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is "live in" employment? negotiating agreement - 9/5/2008 11:47:56 PM

TSLivingDoll

Posts: 8
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

seems to me it is.  A live in sub does do the work PAID domestics would do, plus she or he is also "on call" for use sexually or for bdsm sessions, social life, and more. that is work!.. i'd say more work then going to the office!

I don't think just room and board are quite equal to the position. what do you think?   I'm thinking, well actually negotiating a little, for a position as live in fetishdoll, maid etc, and i'm quite frankly amazed at what some people are expecting for free! and some really think a sub is going pay to be there? OK, well fantasy is one thing..but when you really are a live in when is the fantasy trip over?    Am I missing the point that subs are so happy to be subs they just give it up? time, self, money? I know I don't have the mindset right? lol well, I'm just wondering all this. anyway. i''m sure it's all different for people that love to serve and be submissive. I won't know until I find out slowly and cautiously if I can even be sub. I'm being very careful and not taking any risks.

possibility I should look for a domestic service agreement from an agency that really is in that business of providing domestic help?

let me add one more thought..if the sub is also being used sexually is it not also part of the "service" rendered?  sincesubs don't assert the dom/es to have sex with them right?

I guess because i've been around contracting my whole life i see this. do others see this disparity in live in situations?

thanks in advance all!
Denise

Post #: 1

RE: is "live in" employment? negotiating agre... - 9/6/2008 12:28:08 AM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

did your mom, or your grandmother, or someone like that, who was a stay at home mom, get paid?

i'm a domestic godess and would love, love, love to be able to be a stay at home type of gal, and if someone out there can afford to put a roof over my head and food in my stomach, as well as allowing me the opportunity to get to stay at home and do all those things that i enjoy, i surely wouldn't expect them to pay me for it!

by the same token, there are tons of people who hate domestic work and would rather work outside the home and hire someone to clean up after them and theirs, and that's all fine and dandy as well.

so, what i'm trying to say in a nutshell is this: if you don't want to be a domestic and/or sexual service sub, then don't be, and if you're doing something that you want to do, being where you want to be as a sub, don't expect to get paid for it.

(in reply to TSLivingDoll)

Post #: 2

RE: is "live in" employment? negotiating agre... - 9/6/2008 7:32:19 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I think it is reasonable to expect to receive a small stipend to use to buy yourself an occasional treat as well as presents for others. In addition, it is sensible to say that a savings account should be established to help you move if the relationship ends. People shouldn't be left penniless, with no money to get a new place to live, nor to keep you while you look for work.

However, you might want to negotiate working part time, allowing you to keep up in your field simply because people with large gaps in their employment history have a more difficult time finding work.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to daddysliloneds)

Post #: 3

RE: is "live in" employment? negotiating agre... - 9/6/2008 7:50:39 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Hello TS

I am a bit confused about what you are looking for after perving your profile It is contradicting and maybe this is attracting incompatable people for you?

I agree in part with daddyslil. Don;t expect to be paid as a submissive, I wouldn't expect to get paid for service either. However, the expectation of being able to maintain yourself is reasonable, therefore go with people who are either will to support you or who allow or expect you to work outside your relationship so you can keep yourself. That isn't unreasonable and pretty normal.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to TSLivingDoll)

Post #: 4

RE: is "live in" employment? negotiating agre... - 9/6/2008 8:44:49 AM

sujuguete

Posts: 263
Joined: 7/3/2008
From: DC metro area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TSLivingDoll

I don't think just room and board are quite equal to the position. what do you think?

I think it is a "different strokes for different folks" kind of deal. Stay-at-home wives/mothers don't get paid, work their butts off, are on call 24/7, etc. Do you find that odd or uncomfortable? Or is it just when you add the D/s or BDSM aspect that you find it untenable for you?

quote:

Am I missing the point that subs are so happy to be subs they just give it up? time, self, money?

Yes, SOME subs are happiest when they give up everything to their Dom/Master/Owner. Those are the ones who usually identify themselves as "slaves." Some subs thrive in that environment, and find peace and contentment in situations like that.

quote:

I know I don't have the mindset right?

It is excellent that you recognize this in yourself! Much better than trying to fit someone else's perception of what you "should be" as a sub, and ending up with both of you being miserable when it doesn't work out.

quote:

I won't know until I find out slowly and cautiously if I can even be sub. I'm being very careful and not taking any risks.

Sounds like the sensible thing to do. As with any relationship, D/s or vanilla, you need to find a partner whose perspective and interests mesh with and complement yours.

quote:

I guess because i've been around contracting my whole life i see this. do others see this disparity in live in situations?

