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RE: Remote Punishment - 9/10/2008 2:20:47 PM

Posts: 22
Joined: 8/18/2005
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I would like to thank everyone for their comments. In closing, there was no animosity until he started to guilt My slave into undoing her decision for her part she is perfectly fine where's she at, it didn't matter that it was brought to his attention that it was not to be allowed. To me he comes back with that he will respect her decision, to her he comes back that he doesn't trust me. I don't as a rule dislike someone until they abundantly give me cause, it's a waste of My time.

Sadly, he is now going to do everything in his power to report me to CollarMe and as I understand it her too... a travesty I won't be able to log on... Me because I am a danger to her? And, her because she allows it? Hmmmm..... Yep, does not respect the M/s dynamic.... much less her and her decision...

Oddly, he is starting to act like a stalker... there are laws for that..... but I digress....

Anyway, thank you for your time.

< Message edited by MasterBrat -- 9/10/2008 2:52:44 PM >

(in reply to batshalom)

RE: Remote Punishment - 9/10/2008 3:40:20 PM

Posts: 263
Joined: 7/3/2008
From: DC metro area
Status: offline

What I find curious is that so many have jumped on the OP, telling him he was irresponsible and that he "failed to keep her safe."

I think it is more accurate to say that the submissive in question was irresponsible and failed to keep herself safe. At any time she could have chosen to sleep (admitting she was wrong about not needing it) instead of risking the problems that sleep deprivation can bring.

_____________________________

"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For this reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Remote Punishment - 9/10/2008 3:43:05 PM

Posts: 263
Joined: 7/3/2008
From: DC metro area
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I totally expected this thread to be about something different, like a dominant hiding the remote from the submissive. I could just imagine the experience as I'm tied up in front of the television screen and Gossip Girl starts, I reach for the remote to find a rerun of Star Trek, and suddenly it's gone! Then I see her across the room, her sadistic eyes glowing bright because she's realized that she's taken me to the very edge and has taken me where I've never gone before. I then safeword, and she says "Wait until the commercials start" AND THEY NEVER COME!!!! It's some kind of Gossip Girl Hell where there are no commercials, and I can't do anything about it. This continues for another 20 minutes, and then a short promo-commercial comes on (she says "No, a REAL commercial") and the promo reveals this is a Commercial Free ALL DAY Gossip Girl event! I then realize this may never end.....

_____________________________

"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For this reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

RE: Remote Punishment - 9/10/2008 4:03:00 PM

Posts: 120
Joined: 4/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

So what? It's not my relationship, and my relationship isn't theirs. They are welcome to respectfully share their concerns, but ultimately they are either my friend and respect my choice and situation, or they don't. And if they don't, then that's fine, we move apart and seek our bliss elsewhere. I don't waste my time proving to others how happy and functional my relationships are.

I don't care if someone wants to physically destroy themselves, you're right, it's not my relationship, but fatigue is a huge issue and affects other people. I deal with human factors for a living and have studied fatigue extensively. I'm also a pilot...you wouldn't believe the accident reports where pilot fatigue was the probable cause. And do I really need to cite the studies of auto drivers falling asleep? So yeah...if either of them are getting behind the wheel, filling my prescriptions at the pharmacy, flying an airplane I'm on, or making my food at a restaurant, it is my business. Don't let you irresponsibility affect my life.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Remote Punishment - 9/10/2008 6:48:15 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: flower2007

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

So what? It's not my relationship, and my relationship isn't theirs. They are welcome to respectfully share their concerns, but ultimately they are either my friend and respect my choice and situation, or they don't. And if they don't, then that's fine, we move apart and seek our bliss elsewhere. I don't waste my time proving to others how happy and functional my relationships are.

I don't care if someone wants to physically destroy themselves, you're right, it's not my relationship, but fatigue is a huge issue and affects other people. I deal with human factors for a living and have studied fatigue extensively. I'm also a pilot...you wouldn't believe the accident reports where pilot fatigue was the probable cause. And do I really need to cite the studies of auto drivers falling asleep? So yeah...if either of them are getting behind the wheel, filling my prescriptions at the pharmacy, flying an airplane I'm on, or making my food at a restaurant, it is my business. Don't let you irresponsibility affect my life.

The OP said she doesn't drive and only operated a pencil/pen, so I didn't see any danger to society there. He also said the slave was only allowing herself 4 hours of sleep a night, and he simply removed an hour each night to prove his point that she needed MORE sleep.

