skeletoncrew -> RE: help learning to be a master (9/10/2008 2:20:54 PM)
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ORIGINAL: your2bmine Well, Have been seeking ways to be a good master. Have been having fantasies about it so time to learn. How does one start? i think the best way to learn is research, research, research there are many fine forums like this one, bondage.com, and probably others...there are also many good books written about the subject go to amazon.com and put in "BDSM" and see what looks good for you...there are also chatrooms and interacting with your "peers" on sites like this and others...the more information you have the better... and i generally think it is better to crawl, walk, and then run...by which i mean two things, first put your fantasies in the back of your mind for awhile...most likely they will not be realized immediately and you will have to built a foundation and slowly work your way up in experience and knowledge to really "run"...that also means you have to do your research with an open mind prepared for learning, which means you can't let your ideas, fantasies, concepts, etc, etc become the end all be all in the education process, be open to ideas and information OUTSIDE of what has already popped into your head... quote:
ORIGINAL: your2bmine Got a set of ankle and wrist bracelets, blindfold and now what's next other than a partner. What mixtures of pain and pleasure work best? unfortunately, toys do not a "master"(or dom or top) make, some bottoms/subs/slaves LOVE blindfolds and restraints, for others these are a hard limit that will not be crossed...so, finding the partner is probably your next best practical step(other than continuing the never ending research process), of course there are online personals, local area organizations, local area munches and events, and even national events where you can meet like minded people to start to explore some more... but, once again i recommend you leave your personal ideas and fantasies at the door and concentrate on the theory and the concepts rather than the specifics you have most likely already built up in your head... find some like minded people, talk to them, get to know them, THEN you can get to know what they like, what toys and props might be preferred and most of all "What mixtures of pleasure and pain work best" as this as subjective as each individual person...one may like thuddy sensations, another may like stinging, another may like rope, another may prefer chains, it is all highly subjective and for better or worse(i would say better) there is no paint-by-the-numbers or A-B-C way to go about determining these things... but, as far as general theory on pleasure and pain i would suggest go slow, lots of teasing and sensuality building up to more aggressive sensations, and then back down and around again... think of it like an piece of classical music or movie you want highs and lows, louds and quiets, a roller coaster type effect...
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