Yes, it is a disparity, but a desired one for many folks in this lifestyle. The exchange of power, the giving of power from the sub to the Dom, is a turn on and sometimes a necessity for many here. If it doesn't work for you, then find someone who isn't interested in it either. And best of luck to you in your exploration!

sujuguete

_____________________________

"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For this reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

(in reply to TSLivingDoll)

Post #: 5

RE: is "live in" employment? negotiating agre... - 9/6/2008 8:53:19 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I am a bit confused. You post is almost reading as though you want to be a paid maid/submissive/whore. Nothing wrong with that but it sort of changes the dynamic in my mind.

To ME, service and monetary gain are not even connected. I've always informed girls immediately that I am not wealthy. I cannot afford to support them financially in a manner that I feel would be responsible. Things such as, medical coverage, retirement planning, or a nest egg for them in case we decide they need to leave. Not to mention just the cost of living.

What that means, they will either have to work outside the home OR they have some sort of wealth they are bringing with them.

Of course this doesn't fit the lovely romantic vision many have of a M/s relationship. To bad, I am a realist and this is MY reality.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to TSLivingDoll)

Post #: 6

RE: is "live in" employment? negotiating agre... - 9/6/2008 9:21:36 AM

shivermetimbers

Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline

One thing about paid domestics, Master isn't putting a roof over their heads or feeding them. From reading your profile and your post, I'm getting the feeling you want more for what you are doing. In that case, you should make it clear that there are certain things in life that must be provided beyond room and board, a spending allowance if you will. If that can't be provided, then you can either work part time, or just keep searching.

From personal experience, I think it's necessary that all parties have the ability to have all of their needs met if they were no longer together. If one party is successful enough to support the other, fine. I think it's important that if someone is giving up a career, or not working at all, some provision has to be made for a nest egg should something unfortunate happen to their partner, and they are left destitute from the situation. Not many people have that ability though, so both parties should earn an income that could support themselves without the help of the other, should illness, death, or a breakup occur. If one party is simply propping up the other, it's a recipe for disaster for most, and they should really consider the financial aspects before living together. Good luck in your search.

_____________________________

I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

If we descended from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ3CJi0Ih9s&feature=player_embedded

http://www.thebuccozone.com/piratesong.htm

(in reply to TSLivingDoll)

Post #: 7

RE: is "live in" employment? negotiating agre... - 9/6/2008 9:35:23 AM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

how much would it cost you for the following things: rent, food, electricity, water, heat/air condition, clothing, etc etc. you are definitely being as you say...paid...if you are a live in and the above is provided by the dom.

if you are a sub you would be happy to serve and not complain.

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to shivermetimbers)

Post #: 8

RE: is "live in" employment? negotiating agre... - 9/6/2008 10:37:23 AM

TSLivingDoll

Posts: 8
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

thanks all, good points from everyone. I won't know if being a sub is for me until i experiance the lifestyle for real. Most reasonable people I've talked with expect the basic room and board, with a possible allowance. I actually don't have a problem with that. pretty much all I would really expect anyway .
Now, just because that mom and grandma slaved day and night for centuries doesn't mean thats a right way.. just the way most society evolved. (fifties household?) women in general Serve,, even for liberated women we still are in jobs that traditionally low in pay. BUT! I don't want to start off on that tangent! Someone once said to me feminists make the best subs. I think i'm starting understand that statment. . I dont' know why, but many of my feelings for women's equality have become less of an issue since I discoverd this deep feeling I have for being a sexually objectifed female. my feminist girlfriends better not see that statment! But.. I can turn it off in my vanilla life. So I guess i'm not going anywhere soon with all this. no I don't think i'm confused. also please understand, i'm not trying to insult anyone intentionally or by accident so i'm trying to be delicate in this thread
thanks all
Denise

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 9

RE: is "live in" employment? negotiating agre... - 9/6/2008 10:54:02 AM

seababy

Posts: 845
Joined: 6/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shivermetimbers

One thing about paid domestics, Master isn't putting a roof over their heads or feeding them. From reading your profile and your post, I'm getting the feeling you want more for what you are doing. In that case, you should make it clear that there are certain things in life that must be provided beyond room and board, a spending allowance if you will. If that can't be provided, then you can either work part time, or just keep searching.

From personal experience, I think it's necessary that all parties have the ability to have all of their needs met if they were no longer together. If one party is successful enough to support the other, fine. I think it's important that if someone is giving up a career, or not working at all, some provision has to be made for a nest egg should something unfortunate happen to their partner, and they are left destitute from the situation. Not many people have that ability though, so both parties should earn an income that could support themselves without the help of the other, should illness, death, or a breakup occur. If one party is simply propping up the other, it's a recipe for disaster for most, and they should really consider the financial aspects before living together. Good luck in your search.

