Switch becoming more Dominant....

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

Switch becoming more Dominant....

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> Switch becoming more Dominant....

Page: [1]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Switch becoming more Dominant.... - 9/21/2008 8:41:27 AM

Posts: 321
Joined: 8/2/2007
Status: offline

I've always thought of myself as a switch... but now in my relationships, I'm usually more domme, and my partners are subs... which is a lot of fun...

Is anyone else on this trajectory?

_____________________________

"Science is a lot like sex. Sometimes something useful comes of it, but that's not the reason we're doing it." (Richard Feynman)

Blog: http://antidomme.sensualwriter.com

RE: Switch becoming more Dominant.... - 9/25/2008 1:19:39 AM

Posts: 4
Joined: 9/23/2008
Status: offline

Thats exactly how I feel for somewhile....I am much more dominant then feeling as a sub and while I am seekıng for some fun , I mostly look for a slave to torture and districtly obey me ...And I enjoy this very much....I think I am goıng to be a master soon rather then being a switch.....

(in reply to fungasm)

RE: Switch becoming more Dominant.... - 10/6/2008 8:42:59 AM

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/5/2008
Status: offline

In the beginning... I kept hidden under the predict that I was a strict Dominant: I simply was afraid of what others would do to me. Later on I grew more strong and I considered myself to be a sub: I thrusted my Partner completely. But I guess itis against my nature, so I evoluted to a switch, becoming more and more Dominant. That was depending completely on myself: the more I was informed and skilled, the more Dominant I grew.

(in reply to fungasm)

RE: Switch becoming more Dominant.... - 10/16/2008 11:12:50 PM

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/16/2008
Status: offline

I have kinda of always identified as a switch. I started out more submissive, and have slowly grown more and more dominant over time. I've also found myself rejecting some things I was once into - when I was more submissive, but am no longer fond of as I grow more dominant - but that has made room for other interests.
The only issue is that I have a tendancy to be attracted to strong personalities, and as such, I often wind up with people who are also more dominant. It gets complicated.

(in reply to schizofreen)

RE: Switch becoming more Dominant.... - 10/25/2008 8:34:28 AM

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

I'm not sure whether in my case it's a trajectory, more a case of me deciding to 'out' more of me. I'm still predominantly submissive to dominant women and certain dominant men but I do also have a tendency to switch and at times will happily be domme to a male submissive. My formative Mistress in Warsaw taught me to domme and we either shared sessions with some of her better paying subs or she would allow me to have a one on one session with one or two of them. My style retains a sort of Eastern European flavour but even though I'm able to put a male submissive through 'the OWK experience' I'm not sadistic, would never perceive a male submissive as 'worthless' and I am a domme with a small 'd'. It's just for me something of an extension, or another tangent.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to fungasm)

RE: Switch becoming more Dominant.... - 11/15/2008 1:00:20 AM

SupremeGoddess1

Posts: 6
Joined: 3/2/2006
Status: offline

I am a great switch that loves to be Domme and a sub for My Master of 11 months. We are having a great time. I think If you love what you are and nobody is getting hurt who cares what other people thing just have fun with it.

Love SupremeGoddess aka Sir John's pet monie

_____________________________

......... SupremeGoddess

(in reply to fungasm)

RE: Switch becoming more Dominant.... - 1/28/2009 6:42:28 AM

Posts: 69
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaurenDresden

The only issue is that I have a tendancy to be attracted to strong personalities, and as such, I often wind up with people who are also more dominant. It gets complicated.

BDSM has a way of boiling interpersonal relations down in a way. Not to say they necessarily become simpler, but much of the time
they at least appear to. It's statements like yours that kind of confirm my suspicions that this is one of the major points of appeal in
BDSM. I ask myself, however, what in life isn't complicated, or more specifically, what human relations don't have tendency to become
hierarchical? I think that's why you see Domme/Dom couples who keep subs and things of that nature. To me that's more "complicated"
but also more...interesting :)

(in reply to LaurenDresden)

RE: Switch becoming more Dominant.... - 2/3/2009 12:46:14 AM

Posts: 15
Joined: 6/3/2008
Status: offline

I started out as submissive, totally freaked out by the idea of being even a little dominant. Then I got some experience as a dom and started to identify as a switch, and yeah, lately I am almost all about the topping. I think for me it was a progression of getting more comfortable with myself, and with the side of the lifestyle that seemed less "acceptable" to me when I started out. I still want to submit sometimes, but my top side is much stronger these days.

(in reply to TheInstrument)

RE: Switch becoming more Dominant.... - 2/6/2009 7:00:25 AM

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/4/2009
Status: offline

I'm a switch with my hubby and a dominatrix with others but sometimes I am a submissive to women dominants. I love to be in both worlds.

(in reply to fungasm)

RE: Switch becoming more Dominant.... - 2/6/2009 2:16:11 PM

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/23/2008
Status: offline

I am in the samething right now. I use to always be a sub. Then my Mistress wanted to submit a couple of times. Then it became are new roles as i being the DOM and her the sub.

(in reply to goddessdolly09)

RE: Switch becoming more Dominant.... - 3/11/2009 7:45:42 AM

Posts: 126
Joined: 5/31/2008
Status: offline

i am fortunate..i have always known i am a submissive...i cannot imagine engaging in a relationship not knowing who i am and what i bring to the table!
have a good day !
ree!

