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RE: Boys are Flakey - 9/19/2008 3:32:12 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		I've got one who claims to be a Judge in NYC who writes for a few days... then disappears for weeks, then drops one or two more Cmails.  When we first started corresponding, I thought he was very nice, a little flakey, sort of lonely, but nice enough.  Then he started pressing for phone call to 'verify' that I was a woman.  I don't have a cell phone and I'm not about to give my land line number to some guy who might be a little 'off' to Google all my personal information off it, just so he can rest assured that I sound like a woman on the phone.  Flakey comes in all different flavors!

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Boys are Flakey - 9/19/2008 3:45:30 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

If I had a nickel for every sub who deleted an account....

Wait... let's up date that old cliche... If I had a pair of SHOES for every sub...



Wow, I thought my closet was full before!! Emelda move over hon!!!
 
As to why they do it? I can't even guess. I've had them contact me and they only lived 20 minutes from here, and when I try to get them to meet us for lunch or dinner in a location between us, poof... gone. Lunch or dinner... our treat even!!
 
I did have one guy actually show up, at my house. He got here, had driven over an hour to get here... stayed 10 - 15 minutes and took off like a scared rabbit. He did have the decency to email when he got home and apologize for the sudden departure. And he called a few times after that, but he was really absolutely terrified. Come on... I'm 5'2" tall, kind of thin and not at all that skeery... I don't get it.
 
Jewel

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Boys are Flakey - 9/19/2008 5:11:24 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		LOL. Boys are fickle. Of course that would be written by a woman. OP you are going thru what most everyone on has gone thru. Get over it and move on.

(in reply to zakkan)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Boys are Flakey - 9/19/2008 5:16:41 AM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Here is an idea.. why dont you move on.. back to Masterland.. where you can jerkoff quietly and clean up your own mess.. Bless your Heart..SD

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Boys are Flakey - 9/19/2008 5:37:09 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		OP I was not intending that to sound harsh.  

(in reply to Sylverdawn)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Boys are Flakey - 9/19/2008 5:45:35 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		I agree with Dnomyar...it has happened to all of us at one time or another. Don't dwell on it and move on.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Boys are Flakey - 9/19/2008 6:14:19 AM   
HandSolo


Posts: 323
Joined: 11/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HotMistress22

I do a webcam verification within the first few emails and that weeds out the serious candidates from the online wankers.  Who knows why boys are so fickle?


I would assume there is an inverse relationship between lack of possession of a webcam and wankerism.


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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Boys are Flakey - 9/19/2008 6:22:41 AM   
Sunnyfey


Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline 		I tend to do the "write a (insert number here) word essay on what submission means to you"

That tends to make the flakes run for the hills.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Boys are Flakey - 9/19/2008 6:37:30 AM   
rookey


Posts: 100
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett
If I had a nickel for every sub who deleted an account....

Wait... let's up date that old cliche... If I had a pair of SHOES for every sub...



Yep you would make Imelda Marcos blush.  More than 1060 pairs according to wikipedia.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Boys are Flakey - 9/19/2008 1:35:53 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rookey

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett
If I had a nickel for every sub who deleted an account....

Wait... let's up date that old cliche... If I had a pair of SHOES for every sub...



Yep you would make Imelda Marcos blush.  More than 1060 pairs according to wikipedia.


Hey, I'm workin' on it, ok? My gosh, my closet is already massive... I'm gonna have to add on.
 
Jewel

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Boys are Flakey - 9/19/2008 10:40:34 PM   
HotMistress22


Posts: 58
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


quote:

ORIGINAL: HotMistress22

I do a webcam verification within the first few emails and that weeds out the serious candidates from the online wankers.  Who knows why boys are so fickle?


Seeing them on webcam only proves they are the same as their picture. It does not guarantee they will show up for a casual lunch meeting, a cup of coffee, or meet me at a hotel after I fly 2,000 miles to dominate them.

