RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... (Full Version)

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DesFIP -> RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... (10/11/2008 10:15:07 AM)

I think it's 25 posts to get rid of the cone. But I agree with you that the second cone ought to be chocolate, third level double dip, then a sundae and so on. Can you tell I'm hungry?



amaidiamond -> RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... (10/16/2008 4:56:39 PM)

OP - did YOU have a safe call?

In regards to meeting to soon - I'd say one persons idea of too soon is anothers idea of not fast enough.

I meet when it feels right - some from this site i have met in days - others i have chatted to for ages an d met by chance at a munch/market but not by intention.



HiroProtagonist -> RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... (10/18/2008 1:51:53 AM)

I completely agree with all the posts that say BOTH parties of a first meet need to do the safety things. I would add one thing I have heard elsewhere that I really like.

As the dominant one, a Dom/Domme/Top/Master (fill in with title of choice) should make sure the sub/bottom/(potential)slave understands and follows a set of safety rules for first meetings, relationship progression, etc. A sub/bottom/slave should expect these sorts of directions, especially before a first meeting.

Not original with me, but I liked it instantly when I first heard it and I have incorporated it.

Hiro



CalifChick -> RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... (10/20/2008 11:28:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HiroProtagonist
As the dominant one, a Dom/Domme/Top/Master (fill in with title of choice) should make sure the sub/bottom/(potential)slave understands and follows a set of safety rules for first meetings, relationship progression, etc. A sub/bottom/slave should expect these sorts of directions, especially before a first meeting.


First thought:  So the domly one is wise and all-knowing and I, the subbly one, is stupid?  The domly one knows safety rules and I don't?  [sm=poke.gif]


Second thought:  I should say that I tend to chafe at anything that has the word "should" in it.  [;)]

I don't expect those sorts of directions, and my gut reaction is, if you need to be given a set of safety rules by the person you're meeting, then perhaps you shouldn't meet anyone until you can figure out for yourself what it takes for you to feel safe.  Seriously... if you're meeting someone who is not safe, what are their safety rules going to be?  "Leave your cell phone at home"... ?? 

Each person, on either side of the slash, should develop their OWN criteria for first meets (even if that criteria is "the criteria changes with each situation") and not rely on someone else for those criteria.


Cali





PeonForHer -> RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... (10/20/2008 12:13:52 PM)

I got warned recently - by a Domme - that a male sub can put himself in a dangerous situation like this with a woman too, Manxcat.  Obviously, he can end up being in a position where he can be relieved of his wallet and being unable to do anything about it - but it strikes me that even worse could, conceivably, happen. 

In fact my suspicion is that if a woman does cut up over-rough with a male sub who's in a vulnerable position, there's a high chance it'll never become public knowledge.  Obvious reasons for that.



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