I agree, when your a 70 year old sub that's been dumped on her ass, you don't want to be eating cat food and living in a cardboard box because you never planned your own retirement.

Hmmm I have a picture of a submissive over her Master's knee counting out the smacks like this..one dollar!!...two dollars!!..three dollars. Hell I'm going to try that out and see if the spanking gets harder.

(in reply to shivermetimbers)

Post #: 10

RE: is "live in" employment? negotiating agre... - 9/6/2008 1:09:49 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Although mothers and wives don't get paid, live in housekeepers do, and quite well. Nannies, cooks, maids are all positions that can offer room and board as well as salaries and regular hours of service. Plus holiday bonuses.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to seababy)

Post #: 11

RE: is "live in" employment? negotiating agre... - 9/6/2008 7:15:15 PM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TSLivingDoll

A live in sub does do the work PAID domestics would do, plus she or he is also "on call" for use sexually or for bdsm sessions, social life, and more. that is work!.. i'd say more work then going to the office!

I don't think just room and board are quite equal to the position. what do you think?

some really think a sub is going pay to be there?

Am I missing the point that subs are so happy to be subs they just give it up? time, self, money?

Work? How is the "work" any different than you'd be doing for yourself or your family if you live in any situation?

I can't say i see what i do as work, it is something i love. I must have people/things/animals etc..., to nurture and care for, it is what i do.

Hell i used to do all this and go to work, but i am and have been retired for a while now.

The whole"used for sex/scenes" thing i take issue with. I mean, come on, you are also getting to enjoy the sex/scenes aren't you? I like sex/play as much as he does. Even if you do not particularly enjoy them, you are getting your need to provide these things filled, right?

Room and board equal to the position? Well, in this house subs do not work outside of the home. Our basic needs, clothing, entertainment, vehicle, phone, computer,and hobbies are provided for.

There are provisions to stay in the house and for care of any subs who are permanent here as well as all of the above.

Big grins, just today Scooter bought me 2 mandevillias, 2 hibiscus, 2 pincushion flowers, 2 asters and 3 new types of coleus, daffodil and tulip bulbs, for my flower beds. Jewel helped! (Well she did too) But then i am spoiled!

In most households two or more incomes are required, in those the subs work and contribute. Properly done the sub has a savings account in their name under those circumstances, just in case, as well as some spending money.

Perhaps you as an individual may never be happy giving it up, but there are many who are.

< Message edited by Twicehappy2x -- 9/6/2008 7:17:41 PM >

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to TSLivingDoll)

Post #: 12

RE: is "live in" employment? negotiating agre... - 9/6/2008 7:34:03 PM

AcademyForSlaves

Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline

Hi.

Usually slaves don't get paid because slavery is not seen as employment. It's something they want to do and something they are expected to do without wanting or expecting anything in return. But sure there are some slaves that might get rewarded for extra hard work they do for their owner if the owner wants to reward them for it. It's up to that owner. Each situation is different depending what that owner wants and what the agreement is. Some owners let their slaves work at an outside job. We have over 200 affiliates that we pay but our slaves work for us for free. They would never expect to be paid. But if they wanted to be paid as an affiliate we surely wouldn't stop them.

_____________________________

Academy Mistresses
http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to TSLivingDoll)

Post #: 13

RE: is "live in" employment? negotiating agre... - 9/7/2008 10:03:53 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

Let me speak pragmatically for a moment.

Anyone living in the US over the age of 21 should be filing a tax return every year, even if they report income as 'zero'. Failure to do so may someday invite the IRS to your door.

When you retire in the US, as in begin to receive Social Security, the amount you will be paid will be based on your 'highest earnings' for a period. If you are in your 30's or 40's, you are probably in your highest earning years. Do you want to trade 5 years as a 'ive in' with no marriage certificate or other protection to aid you?

Do others depend on you? Not just people who are not yet 18 years old, but friends or siblings who have become disabled, or parents who have aged and wish to remain in their own homes?

Do you have an 'exit strategy' for when or if this 'live in' situation comes to an end? Nothing is harder to overcome at 40 than a blank spot on your resume 5 years long. No profession is so static that you can blithely re-enter where you left off...you may be lucky to re-enter at all.