Akasha




Here is my protocol. I invite him for a cyber date via web cam. I tell him that during the cyber date I will need to see a Drivers License (pic and DL number.), Vehicle registration and a utility bill in their name. With this information (utility bill) I can confirm their name and where they live. With their address and name I can do free public records searches in the county they live in to screen for criminal/civil records etc. With the drivers license info I can check their age and confirm profile pic similarities and with the vehicle registration I can find out the vehicle's make, model, year and license plate number.

Finally to verify this information I ask the potential date to hold up the above-mentioned documentation up close to the web cam until I am able to get the clearest image. The potential date may need to adjust room lighting so that I am able to see numbers etc.

If he had any intentions of not showing up, he would think twice before providing this information to a wonderful lady such as yourself.

If they refuse to give me any of the above information, I DO NOT MEET THEM. They will give many excuses that sound legitimate and even make sense! But I do not allow myself to be swayed by them.

With a stringent prescreening protocol I stop most fakes and posers and other undesirables dead in there tracks. Most potential dates who are insincere will not permit this type of background screening process especially if they are not who they say they are.

There are many reasons why someone will not give you this information. Here are just a few.

1. They are married and want to have a (deceitful) relationship without the wife or you knowing.
2. They could be underage.
3. They are a fake and are only interested in online cybersex. Even though they say they want real time.
4. They are posing as another gender. (if it happens to be another FemDom you are meeting)
5. They are online and/or real time stalkers and want you to give out your information but will not give out any of their own.
6. They have multiple user accounts with many fake profile pictures, contacting many members at one time and do not want to be found out.

The list goes on and on.

The above is not intended as the only way to keep myself safe before a first date but it is a fairly effective way to separate the flakey boys from the men. It is not an exhaustive list of things to do either. And since every situation is different when it comes to dating someone online, no one can be 100% sure of ones sincerity. I use my common sense and do not let my emotions stand in the way of just plain good gut instinct and good judgment.

Like with any dating process whether in real-time or online, one needs to separate the good prospects from the bad. My 'suggestions' are simple, offering easy ways to help find a person, safer and within a reasonable period of time.

Hope this helps and hope you made him pay for that plane ticket upfront before he wasted your precious time.


ps: Someone wrote about phone calls -typical entrapment for the unwary. I have another protocol for that one too:) Another time though. Getting late.

Flakey boys.. we are Dommes not Dum!

< Message edited by HotMistress22 -- 9/19/2008 11:39:45 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Boys are Flakey - 9/19/2008 10:50:26 PM   
HotMistress22


Posts: 58
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline 		opps posted twice by accident.

< Message edited by HotMistress22 -- 9/19/2008 10:56:50 PM >

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Come see Me at:
http://www.MistressPlanet.com
Where Dreams Come True.

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Boys are Flakey - 9/20/2008 7:07:15 AM   
subtex


Posts: 129
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Dallas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HotMistress22



Here is my protocol. I invite him for a cyber date via web cam. I tell him that during the cyber date I will need to see a Drivers License (pic and DL number.), Vehicle registration and a utility bill in their name. With this information (utility bill) I can confirm their name and where they live. With their address and name I can do free public records searches in the county they live in to screen for criminal/civil records etc. With the drivers license info I can check their age and confirm profile pic similarities and with the vehicle registration I can find out the vehicle's make, model, year and license plate number.

Finally to verify this information I ask the potential date to hold up the above-mentioned documentation up close to the web cam until I am able to get the clearest image. The potential date may need to adjust room lighting so that I am able to see numbers etc.

If he had any intentions of not showing up, he would think twice before providing this information to a wonderful lady such as yourself.

If they refuse to give me any of the above information, I DO NOT MEET THEM. They will give many excuses that sound legitimate and even make sense! But I do not allow myself to be swayed by them.



I assume that one of the "excuses" that sounds legitimate and even makes sense is that he doesn't know  you that well and doesn't want to have his identity stolen.  Needless to say you would have lost me at the drivers license check.  I wonder what personality traits you are unintentionally filtering out. 

Maybe I'm over-cautious but I guard my personal information.  In fact I've passed on many opportunities to have millions of dollars transfered into my bank account because I'm afraid to give out my information.