(in reply to fungasm)

RE: Switch becoming more Dominant.... - 3/12/2009 7:04:44 AM

Posts: 55
Joined: 6/24/2007
Status: offline

I often rewrite my profile due to the fact I'm still figuring things out. I was in the submissive roll in my last long term relationship. It's what he wanted and what I thought I wanted and needed at the time. I gave all my power away because I trusted him. He turned out to be an immature sociopath that used all my weaknesses against me and took advantage of me (Go figure!)... even became abusive. I finally took control of my life and am beginning to form my identity again, as a domme, but I am open to try I guess. If the man was mature enough and there were clear personal boundaries... it could work I guess. I didn't mind sacrificing... didn't mind the domestic duties.. just missed having a voice. Of course I was majorally lacking in self esteem... it could have turned out differently if I wasn't? Maybe. I like knowing that possibility is there and I know I will always have it. There are some theorists who say that a woman will choose a husband/be attracted to men who are just like their father. My father is and always will be my foundation. He taught me what a "real" man is all about. My mother adores my father and vice versa, they have been together for over 50 years. They are each other's best friend. Does my mom submit to my father, hell yeah! Does my dad submit to my mom, hell yeah! And so they tell me that's the key to a successful relationship/marriage. Maybe having both sides a part of a rl is a good idea.

(in reply to blackeagle58)

RE: Switch becoming more Dominant.... - 6/30/2009 6:34:42 PM

Posts: 15
Joined: 4/28/2007
Status: offline

I'm currently dom only but want to find a sub side as I am in fantasy but not in real life. I'm not into being ordered and such but if I was in a relationship where I could still have my dom time but she brought out a sub side that she made me want more often and she was dom more than she was sub then I would be ok with that. I think that so long as both sides are happy with the way its split up then it doesn't matter who is dom or sub more often. Then again this is new fantasy to me so its more strong than the same-o same-o so I do like the idea of the person getting me to want to be sub more. I do fantasizes about a woman pushing me as far and yet slow and gentle to the point that I need it and maybe she loans me out as a sub to her male and female friends. Its such a turn on to me to think that the woman I am with wants to drive me deeper into being a sub that needs it more and more and to turn that need to something so strong where it controls me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: fungasm

I've always thought of myself as a switch... but now in my relationships, I'm usually more domme, and my partners are subs... which is a lot of fun...

Is anyone else on this trajectory?

(in reply to fungasm)

RE: Switch becoming more Dominant.... - 7/3/2009 8:09:14 PM

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fungasm

I've always thought of myself as a switch... but now in my relationships, I'm usually more domme, and my partners are subs... which is a lot of fun...

Is anyone else on this trajectory?

this is why i'm very mindful of who i become involved with. if my dominant side surpasses theirs it won't work. i generally look for certain things and an ability for this person's dominance to resonate with my submission. in this way i'm not working to maintain my place, but the connection and exchange flows harmoniously instead.

i have been in circumstances where i wasn't the dominant party but it sure felt like i was! those were not the most pleasant experiences, but i learned a lot from them.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to fungasm)

RE: Switch becoming more Dominant.... - 7/7/2009 1:07:40 PM

Posts: 11
Joined: 1/5/2009
Status: offline

My boyfriend has always told me he is switch and he prefers bottom, but he can play both roles. I guess with me I don't have a domme bone in my body, he has become more top than anything else. He says he dosen't mind at all. I tend to wonder though if I am truly satisfying him, he hasn't said otherwise.

(in reply to porcelaine)

RE: Switch becoming more Dominant.... - 7/18/2009 6:15:04 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: punkishone

My boyfriend has always told me he is switch and he prefers bottom, but he can play both roles. I guess with me I don't have a domme bone in my body, he has become more top than anything else. He says he dosen't mind at all. I tend to wonder though if I am truly satisfying him, he hasn't said otherwise.

For me, I'm not sure if I should change my role to "switch". To me, bottoming is like receiving anal sex. It's rare that I want it, but I enjoy it on rare occasions. Most of the time, I don't really care for it. And taking on a submissive role can be downright repulsive to me. I just like to bottom on occasion. In general, taking the Dominant role is more of a turn-on for me. So I don't know if I should change my profile to say "switch" or just leave it as "Domme".

I'm tired so sorry that my comment is muddled.

(in reply to punkishone)

RE: Switch becoming more Dominant.... - 7/23/2009 9:57:31 PM

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

I went the more dominant route for a while, and I found that I missed bottoming. I've found that if I let myself go too far into one realm or the other, that is the way people end up seeing me and it becomes harder to reconnect with the side of me I've neglected, for lack of a better word. Such is life. People evolve. If you are finding you enjoy one role more than the other, flow with it and see where it takes you. There is no pressure to have set labels.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to fungasm)

RE: Switch becoming more Dominant.... - 7/24/2009 8:52:35 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there was a woman in my life that inspired insane amounts of lust in me. And, some of the things we did were kinky, and my part in them would fall under the category of bottoming. However, I had never heard of this label, so I eventually picked the tag of "submissive" instead.

It wasn't long before I realized this was a wildly inaccurate thing to call myself.

So, I tried to figure things out. Read, watched, and learned.

Long story short: I "became" a switch. Kept learning. Saw that dominance was something that extended beyond the bedroom, into every corner of my life, and that the bottoming was simply a sexual kink, a way to occasionally get my ya-yas out. That trajectory has never changed, nor will it.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)

Page: [1]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> Switch becoming more Dominant....

Page: [1]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.297