Looking for safe call (Full Version)

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moonvine -> Looking for safe call (10/4/2008 11:44:13 PM)

I don't really know anyone around here.  I remember years ago there used to be some sort of national safe call network thingie, does anyone know if it is still around?  Or anyone in Austin, TX know if there is one here?

Thanks!




wandersalone -> RE: Looking for safe call (10/5/2008 3:08:54 AM)

Sorry I don't know about the safe call thing over there however could you let one of your friends know that you are meeting someone and without giving too many details ask them to make a couple of calls to you while you are out?  My mates are vanilla however given that internet dating sites are so prevalent none of them batted an eyelash at being asked to do this.

Have fun. [:)]




CalifChick -> RE: Looking for safe call (10/5/2008 10:49:16 AM)

There is a yahoo group for national safecall... it's extremely low traffic.  http://groups.yahoo.com/group/safecall/ 


Cali




tasha_tart -> RE: Looking for safe call (10/5/2008 10:57:56 AM)

Not to be facetious, but how about a friend or relative from outside the area?

And...just to be difficult...I stumbled across this, on the value of safe calls. 

Tasha




sub4hire -> RE: Looking for safe call (10/5/2008 12:14:33 PM)

Everyone gave you excellent advice.  For the future you should get involved in at least one of the man Austin groups there are.
Then you won't ever have to worry again about a safe call.





moonvine -> RE: Looking for safe call (10/5/2008 1:39:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

Everyone gave you excellent advice.  For the future you should get involved in at least one of the man Austin groups there are.
Then you won't ever have to worry again about a safe call.




Well, I go to a munch about once a year and they always ask if I am new.  I guess that doesn't count as "involved."   I'm just not a group person.




moonvine -> RE: Looking for safe call (10/5/2008 1:44:02 PM)

Thanks for the advice, all!




LadyPact -> RE: Looking for safe call (10/5/2008 2:04:32 PM)

This is just a thought.  Have you contacted one of the local groups in Austin to see if someone would be willing to be your safe call person while in town?




GreedyTop -> RE: Looking for safe call (10/5/2008 5:12:30 PM)

great link Tasha :)




apiercedkitty -> RE: Looking for safe call (10/5/2008 5:35:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

great link Tasha :)


i agree. OP, let me give you a scenario... a woman had been chatting online with a Dom from out of state for a couple of months... they exchanged phone numbers and some personal info, blah, blah, blah. He wants to meet. More specifically, He wants to fly her to  His state to meet. She calls and asks a friend's opinion. The friend tells her she's crazy - how is anyone supposed to help keep her safe when she's 1500 miles away? She decides to go anyway - gets the guy to email her a copy of His driver's license (for whatever good that's going to be). She tells the friend she'll call at X time and X time. She's only going to be gone a day - she's flying in and out the same day. Well, the first time X comes and goes - what the HELL is the friend that's waiting for the call supposed to do??? Yeah - i agree, safe calls are giving someone a false sense of security.




Alumbrado -> RE: Looking for safe call (10/5/2008 5:52:36 PM)

That isn't what a safe call is. 
A safe call is when my friend tells the guy that she will meet him at a certain place at a certain time, and I am just around the corner, waiting for her to call regularly and say she is still OK while they talk...then they leave separately. 

Yes, some Hannibal Lechter type super-predator could have already rendered her zombie like with invisible mist from a rare South American potion, and smuggled a battery powered surgical saw into the restaurant to carry the pieces of her body out through the tunnel he dug beneath their table 3 days earlier, and I wouldn't be able to help her...

Get real people, precautions minimize risk, they don't make things risk free.... anyone who advises against taking precautions because they aren't 100% guaranteed, isn't on your side.




GreedyTop -> RE: Looking for safe call (10/5/2008 5:59:00 PM)

I don't think anyone HAS said not to take precautions, Al..




Alumbrado -> RE: Looking for safe call (10/5/2008 5:59:58 PM)

Scroll up.


quote:

  
After a few of these types of calls, they are treated, by the police, much like the little boy who cried wolf!
I ask for a third time, How does this keep Wendy safe?
The cold hard answer is "IT DOESN'T"! 
Safe calls do absolutely nothing to keep people safe! They may however aid the police department after they find your dismembered body stuffed in a trash can in getting a conviction. Knowing personal information about the last person known to have seen a victim is a good lead. It helps a lot, and Law Enforcement needs all our help! It does nothing at all to keep poor Wendy safe! What it does, is gives her a false sense of security. It leads her to the illusion that she is safe. It empowers her to decide to meet a stranger because her girl friend or the Safe Call Network has his particulars, and hers! But she is NOT at all SAFE



quote:

  Yeah - i agree, safe calls are giving someone a false sense of security.




Both of those are using the 'false sense of security' label, which is commonly understood as meaning not to bother with it.




apiercedkitty -> RE: Looking for safe call (10/5/2008 6:24:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

That isn't what a safe call is. 
A safe call is when my friend tells the guy that she will meet him at a certain place at a certain time, and I am just around the corner, waiting for her to call regularly and say she is still OK while they talk...then they leave separately. 