I guess there's not a perfect solution.  The last first-meeting I had was at a munch which is a good way to do it.  But munches aren't for everyone. 
Bill



(in reply to HotMistress22)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Boys are Flakey - 9/20/2008 7:35:30 AM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sylverdawn
Explain this too me please.. fellow has contacted me twice.. sent me his picture..is relatively local.. I get three four polite emails then he deletes his account.. preplexed..
SD


It wouldn't surprise me if he pops back up again in a few weeks or months.
 
I have had the same thing happen to me.  There was one sub whom I had been talking to on the phone regularly and was making plans to meet who suddenly deleted his profile from Collarme and pulled a disappearing act with no explanation.  The other day (three months later), there he is again in my inbox, wanting to pick up right where we left off before, with no explanation whatsoever for his three-month lack of contact.  Needless to say, I couldn't be less interested and told him as much.
 
There a dozens of reasons as to why they do this, but pulling a disappearing act with no explanation, then suddenly popping up again a few months later, acting like nothing had happened, doesn't cut it with me.
 
Lady Topaz

(in reply to Sylverdawn)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Boys are Flakey - 9/20/2008 7:49:41 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtex

quote:

ORIGINAL: HotMistress22



Here is my protocol. I invite him for a cyber date via web cam. I tell him that during the cyber date I will need to see a Drivers License (pic and DL number.), Vehicle registration and a utility bill in their name. With this information (utility bill) I can confirm their name and where they live. With their address and name I can do free public records searches in the county they live in to screen for criminal/civil records etc. With the drivers license info I can check their age and confirm profile pic similarities and with the vehicle registration I can find out the vehicle's make, model, year and license plate number.

Finally to verify this information I ask the potential date to hold up the above-mentioned documentation up close to the web cam until I am able to get the clearest image. The potential date may need to adjust room lighting so that I am able to see numbers etc.

If he had any intentions of not showing up, he would think twice before providing this information to a wonderful lady such as yourself.

If they refuse to give me any of the above information, I DO NOT MEET THEM. They will give many excuses that sound legitimate and even make sense! But I do not allow myself to be swayed by them.



I assume that one of the "excuses" that sounds legitimate and even makes sense is that he doesn't know  you that well and doesn't want to have his identity stolen.  Needless to say you would have lost me at the drivers license check.  I wonder what personality traits you are unintentionally filtering out. 

Maybe I'm over-cautious but I guard my personal information.  In fact I've passed on many opportunities to have millions of dollars transfered into my bank account because I'm afraid to give out my information.

I guess there's not a perfect solution.  The last first-meeting I had was at a munch which is a good way to do it.  But munches aren't for everyone. 
Bill


Bill, I agree with you 100%. I don't ask for that kind of information and would be taken aback should someone offer it to me. I will do webcam verification, but that's only to prove I really am female, I don't do cyber crap. I don't give out my drivers license number, social security number or banking numbers and I don't have a single utility bill in my name... so see, I'd be screwed too.
 
That's just to much info to ask for from someone that's never met you. I've had a number flake out on me but I won't change what I do over it. Granted I'm more jaded now and have a tendency to not believe a word of what someone tells me online, but I still deal with them the same way. I will give out my addy, but that's because it's easier to mapquest directions that way. Besides... we're well armed so that doesn't bother me.
 
Jewel

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Boys are Flakey - 9/20/2008 8:21:29 AM   
MmeGigs


Posts: 706
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HandSolo
I would assume there is an inverse relationship between lack of possession of a webcam and wankerism.


That's what I've always assumed.

(in reply to HandSolo)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Boys are Flakey - 9/20/2008 8:34:16 AM   
HotMistress22


Posts: 58
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtex

quote:

ORIGINAL: HotMistress22



Here is my protocol. I invite him for a cyber date via web cam. I tell him that during the cyber date I will need to see a Drivers License (pic and DL number.), Vehicle registration and a utility bill in their name. With this information (utility bill) I can confirm their name and where they live. With their address and name I can do free public records searches in the county they live in to screen for criminal/civil records etc. With the drivers license info I can check their age and confirm profile pic similarities and with the vehicle registration I can find out the vehicle's make, model, year and license plate number.

