RE: Bloopers (Full Version)

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MsStarlett -> RE: Bloopers (9/15/2008 3:54:07 AM)

Bloopers aside from the eventual queef or flatulence during oral sex?    (I know some people like that... but it's a touch embarrassing when it happens accidentally.  Aren't subs glad that Ghoddess gas smells like roses?) 

Most recently, I had my boy hogtied on his knees on the bed getting ready for a bit of CBT.  (I'm normally very nice about letting him be on the bed as we play in hotel rooms and I have bad knees.  I'm not going to get down on the floor and you never know what other kinky people have been doing down there.)  It was his first time in the hogtie rig and I think he was trying to repositon himself.  Not exactly sure what he had in mind, but when he tried to move, he lost his balance and fell flat on his face.  That was way funnier than anything I had planned for the day.  Good thing he had a soft place to land.




denika -> RE: Bloopers (9/15/2008 2:50:48 PM)

During a scene Wolf was trying to prove a point to me, so he went about purposly pissing me off  :) lol, we were kneeling down and facing each other, I had shoved him a few times, in which case he shoved me back (we tend to play very primal) so that was all part of the fun. He slapped me a few times in the back of the head and I pulled my hand back to hit him back and he was expecting it, what he wasn't expecting was for me to close my hand and turn it into a fist (ooops :p)  he had been prepared for me to strike his chest not punch him in the throat!  I felt horrible as he sat down hard and held up his hand and made some strange noises. One should not try and kill ones owner! lol He was fine afterwords but it tought me a lesson in that he was right, anyone can be inspired to hit back--hard-- if aggrivated enough[:-][:D].
We laughed about it after I finished being mortified that I might have harmed him and we still find it one of the funny moments. Right up there with  His wife shooting both of us with an automatic bb gun(plastic pellets)  in a small room with no where to hide, not to mention those wooden kids guns that shoot eleastics, holy crap those things sting! I kept trying to hide behind things, including a large metal thing that at one point served in a kitchen to remove pizza's (I think) from the oven and a teddy bear that wasn't doing much to keep me out of the line of fire[:D]

Laughter is something we try to inject into each other's lives on a regular bases


Wolf's denika




wildaces -> RE: Bloopers (9/16/2008 3:04:34 AM)

ok, picture this. heavy scening at a party...couple behind you starts playing. He spanks her ONCE she screams OWIE i said NOT so hard then she proceeds to leave. needless to say mine was over as well cause i couldnt stop laughing!


Wild




kiwisub12 -> RE: Bloopers (9/16/2008 6:12:12 PM)

Sir was preparing to do a violent (violet) wand demonstration - and (of course!) shocked the s**t out of himself.
I didn't earn any brownie points for laughing my arse off.  Just black-and-blue ones. [8|]




Sandyshores29718 -> RE: Bloopers (9/16/2008 6:14:32 PM)

*fast reply*

During a scene I had we were having anal sex, which I do not love cause of all the pain it is for me... He kept telling me to let go and I finally said I CANT!! I HAVE TO PEE! The look on his face was priceless! Told me to pee then we didnt care about the room, but I did and wouldnt..so he the evil man he is told me to not cum then and started pounding in my ass. I fought to not cum and after a few mins he laughed and allowed me to go pee. While in the bathroom I heard him laughing and told him it was NOT funny, to which he said yes it was. haha...




CruelDesires -> RE: Bloopers (9/16/2008 6:37:38 PM)

I was scening with my girl at Thunder in 04 in the dungeon. After an approximate hour long wait for one of the suspension apparatuses to become available, I strung her up and commenced with our scene. About halfway thru the scene I attached a row of clothespins down each breast with one on each nipple and 2 to 3 above and below. I then commenced to remove each clothespin one at a time with a 4 foot long snake whip. After apologizing to the scenes on our right numerous times for the clothespins that kept flying in their direction, I finally got down to the last clothespin that was attached to her left nipple. I swear that I hit that clothespin around 10 times and all it did was flop back and forth in an almost negative head shaking manner saying in no uncertain terms that it was coming loose. My girl finally got so pissed at the clothespin that she was gritting her teeth when she told me to and I quote" Would you please remove that fucking thing! Its really starting to piss me off!". At the time it was kind of embarrassing  and almost humiliating.. but as we booth look back we laugh and chuckle about it all the time.  
C-D




lovingpet -> RE: Bloopers (9/16/2008 6:46:39 PM)

This story is a bit on the vanilla side, but it is still funny as all get out.  After a failed attempt to induce labor, the doctor suggested that we try going home and having sex.  We looked at each other mortified at first, then grinned evilly.  So we drove home as fast as we could, got in the door throwing clothes off on our way to the bedroom.  We tackled each other into bed and he was ready for action.  He was impressed with how wet I was until he pulled out and found a nasty surprise slathering his cock.  I was in the process of losing my mucus plug (I know, totally tmi).  We were pretty much done after that and just waited it out for baby to arrive.

On the kinkier side of things, we broke all our spankie toys in one night over my ass!  I was proud as I could be.  He was determined to find better equipment!

lovingpet




azropedntied -> RE: Bloopers (9/16/2008 9:06:22 PM)

lets see i was giving a toy bag perversity class and was showing a newly acquired vintage medical piece i had found and bought as an example , everyone thought it was great fun as i held it up for the class to see and i was talking about it , my thumb switched it on and i shocked myself in mid sentence..