Yes, some Hannibal Lechter type super-predator could have already rendered her zombie like with invisible mist from a rare South American potion, and smuggled a battery powered surgical saw into the restaurant to carry the pieces of her body out through the tunnel he dug beneath their table 3 days earlier, and I wouldn't be able to help her...

Get real people, precautions minimize risk, they don't make things risk free.... anyone who advises against taking precautions because they aren't 100% guaranteed, isn't on your side.


Did ya miss the OP saying she "doesn't really know anyone around here?"
That was what i was referring to and, just a question... when you're the safe call, does the person REALLY interrupt their conversation to call you? And, if so, does she leave the person she's sitting with or does she do it in front of him? And, how long after she was supposed to call do you go looking. And, if you went looking and she wasn't there, what would you do? i'm just sayin here. You don't think a smooth talking guy has ever gotten a woman into his car?
i never said don't take any risks. If i had, i might have suggested she invite him to her house in the secluded wilderness. Don't try to put words in my mouth please.




apiercedkitty -> RE: Looking for safe call (10/5/2008 6:25:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

Both of those are using the 'false sense of security' label, which is commonly understood as meaning not to bother with it.


Commonly understood by whom, exactly?




CookieSlave -> RE: Looking for safe call (10/5/2008 6:38:26 PM)

I don't think anyone's said "don't use a safe call."  I think the implication is "be realistic".  A safe call isn't a 100% guarantee of safety, but it IS a precaution that can be taken.  The fact is, the best thing you can do is *be smart*, however that means you need to do it - take a friend, use a safe call, meet in public, blahblahblah.  These are all good things,  I don't think anyone's saying they aren't, but there are no guarantees.

Since I can't live in a sheltered little hole secluded from and scared by the world, I also trust my instincts and deal with each situation accordingly.  So far, I've been pretty good at making those judgement calls.  I know, I know, it only takes 1 "mistake" but .. I have to look at the whole picture in each individual situation and be smart, and I can't live life afraid of people!

Being safe and cautious doesn't mean I need to assume that everyone I'm going to potentially meet - whether online or off -  is a psycho murderer, or a stalker, or a rapist. I mean, really, these safety precautions are no different if you meet someone over the internet or at your local neighboorhood bar, so I try to temper my paranoia and keep an intelligent perspective on things.

--cs




GreedyTop -> RE: Looking for safe call (10/5/2008 6:45:05 PM)

well said, Cookie




juliaoceania -> RE: Looking for safe call (10/5/2008 7:29:57 PM)

Here is the value of a "safe call". A safe call lets the person that you meet know that you will be calling others to check in. It lets your "date" know that these people may call you too. I used my mother (local) and my best friend (Georgia) as two safe calls. I did this so that the person I was out with would know that he could not silence both of my safe calls. There is no one whom I would trust more than my mother to be my safe call. It may not prevent something from happening to you, but it damn sure helps if the police have to go look for a body if your safe call has a physical description, the person's phone number, make and model and license number... and yes, I gave this all to my mother.




moonvine -> RE: Looking for safe call (10/5/2008 8:51:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: apiercedkitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

That isn't what a safe call is. 
A safe call is when my friend tells the guy that she will meet him at a certain place at a certain time, and I am just around the corner, waiting for her to call regularly and say she is still OK while they talk...then they leave separately. 

Yes, some Hannibal Lechter type super-predator could have already rendered her zombie like with invisible mist from a rare South American potion, and smuggled a battery powered surgical saw into the restaurant to carry the pieces of her body out through the tunnel he dug beneath their table 3 days earlier, and I wouldn't be able to help her...

Get real people, precautions minimize risk, they don't make things risk free.... anyone who advises against taking precautions because they aren't 100% guaranteed, isn't on your side.


Did ya miss the OP saying she "doesn't really know anyone around here?"
That was what i was referring to and, just a question... when you're the safe call, does the person REALLY interrupt their conversation to call you? And, if so, does she leave the person she's sitting with or does she do it in front of him? And, how long after she was supposed to call do you go looking. And, if you went looking and she wasn't there, what would you do? i'm just sayin here. You don't think a smooth talking guy has ever gotten a woman into his car?
i never said don't take any risks. If i had, i might have suggested she invite him to her house in the secluded wilderness. Don't try to put words in my mouth please.


Well, we're not meeting here anyway.   We're meeting in Dallas, and I really know 0 people in Dallas.  I suppose the safest thing I could do is bring a vanilla friend with me (I have lots of those) but I'm not sure how to explain to her why she needs to accompany me on a "date".:)

I do think the chances of him overpowering both of us and hauling both of us away from a restaurant without anyone noticing would be pretty slim, but we might not get to know each other too well that way either.

Am I completely overthinking this?  I haven't done this in about 3 years.




Lynnxz -> RE: Looking for safe call (10/5/2008 8:57:17 PM)

My safe call is 'a large angry man will come bursting though this door if I do not answer his calls'

I don't place too much confidence someone calling the cops, or someone less intimidating. If you want to bring along a vanilla friend, just make her bring someone along and call it a double date. ^_^ You don't have to sit at the same table at the restraunt do you? (Do you? I have never gone on a double)

Just be careful, and have fun. :)




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