iwillserveu
Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
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A man tells his friend he wants to be buried at sea.
He was never a sailor or anything, so his friend asks him why.
He says, "My wife says she'll dance on my grave."
A man's neighbor says he should get some new blinds.
So the man asks his neighbor why.
"Well I could see you and your wife making whoopie last night," he says.
"Ha!" laughs then man. "Shows what you know. I wasn't even home last night!"
An old woman answers the phone and hears ," Hi, Ma, it's me."
She says it's OK he never calls if she had a heart attack it probably be small one and she could crawl to a neighbors for help.
He says, "Sorry, Ma, I've been busy."
She say it is all right he never visits because if she falls down and can't call for help the paperboy would notice the papers piling up on the porch and eventually someone would check on her.
He says, "Ma, I'm sorry. I've been busy but this Saturday me and Doris and the kids will stop by and..."
Before he can continue she says, "Doris? who is Doris?"
He says, "My wife, Doris."
She says, "Don't you mean Carol?"
He says, "Is this 5089942907?"
She says, "No, it is 50899432908."
He says, "Oh I'm terribly sorry."
She says, "So, you're not coming?"
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When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace. 
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