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The silent passage from sub to slave. - 12/2/2005 4:19:40 PM

bear372217355

Posts: 94
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

When we first began learning about and researching this lifestyle just under a year ago, i felt i was better suited to be mi'Lady's 'submissive'. i could never have seen myself as a slave. Being bent to the will of another, completely, just didn't seem to be in me.

At first mi'Lady and i were content with just the D/s relationship, behind closed doors and me in my collar. Mi'Lady began to miss being taken as apposed to served, and at times wanted me to be the dominant one. This no longer felt right to me, but i did as i was asked.

Mi'Lady conciders herself a switch, but i will always submit to mi'Lady. Her desires are my desires her limits are my limits. i had givin up all control to her behind closed doors. So, was i still a sub?

When mi'Lady bites my ear because i've not done what she asks correctly, i instinctively dropped in submission. No thought, i just felt smaller then her in an instant. If she were to tell me to do anything at all, i would obey her witout question.

All this made me wonder. Am i a sub or her slave?

We talked about it. Mi'Lady loves the attention and the power she has over me. As dominant as i may be out in r/l, i feel i am a slave to mi'Lady. i am here for her pleasure and use. It makes mi'Lady feel more comfortable for me to be and feel this way. Many of mi'Lady's fears are eased now that she has total control over me.

Mi'Lady even went so far as to register me as her property. Much to my delite. With all this, i am still pondering, was i ever a sub, or was i always her slave? If i was sumissive at first, is it common for a relationship to evolve in to one such as this? Do some subs make this transition on their own? Or am i merely over anylizing a good thing?

_____________________________

Collared, caged and the sole property of Lady Elizabeth.

Post #: 1

RE: The silent passage from sub to slave. - 12/2/2005 4:44:02 PM

ginawithaB

Posts: 141
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

Sounds as if you have completely submitted your will to hers...so yes, i would say you are a slave...if she has accepted you as such, then you are her slave...and you probably always were but needed time to transition into your slave "skin," if you will. If you are happy, more power to you. I wish you and your Lady all the best.

gina

(in reply to bear372217355)

Post #: 2

RE: The silent passage from sub to slave. - 12/2/2005 4:44:25 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Mi'Lady even went so far as to register me as her property. Much to my delite. With all this, i am still pondering, was i ever a sub, or was i always her slave? If i was sumissive at first, is it common for a relationship to evolve in to one such as this? Do some subs make this transition on their own? Or am i merely over anylizing a good thing?

Does it matter as long as the both of you are happy? Why not ask her I'm sure she can give you the answer you are seeking.

(in reply to bear372217355)

Post #: 3

RE: The silent passage from sub to slave. - 12/2/2005 5:02:25 PM

comesoncommand

Posts: 78
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

i received this in an email from my Master when W/we first began chatting... i don't know the author to give proper credit, or else i certainly would...perhaps this will help...

Submissive, is a title, and is not a "slave",
but an individual that chooses when, where, and how she
will display her submission. This display takes the form
of her submitting herself to the command of another, accepting
that person's conditional domination over her as
a matter of choice and preference, while retaining her
personal control. Limits to this domination are declared,
and negotiated with her dominant before the time of submission,
with the participants held to them during any "play."
In this way the submissive is the one truly in control of
the relationship, with a pretend or limited form of control
being given to the "Master" after certain conditions
have been agreed to and met. This illusory passing of control
lasts only for the duration of the given session, or until
the submissive decides she wishes to retract it, and is
often dependent upon the use of toys and settings to create
a "mood" which helps make the chosen role of
each feel more real, and the overall fantasy more believable.
Usually this session occurs as some type of sexual situation,
with submission itself being a sexual act that is based
upon a particular form of fetish in which the female wants
to be temporarily subject to the will of the chosen, participating
male. Inequality in this sense is controlled, and limited
to a given setting that is used for sexual fulfillment of
some kind, with the power exchange being a form of foreplay.
This exchange of power could even be extreme, with the one
so submitting or complying with anything she is ordered
to do while assuming her submissive role, but this is done
for the sake of stimulation, fulfillment of a fantasy,
and resulting sexual release. The subject's control
in itself, no matter how extreme the related actions may
be, is not truly abandoned for even in submitting to a command
she is only doing so for an agreed to period of time, on her
own terms, and as part of her assumed role.

(in reply to bear372217355)

Post #: 4

RE: The silent passage from sub to slave. - 12/2/2005 5:30:57 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Since there's no clear definition of either sub or slave, the good news is that only you can decide whether you are either one or if you have somehow changed status.

Course some people don't consider that good news.

(in reply to bear372217355)

Post #: 5

RE: The silent passage from sub to slave. - 12/2/2005 9:01:06 PM

LilWhiteWolf

Posts: 58
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: comesoncommand

quote:

In this way the submissive is the one truly in control of
the relationship, with a pretend or limited form of control
being given to the "Master" after certain conditions
have been agreed to and met. This illusory passing of control
lasts only for the duration of the given session, or until
the submissive decides she wishes to retract it, and is
often dependent upon the use of toys and settings to create
a "mood" which helps make the chosen role of
each feel more real, and the overall fantasy more believable.