Finally to verify this information I ask the potential date to hold up the above-mentioned documentation up close to the web cam until I am able to get the clearest image. The potential date may need to adjust room lighting so that I am able to see numbers etc.

If he had any intentions of not showing up, he would think twice before providing this information to a wonderful lady such as yourself.

If they refuse to give me any of the above information, I DO NOT MEET THEM. They will give many excuses that sound legitimate and even make sense! But I do not allow myself to be swayed by them.



I assume that one of the "excuses" that sounds legitimate and even makes sense is that he doesn't know  you that well and doesn't want to have his identity stolen.  Needless to say you would have lost me at the drivers license check.  I wonder what personality traits you are unintentionally filtering out. 

Maybe I'm over-cautious but I guard my personal information.  In fact I've passed on many opportunities to have millions of dollars transfered into my bank account because I'm afraid to give out my information.

I guess there's not a perfect solution.  The last first-meeting I had was at a munch which is a good way to do it.  But munches aren't for everyone. 
Bill






Most of my online relationships last for at least a month or two before we meet.

I love time. Time tells the story. I can see his walk and not just listen to the talk. I can determine whether he is a person of his word, whether he is consistent and keeps online appointments. Whether he is a true natured submissive or just a three-week fantasy wanker. But most of all I allow enough time to pass to establish a 'trust' for each other.

It is very easy for me to develop an online relationship with someone where we both have sincere feelings for each other and earned trust over that time period. I am a trustworthly person and over time they sense that. They pretty much beg to meet me (I like begging:) and will do anything to do so. 

It has never been a problem 'for me' to have my potential sub 'offer' this information. In a sense they feel that they are protecting me by giving me this information, which I find admirable. In fact, after they give me the information I warn them never to give this information out to anyone else because its just not a smart move in the world we live in..

< Message edited by HotMistress22 -- 9/20/2008 8:42:41 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Boys are Flakey - 9/20/2008 8:45:37 AM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HotMistress22

It has never been a problem 'for me' to have my potential sub 'offer' this information. In a sense they feel that they are protecting me by giving me this information, which I find admirable. In fact, after they give me the information I warn them never to give this information out to anyone else because its just not a smart move in the world we live in..



Perhaps "protective", but personally I consider it stupid to give that sort of information away, let alone to somebody on the internet, so I wouldn't be impressed with someone who does, voluntarily or otherwise.

** Edited to add that I don't use the word "stupid" lightly.

< Message edited by Misstoyou -- 9/20/2008 8:49:10 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Boys are Flakey - 9/20/2008 9:14:05 AM   
HotMistress22


Posts: 58
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline 		Disclaimer:) Btw, the information offered above is not a ‘etch in stone' process. I have friends who's safety tolerance levels are a phone call after a few emails and meet for the weekend and I have others that make subs jump through even more steps than I offer, before they met, in an effort to protect themselves.

You can use all or none of the steps I offered above based on your own risk tolerance levels.

But since the thread is about flaky boys that drift off in cyberspace, for no apparent reason, after a series of intense email exchanges, I make sure my time is not wasted anymore on them by following my protocol to the tee.
Sure I lose many potential subs, Its like searching for the needle in the haystack for me. But I always find the 'perfect' sub in this way. Just takes a little longer. I'm patient.

And I truly care for the safety of others and why I offered the information in the first place.

< Message edited by HotMistress22 -- 9/20/2008 9:21:23 AM >

_____________________________

Come see Me at:
http://www.MistressPlanet.com
Where Dreams Come True.

(in reply to Misstoyou)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Boys are Flakey - 9/20/2008 9:16:41 AM   
HotMistress22


Posts: 58
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline 		guess I need to learn how to post edits. I opps again.

< Message edited by HotMistress22 -- 9/20/2008 9:27:27 AM >

_____________________________

Come see Me at:
http://www.MistressPlanet.com
Where Dreams Come True.

(in reply to HotMistress22)
Profile   Post #: 40
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