As one who was subjected to sleep deprivation quite often (and who is now dealing with insomnia issues as a result), in various circumstances, I personally can survive on 3 hours a night for about a week before my memory is affected and I function more slowly. I do recall once when my ex husband kept me up for 36 hours straight, give or take, and it majorly screwed me up. I drove to work at 7pm instead of 7am, and on my way home, I woke up behind the wheel while veering across three highway lanes. Thankfully no one was hurt. For me, personally, 3 hours of sleep would not bring me to that state. 3 days with no sleep at all will.

Sadly, people suffer from sleep deprivation (3-4 hours a night) regularly. Resident doctors on 24 hour shifts, paramedics on 24 hour shifts, new mothers, college students, people who have to work two jobs to make ends meet, etc. We feel for those people, rather than condem them for being dangers to society. The OP was making an extreme effort (he said prior efforts had failed) to get his slave to sleep more, since she couldn't bother to take care of her own sleep needs. I'm not sure why we're all on his case for that, but I continue to agree with LA on this one - people who can't support me in my relationships (or at least express concern respectfully and compassionately) don't find themselves in my inner circle very long. Especially if they condemn him for helping me. I don't need to spend my energy defending my relationships. I'll open my eyes to concerns, but not to some schmuck with sour grapes telling me to remove my collar and go to him instead (as the OP also spoke of). If I had removed my collar for anyone like that in the past, it would have been to feed it to him.

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(in reply to flower2007)

RE: Remote Punishment - 9/10/2008 7:01:04 PM

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: flower2007

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

So what? It's not my relationship, and my relationship isn't theirs. They are welcome to respectfully share their concerns, but ultimately they are either my friend and respect my choice and situation, or they don't. And if they don't, then that's fine, we move apart and seek our bliss elsewhere. I don't waste my time proving to others how happy and functional my relationships are.

I don't care if someone wants to physically destroy themselves, you're right, it's not my relationship, but fatigue is a huge issue and affects other people. I deal with human factors for a living and have studied fatigue extensively. I'm also a pilot...you wouldn't believe the accident reports where pilot fatigue was the probable cause. And do I really need to cite the studies of auto drivers falling asleep? So yeah...if either of them are getting behind the wheel, filling my prescriptions at the pharmacy, flying an airplane I'm on, or making my food at a restaurant, it is my business. Don't let you irresponsibility affect my life.

Wow. How dramatic. And what a stretch really. 3 hours of sleep for three days is hardly a risk to the rest of society considering she wasn't in any of the professions that you state.

These two people are in a consentual relationship and it's up to them to decide what level of risk they are comfortable with. There was nothing in the OP's story to indicate that anyone's life was at risk here.

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marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to flower2007)

RE: Remote Punishment - 9/10/2008 7:08:32 PM

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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Whatever happened to the old fashioned way of just working on something?
I sleep too much and at weird times and we are working on it. I'm not being sleep deprived and i'm not being allowed to sleep as much as i did.
each to their own but why couldn't it just be said 'you need to get more sleep, go to bed at so and so time and sleep for at least 7/8 hours'.

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(in reply to marieToo)

RE: Remote Punishment - 9/10/2008 7:15:10 PM

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Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

each to their own but why couldn't it just be said 'you need to get more sleep, go to bed at so and so time and sleep for at least 7/8 hours'.

He did say he had tried all other solutions he could think of before deciding to do this, and nothing worked.

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Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to missturbation)

RE: Remote Punishment - 9/10/2008 7:18:22 PM

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Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

each to their own but why couldn't it just be said 'you need to get more sleep, go to bed at so and so time and sleep for at least 7/8 hours'.

I believe it was somewhere in his story that he did try that and she didn't take it seriously.

And isn't it really beside the point? Some people talk in order to correct, others choose a different tack, or "punishment" or whatever word they choose for it.

It IS bdsm, and I think if we were sitting here talking about something like breath play (which Im sure most would agree is far more risky) no one would be stepping up to the plate and judging him for being irresponsible, or risking her safety. We're in a "practice" where risk is taken all the time, and far worse than what these two did. I'm having a hard time wrapping around the level of hostility from some of the posters here accusing them of being irresponsible, when we as a "sub culture" do far more risky things in "play" every day that are discussed on these boards with acceptance, understanding and an open mind.

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to missturbation)

RE: Remote Punishment - 9/10/2008 7:18:29 PM

Posts: 22
Joined: 8/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sujuguete

What I find curious is that so many have jumped on the OP, telling him he was irresponsible and that he "failed to keep her safe."

I think it is more accurate to say that the submissive in question was irresponsible and failed to keep herself safe. At any time she could have chosen to sleep (admitting she was wrong about not needing it) instead of risking the problems that sleep deprivation can bring.