Yet another time a Domme  was making a road map of Arizona with implements on my flesh , i unknowingly screamed out MOMMY !! for some  reason , most of the dungeon responded " i do not think that's  your safe word and  your mommy is not here .. " and it was almost like  they had that planned , such a helpful  community group . 




JohnWarren -> RE: Bloopers (9/16/2008 9:29:10 PM)

At a convention, a young lady really begged me to do a fire scene with her, but I hadn't brought those toys.  Well, one thing led to another until I went out to the local CVS and put together a jury-rigged kit.  I didn't have any cloth spreaders but I made some out of cotton, not realizing just how much alcohol they would soak up.

The first time I touched flame to what I thought was a narrow strip of alcohol, her entire back burst into flame.  Instead of using the damp towel or fire extinguisher, I just jumped on her and put it out with my own body.

All the watchers burst out applauding, assuming, I think, it was part of the show.

What could I do?  I got up and bowed.




Skully7000 -> RE: Bloopers (9/16/2008 9:48:22 PM)

I was playing with a very heavy pain slut and she was basically moaning to just about any amount of pain i could dish out.

So i walked up to her with intent to tickle her armpits. I barely touched the skin before she litterally dropped to the ground almost hyperventilating. but apparently everyone around us noticed her "fall" and some came running to help, some just looked all concerned we basically disrupted every scene in that corner of the dungeon. I just looked up shruged and said "I guess she's Ticklish"

some gave me that knowing sadistic look. others gave me the look you give someone who shouts Fire in a crowded room. Pissed that I "disrupted" their scene.




TheLadyConstance -> RE: Bloopers (9/17/2008 4:49:06 PM)

Mine is similar to MsStarlett's, actually.  I had my minion hogtied and on his knees for CBT on the bed, except in my case when he shifted his weight and fell forward, he rolled with it and came right off the end of the bed in a beautiful, if scary, somersault.  I was absolutely terrified that I had killed him, but was also holding in a laugh because he had made such a classic cartoony "Waugh!" as he went over.
*shakes her head*
Poor boy.




lizcgirl -> RE: Bloopers (9/17/2008 7:23:03 PM)

Mine happened in a vanilla setting, but it was the most embarrassing thing that happened to me EVER I had to share it. This was back when I was still in HS and my boyfriend and I were in his truck in the middle of the day at some deserted field having sex. Of course, given that it was truck, I was on top and we were right in the middle of things. He's pulling my hair and biting and we're getting all into it.... so into it I didn't realize my foot had kicked the truck out of park. Suddenly we realize the truck is rolling and I'm trying to get off of him so he can stop it and he's just laughing not really worried about it until we rolled right through this thin barrier of bushes... right into the outfield of a little league softball game that was going on. To make it EVEN BETTER, my ass hit the horn which STUCK so the horn is blaring, my naked ass is in the window, he can't get the truck to start and every one has stopped dead and is staring at us. He was cracking up until he realized that his next door neighbor was one of the people on the sidelines staring at us. Talk about horrible timing.




Darkcast -> RE: Bloopers (9/17/2008 10:59:11 PM)

I was webcamming with a mistress friend of mine and she was telling me stuff to do.  So she tells me to take a dildo and start using it on myself.  So im pulling it in and out when I'm told to bounce on it.  So i start bouncing on it.  Well I bounce to hard and "phloop" all the way in.

Me: ummmm....brb

her: ok

me: *walks out of the room funny*

Needless to say I end up sitting on the toilet for an hour thinking "GODDAMNIT I AM NOT GOING TO THE HOSPITAL"  After constant straining and pushing (with pain cause it refused to bend through the curve it somehow got up) it FINALLY comes out....if I could've at the time I would've prbly crapped myself in fear.




avinyl -> RE: Bloopers (9/17/2008 11:39:25 PM)

Experimenting with electrostim, I wasn't feeling anything from the (decent-sized) plug. After twiddling with the knobs and still getting not a peep- or a squirm- out of me, he pulled out the plug to check the connections...and nearly sent himself halfway across the room from the shock.

Needless to say, we now accept that I react strangely to electro.




YourhandMyAss -> RE: Bloopers (9/17/2008 11:59:54 PM)

That is exactly why all toys to be used in the butt should really have a flared base.  So they can't go up your ass an become stuck.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkcast

I was webcamming with a mistress friend of mine and she was telling me stuff to do.  So she tells me to take a dildo and start using it on myself.  So im pulling it in and out when I'm told to bounce on it.  So i start bouncing on it.  Well I bounce to hard and "phloop" all the way in.

Me: ummmm....brb

her: ok

me: *walks out of the room funny*

Needless to say I end up sitting on the toilet for an hour thinking "GODDAMNIT I AM NOT GOING TO THE HOSPITAL"  After constant straining and pushing (with pain cause it refused to bend through the curve it somehow got up) it FINALLY comes out....if I could've at the time I would've prbly crapped myself in fear.





E2Sweet -> RE: Bloopers (9/18/2008 12:33:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

....2) There was the time where his dog took off with a dildo... the dog thought it was great fun and we had to chase that bastard around for 10 minutes... BAD DOG...


Wow, what a mental image! [:D]

After a fairly crappy night, that totally made me laugh....[:)]




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