So, if you're considering the 'live in' situation, consider it in the context of your entire life, and the lives of those who may depend on you.

candystripper

(in reply to TSLivingDoll)

Post #: 14

RE: is "live in" employment? negotiating agre... - 9/7/2008 10:58:39 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

No kidding about the blank spots. Who wants to rejoin the workforce as a minimun wage earner, simply because you opted to drop out of the wage earners for a time. I have worked for myself a few times in my work history and dropping back in is always difficult. And I do file taxes!

But there is something else which also gets to me... however I don't wish to hijack this thread
Kyst

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 15

RE: is "live in" employment? negotiating agre... - 9/7/2008 11:06:12 AM

GoreanBob

Posts: 12
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline

Wow,
First off TS......nothing is free! EVER!! There's a cost to everything, money or emotion.
Second TS.......Take a long hard look at yourself what you sound like is that if paid your ass is for sale.

But to be real any sub/slave wife or live in partner that works instead of domestic services should add up what they would really earn. I'll explain....

One income goes to cover basic costs for a family car home food ect.... the basics to run a home.
The second income is not what the paycheck says......its after any costs to make that money car insurance maid day care fast food dining out ect....any costs related to giving you enough free time to leave home and earn money. Subtract these things from the take home pay (after taxes). Then figure out an hourly wage.....it'll shock most second income earners!

This isn't to convince anybody to stay home......but to show you what our economic system that has freed women from the bondage of domestic service REALLY values your labor!

Bob

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 16

RE: is "live in" employment? negotiating agre... - 9/7/2008 11:32:57 AM

GreenesGirl

Posts: 7
Joined: 8/31/2008
Status: offline

I'm a live-in slave.   I also work full time in a fullfilling career.  We do not find it practical for me to not work for many reasons: I need the challenge and stimulation of a regular job; health benefits and 401k; the additional income allows for a more secure financial standing.

We both put money into a household fund that pays mortgage, food, bills, vacations, renovations, etc. Ma'am manages the household fund. Yes, both of our names are on the mortgage (we've been together 9 years; we bought the house together 2 years ago).   While the remainder of my salary is in my name, Ma'am dictates how I allocate it (savings, car payments, fun money, etc).

Because I work outside the home, we pay a housecleaning service to come in and clean every other week, as well as a lawn service, out of the household fund.  This allows me to focus on other aspects of running the house, and have more time directly serving Her and Her needs. Ma'am also does some of the work that She enjoys - most of the gardening, some of the cooking.   I do everything else - keeping the house tidy, errands, laundry, ironing, most of the cooking, making sure the home is as comfortable as possible for Her. I try to make Ma'am feel like she is living in a 5 star hotel where pampering and care are a constant.

The life I have is extremely fulfilling - I am beyond content.   What I have is priceless - and can't be bought.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 17

RE: is "live in" employment? negotiating agre... - 9/7/2008 11:33:17 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Wow, you mean that some dual income families have maids and eat out all the time?

Around here, there is no such thing. Everyone chips in and cleans, cooks, does laundry. We usually carpool so it's still one car going back and forth on the commute. Granted this little farmette isn't a hovel but we certainly are not living extravagantly by any stretch of the imagination either.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to GoreanBob)

Post #: 18

RE: is "live in" employment? negotiating agre... - 9/8/2008 9:07:40 PM

TSLivingDoll

Posts: 8
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

Ummm I'm not on this soliciting, people are always asking me 24/7 almost the very first Email anyway I changed the wording.
I DO NOT have any real experiance in giving myself over to a person, or household. but I keep exploring. some people are very nice,, many are.. well.. never mind. in all things we reap what we sow. So I"m looking more closely at my wording on my profile again.

My son stayed here with for almost 2 yrs recently, he went back to his other home. It cost me allot to have him here. I was shocked how much more all my everday costs went up.

Anyway..heres another thought.. if someone is a live in or any situation with out actual paychecks and witholdings. they will have a gap/gaps in Social Security too. . (if SS lasts that long) I lost about 6yrs when I didn't file for many yrs. It reduced the contributions quite a bit.
Just more to ponder.

< Message edited by TSLivingDoll -- 9/8/2008 9:31:10 PM >

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 19

RE: is "live in" employment? negotiating agre... - 9/9/2008 4:34:48 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

My advice, discard the 24/7 conversations until you've had some rl experience in this lifestyle, really it's putting the cart before the horse. I spent years in non-committed service relationships, every-other weekend, as an affectionate bottom. It gave me the experience I wanted and needed and prepared me for the relationship I now have. During this discovery stage, I discovered that I indeed want, need, desire to perform all aspects of service including domestic. Clearly you aren't ready for this yet. Crawl before you walk, walk before you run and don't be in a hurry.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to TSLivingDoll)

Post #: 20

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