You are quite right, it literally took Me three days to get her to admit that she was tired and needed sleep. For her part she admitted she is stubborn to her own determent. Picture this: three evenings of your master asking you: "Are you ready to concede that you sleep?" every 15-30 minutes. On the morning (weekend) of the day she relented she could not get out of bed for any purpose. She relented and the activity ended right then and there. She agreed to more sleep, now she sleeps 6 to 8 hours every night and 10 on weekends.

Sleep deprivation is what she was doing to herself, I magnified it by removing one hour. Telling her to go to bed was spitting in the wind, giving her little corrective actions meant nothing but she did them (and there are certain expected results with the ones I used). This is what worked.

< Message edited by MasterBrat -- 9/10/2008 7:38:46 PM >

(in reply to sujuguete)

RE: Remote Punishment - 9/11/2008 3:51:06 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Since you have posted an update with further info, I don't see a problem with the sleep 'punishment'.
The other issue you have with this other man is obviously the main problem. Honestly? If I was her, I would tell him I had no interest in his ideas and that my Master is the only concern. It is possible her prolonged contact with him has given him hope she would be his? He is over reacting - simply ignore his comments and if I was her, I would not be in any communication with him. Ignore him and he will get bored. Keep talking to him and it encourages his negative behaviour.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to MasterBrat)

RE: Remote Punishment - 9/11/2008 4:04:35 AM

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

So the question is: Even though I was on the phone for three nights straight, monitoring My slave for every minute to keep watch over her and of course if I stopped she would have passed out and gone to sleep. By what right does another dominant have to tell the slave of another what she is to do? Am I missing something? Or is this just some passed over asshole in Arizona that is a sore loser?

in my very humble and personal opinion this is all absolutely unfuckin believeable!
What qualifications do you have to experiment with your slave like this?
This is not a question, in my humble opinion, about ANOTHER dominant being a threat to her. It is a question about another Dominant's concerns for your property being a threat TO YOU.
In an ideal world no-one trespasses on another's property. But some property needs to be salvaged before it has suffered irreparable harm.
Here:
http://www.scirus.com/srsapp/search?q=sleep+deprivation&t=all&sort=0&g=s
This is a link to scirus.com (a scientific search engine). It gives you 138,000 + links to studies of sleep deprivation.
In my humble opinion my humble advice would be to stop projecting onto others the harm that you inevitably know you caused her, even if you are denying it.
Slaves can release themselves you know without permission: this is the reality.
And i am not changing my mind because your update seems intent on proving your competences with sleep training or to fall in with majority opinion here on this thread.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 9/11/2008 4:09:08 AM >

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(in reply to MasterBrat)

RE: Remote Punishment - 9/11/2008 4:32:43 AM

Posts: 22
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

What qualifications do you have to experiment with your slave like this?
This is not a question, in my humble opinion, about ANOTHER dominant being a threat to her. It is a question about another Dominant's concerns for your property being a threat TO YOU.

Your profile states that you have given yourself to your Master. Explain to Me what exactly that means? Does that mean as long as you like it? Does it mean as long as someone outside the dynamic that is interested in you approves what is done with you? If you benefited from the activity what difference does it matter what the passed over guy mean to you? You have given yourself to your Master, but your rant here is as long as everyone is comfy with it.

Doesn't sound like much of a giving over to another. Does it?

(in reply to Prinsexx)

RE: Remote Punishment - 9/11/2008 4:35:59 AM

susie

Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

So the question is: Even though I was on the phone for three nights straight, monitoring My slave for every minute to keep watch over her and of course if I stopped she would have passed out and gone to sleep. By what right does another dominant have to tell the slave of another what she is to do? Am I missing something? Or is this just some passed over asshole in Arizona that is a sore loser?

in my very humble and personal opinion this is all absolutely unfuckin believeable!
What qualifications do you have to experiment with your slave like this?
This is not a question, in my humble opinion, about ANOTHER dominant being a threat to her. It is a question about another Dominant's concerns for your property being a threat TO YOU.
In an ideal world no-one trespasses on another's property. But some property needs to be salvaged before it has suffered irreparable harm.
Here:
http://www.scirus.com/srsapp/search?q=sleep+deprivation&t=all&sort=0&g=s
This is a link to scirus.com (a scientific search engine). It gives you 138,000 + links to studies of sleep deprivation.
In my humble opinion my humble advice would be to stop projecting onto others the harm that you inevitably know you caused her, even if you are denying it.
Slaves can release themselves you know without permission: this is the reality.
And i am not changing my mind because your update seems intent on proving your competences with sleep training or to fall in with majority opinion here on this thread.

Goodness how dramatic. We are not talking about complete lack of sleep in this instance but rather a reduction of the slaves normal sleep patern by an hour a night for 3 nights.