Well this is back to the submissive vs slave debate so why do i feel compelled to express myself ? i guess because i am a submissive and i feel the quote above (which i know is just someone's own personal opinion) is totally inaccurate. i was with my Dominant for 4 yrs, 24/7 and none of that was even remotely applicable to us. the more i read it, the more i realize just one thing....although you submitted that to "help" bear, i just think it lent more confusion to something that should be soooo simple! slaves, submissives, bottoms...just names and labels that tend to confuse this beautiful lifestyle
humbly submitted by the rebel sub

(in reply to comesoncommand)

Post #: 6

RE: The silent passage from sub to slave. - 12/3/2005 9:35:54 AM

ginawithaB

Posts: 141
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

yeah, you know, I've only been exploring the life for a few months now and in this brief time I think I've pretty much heard all the arguments thereto...and am pretty much filled up to my gizzard with it all...but...I just don't think that it's ever quite so simple as saying it's just about "names and labels." It's qualitatively much more than that for so many...esp. for those of us who feel both a strong desire, (which is actually too weak a word to decribe what I mean) to totally submit and a strong desire to accept the word "slave" into their hearts and minds while also rebelling against the word.

For me personally, I have not totally accepted the term "slave" for myself, even though that is how I feel and that is what I strive for. Submissive, is simply not a strong enough term for what I feel inside of me...and bottom can't even begin to touch me. Nothing wrong with those terms...but my psyche, my mind and my soul needs more of what the connotation of "slave" delivers. "Slave" can never be just a name or label because of the meaning it carries with it. The word packs more of a punch than the words "bottom" and "submissive"...and that, ulitimately, is why I believe the debate continues. And is why ppl strive to quantify each term into levels of submissiveness. And quantifying can only serve as a general guide...each individual must come to "terms" with themselves in their own time and in their own way(s).

peace,

gina

(in reply to LilWhiteWolf)

Post #: 7

RE: The silent passage from sub to slave. - 12/3/2005 12:08:42 PM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline

you are who she wants you to be...labels are only that...labels...sub, slave, property, prize, pet, slut, bitch, man, whore..... why try to define what you are to each other by someone's standards?

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to bear372217355)

Post #: 8

RE: The silent passage from sub to slave. - 12/3/2005 2:08:26 PM

SoulBelow

Posts: 30
Joined: 11/8/2005
Status: offline

I have spoken with my master about this many times. He sat me down and asked me if I had any limits. Is there anything I wouldn't do for him. I said no. The reason being I am happiest when I'm pleasing him and I trust him completely. I don't think he'd ever hurt me or push me too far but even if he did I would obey and I would feel happy that I was obeying and being a good girl even if it was hard. I realised that he could push me into anything and I would be powerless to look him in the eye and say no. For me half of it is about struggle. I like to be challenged. It turns me on to be challenged. Thats when I realised that I was a slave and not a submissive.

(in reply to LilWhiteWolf)

Post #: 9

RE: The silent passage from sub to slave. - 1/16/2006 3:02:09 AM

subiekitty

Posts: 34
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

To Master i am still Her sub. In my heart i think i am her slave. i think this because i feel i belong to her, and i desire to have the feeling of her control grow. i want to reach a point where any resistance part of my may generate is gone, and there is only a loving adoration and a sense of shelter and fullfillment in pleasing Master.

i admit i have a way to go before this is realized, and Master has praised me by telling me She has seen it in me, and knows its in my heart. So wherever the line is i have faith we will cross it in time.

Rebecca - slave in training

(in reply to SoulBelow)

Post #: 10

RE: The silent passage from sub to slave. - 1/16/2006 3:28:00 AM

sweetpettjenny

Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

i am Masters submissive, pett, slave or whatever he wishes of me...its a title, we are to each other whatever we choose.

(in reply to bear372217355)

Post #: 11

RE: The silent passage from sub to slave. - 1/16/2006 6:25:53 PM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

i wouldn't worry about it,if it works don't fix it
i was never a sub...i went from Top to a slave(and a Gorean one at that

), in one very unsmooth jump.....

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to bear372217355)

Post #: 12

RE: The silent passage from sub to slave. - 1/16/2006 8:50:49 PM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

only YOU know.........

i kinda envy you........

i sense great joy in this post.

i often times wish..i knew that word......

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to bear372217355)

Post #: 13

RE: The silent passage from sub to slave. - 1/17/2006 8:35:57 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

It is your depth of submission that allowed Her to enslave you.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to bear372217355)

Post #: 14

RE: The silent passage from sub to slave. - 1/17/2006 7:46:58 PM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline

Like others here I don't like labels. Especially on myself. I'm a woman and I like to be flexible.

I really don't care if I am his submissive, slave or little girl. Just as long as I am his, I will be happy and content.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 15

RE: The silent passage from sub to slave. - 1/21/2006 12:32:42 AM

subiekitty

Posts: 34
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub

to a slave(and a Gorean one at that), in one very unsmooth jump.....

Ohh i wish my Master did not have such disdain for Gor, you are a lucky Kajira indeed

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 16

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