a sub nor the search for a Dom. Nothing worthwhile in life comes easy. when and if you find the person who matches what you want it will be all the more treasured because she did not just fall at your feet the moment you started looking.

_____________________________

He says she is immodest; Blames her amiss; What follows more, she murders with a kiss

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 12/3/2005 5:34:33 AM

Posts: 261
Joined: 9/16/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Land's End is only the beginning. We could have Victoria's Secret for women who are young, sexy, beautiful, with breast implants who want men to only look and worship, but not touch. Then there could even be a category called "Walmart", for the sleezy, trailer trash tripe who don't really care who they hook up with.

If you will look, you will see some already "tip their hand" with the proper label. If I see "Lady", "Lord", "Sir", I immeidately get a high reading on my BS indicator and proceed cautiously. "slave" is another handle that makes me say...whoa there. How can you be a slave to me? We have not even met yet. I see a slave as being a progression of a relationship. play partner; steady play partner; submissive; slave. So anyone wanting to jump right into "slavery" is akin to the mail order bride...not for me. As for Gor, with a few notable EXCEPTIONS, I view Gor as a trekkie with a whip.

Have I insulted enough people? If not, stay tuned; there is more to come.

_____________________________

Master Jerry

(in reply to angaothsi)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 12/3/2005 5:34:34 AM

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Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Good Christ;
Woman?
Is this our FIRST fight?

IronBear......check these good people out

Ron

Ron you are too damn cute in the morning

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 12/3/2005 5:36:36 AM

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingmaster45

quote:

Land's End is only the beginning. We could have Victoria's Secret for women who are young, sexy, beautiful, with breast implants who want men to only look and worship, but not touch. Then there could even be a category called "Walmart", for the sleezy, trailer trash tripe who don't really care who they hook up with.

If you will look, you will see some already "tip their hand" with the proper label. If I see "Lady", "Lord", "Sir", I immeidately get a high reading on my BS indicator and proceed cautiously. "slave" is another handle that makes me say...whoa there. How can you be a slave to me? We have not even met yet. I see a slave as being a progression of a relationship. play partner; steady play partner; submissive; slave. So anyone wanting to jump right into "slavery" is akin to the mail order bride...not for me. As for Gor, with a few notable EXCEPTIONS, I view Gor as a trekkie with a whip.

Have I insulted enough people? If not, stay tuned; there is more to come.

i have found for myself, the transition from sub to slave for a master is indeed not an easy one. it is something that comes w time

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to lovingmaster45)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 12/3/2005 6:04:11 AM

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Joined: 1/5/2005
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should this even interest me...well it must to some degree because here I am giving my 1.3 cents worth of opinion...quityourbitchin...enough said...

Fury

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 12/3/2005 6:13:20 AM

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

Greetings SirEbonyDlite,

I see that your going to get a whole lot of rude messages from subs who dont owe you anything. I just had a thread in the same general direction and defended myself for lots of pages. Keep looking my freind the more you post the better your chances are at meeting new people on this forum. I cant count the number f slaves and submissives that ive met and they like where I stand in this lifestyle.

Master Six

that must be what it is,lol...........

plz give me sis a smack for me

< Message edited by fyreredsub -- 12/3/2005 6:14:33 AM >

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to SirSix72)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 12/3/2005 12:30:18 PM

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Joined: 8/4/2005
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Edited:

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72
_____________________________
I wish you well

hey, that's my line! but i'm sharing, so i wish you well.

_____________________________

maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
got shoes?

(in reply to SirSix72)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 12/3/2005 12:36:19 PM

Posts: 396
Joined: 9/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

As for Gor, with a few notable EXCEPTIONS, I view Gor as a trekkie with a whip.

::tilts a curious head:: ::shrugs:::

Hmm... ok

_____________________________

Master Michael
~~~~~~~~~~
"To sin in silence when he should
speak makes cowards of men"

(in reply to lovingmaster45)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 12/3/2005 11:44:40 PM

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

Just tell them you are tall, dark, handsome, filthy rich; will gladly support them, their children and next of kin; have a penis 10 inches long and 6 inches round, you love to eat pussy and can breathe through your ears.

Ahem!

Vendaval

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)

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