Perhaps I need to complain to the hospital that has been treating me and prescribing my cancer drugs. The treatment allows me little more than an hour or two sleep each night which is a recognised side effect. Your body adapts to this in the short term and it does little damage.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

RE: Remote Punishment - 9/11/2008 7:46:50 AM

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Prin goes so swiftly to "Whatever my master wants" into "How on earth can you do this to your slave?"

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(in reply to susie)

RE: Remote Punishment - 9/11/2008 7:53:08 AM

Posts: 14415
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From: United States
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Well, the additional info cleared things up.

But.....

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterBrat
In closing, there was no animosity until he started to guilt My slave into undoing her decision for her part she is perfectly fine where's she at, it didn't matter that it was brought to his attention that it was not to be allowed.

You're putting this entirely on him. Bottom line: there will always be someone that tries to insert themselves into someone else's relationship. You and she need to learn to deal with it.

If she was "guilted" into it.....she allowed herself to be. Why is she still in contact with this man? Why is she even discussing this with him? I can honestly say that if I discussed Master's reprimands of me with anyone but the closest of friends, he'd be pissed. Perhaps you need to have a discussion with her about what portions of your relationship that are appropriate to discuss with people who aren't your friends.

Block, delete, ignore him. Solves the problem doesn't it?

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 9/11/2008 8:02:19 AM >

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RE: Remote Punishment - 9/11/2008 11:29:08 AM

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Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Well, the additional info cleared things up.

But.....

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterBrat
In closing, there was no animosity until he started to guilt My slave into undoing her decision for her part she is perfectly fine where's she at, it didn't matter that it was brought to his attention that it was not to be allowed.
You're putting this entirely on him. Bottom line: there will always be someone that tries to insert themselves into someone else's relationship. You and she need to learn to deal with it.

If she was "guilted" into it.....she allowed herself to be. Why is she still in contact with this man? Why is she even discussing this with him? I can honestly say that if I discussed Master's reprimands of me with anyone but the closest of friends, he'd be pissed. Perhaps you need to have a discussion with her about what portions of your relationship that are appropriate to discuss with people who aren't your friends.

Block, delete, ignore him. Solves the problem doesn't it?

Just needed to highlight the questions above, because I don't understand this, either (although I completely agree with the entire post). Why are you both giving someone else so much power over your relationship?

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Remote Punishment - 9/11/2008 11:45:07 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Prinnie I totally disagree.
The man has explained the procedure. Honestly, a severe beating could cause more damage than a few days sleep deprivation. The women had more sleep than most new mothers do in those few days she went through and she has learnt that sleep is important. I don't see him projecting - I do see him and his being manipulated by a person who really shouldn't matter - that is the main thing here, not the task.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Prinsexx)

RE: Remote Punishment - 9/11/2008 12:04:47 PM

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
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Some shock to this may come from the longtime held assumption that a 8-9 hour range of sleep is 'healthiest' when, in fact, some studies have shown positive effect towards those who sleep less (6-7).

Concerning the actions of this other Dom, I'd almost welcome them. It is a chance for reaffirmation for and by the slave to honor her submission to you. She's chosen you and has no necessity to not be clearly dismissive to him and his continued antics.

_____________________________

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I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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(in reply to RCdc)

RE: Remote Punishment - 9/11/2008 4:05:13 PM

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Joined: 8/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Well, the additional info cleared things up.

But.....

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterBrat
In closing, there was no animosity until he started to guilt My slave into undoing her decision for her part she is perfectly fine where's she at, it didn't matter that it was brought to his attention that it was not to be allowed.
You're putting this entirely on him. Bottom line: there will always be someone that tries to insert themselves into someone else's relationship. You and she need to learn to deal with it.

If she was "guilted" into it.....she allowed herself to be. Why is she still in contact with this man? Why is she even discussing this with him? I can honestly say that if I discussed Master's reprimands of me with anyone but the closest of friends, he'd be pissed. Perhaps you need to have a discussion with her about what portions of your relationship that are appropriate to discuss with people who aren't your friends.

Block, delete, ignore him. Solves the problem doesn't it?

Just needed to highlight the questions above, because I don't understand this, either (although I completely agree with the entire post). Why are you both giving someone else so much power over your relationship?

The contact has dropped to slim to none. In part because of this thread and to an understanding that his game plan was nothing more than disrupting the dynamic, yes for his own purposes and not for either of us that enjoy it. Yes, the slave has read the responses here and did get to see the matter from a set of different eyes... yours...

In addition to this it became much easier to instill the operating procedure that if the IM chat is going into an area she is not comfy in that she can close the session, if he comes back just minimize the window, delete and block him and basically block him... she has come to the conclusion on her own that the purpose of the entire tirade was to exert control to us and have at odds with each other.... any perceived control has been taken back or nullified.

(in reply to NuevaVida)

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