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What does a collar mean? - 12/6/2005 8:15:19 PM   
Ilenecynthia


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/2/2005
From: San Jose Ca
Status: offline
I am wondering what being collared means to people in the community? Is it just a form of jewelry like a wedding ring or does it have as many meanings as there are people wearing them?
Thanks for any insights
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RE: What does a collar mean? - 12/6/2005 8:20:27 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I am wondering what being collared means to people in the community? Is it just a form of jewelry like a wedding ring or does it have as many meanings as there are people wearing them?


I think it has many meanings to many different people.

For me a wedding ring is not just another piece of jewelry. It is a committment. A bond that should not be broken for anything. However, if something were to happen to break the bond...then you get a divorce.
For me a collar is a stronger bond than the wedding ring. Once it goes on it doesn't come off even in death. You have made the decision to be with this person the rest of your life. No turning back. No changing your mind, so it must be a very well thought out decision.
That is what a collar means to me.

(in reply to Ilenecynthia)
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RE: What does a collar mean? - 12/6/2005 8:40:19 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It's a symbol, it means whatever the heck you want it to mean and doesn't mean whatever the heck you don't want it to mean.

(in reply to Ilenecynthia)
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RE: What does a collar mean? - 12/6/2005 9:46:28 PM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		Depends on who you ask. Symbols have different meanings to different people.

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~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to Ilenecynthia)
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RE: What does a collar mean? - 12/6/2005 9:52:29 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		A collar is a fetish object to me, that turns me on.

It's also a visible symbol of the type of relationship I prefer and am currently invovled in that is designed to identify me to others with similar intersts.


_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to Cloudz)
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RE: What does a collar mean? - 12/7/2005 12:15:25 AM   
MasterFerdinand


Posts: 59
Joined: 11/30/2005
From: Hell, or Texas...whichever...
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

quote:

I am wondering what being collared means to people in the community? Is it just a form of jewelry like a wedding ring or does it have as many meanings as there are people wearing them?


I think it has many meanings to many different people.

For me a wedding ring is not just another piece of jewelry. It is a committment. A bond that should not be broken for anything. However, if something were to happen to break the bond...then you get a divorce.
For me a collar is a stronger bond than the wedding ring. Once it goes on it doesn't come off even in death. You have made the decision to be with this person the rest of your life. No turning back. No changing your mind, so it must be a very well thought out decision.
That is what a collar means to me.



A collar, accepted willingly by a slave, placed by her Master symbolizes the bond of Ownership. As long as she wears it, she is aware that she is owned, and she can't slip it off, like a wedding ring. It represents the strongest of mental bonds, the most powerful oath Y/you can take. He has Mastery over her, but also Ultimate responsibility. she willingly accepts that she no longer has the right to make decisions for herself.
Awedding ring however represents a bond of partnership, not Ownership, and can easily be slipped off, or ignored. I think the collar represents the most intimate Bond Y/you can have.

_____________________________

Everyone seems normal, until you get to know them

(in reply to sub4hire)
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RE: What does a collar mean? - 12/7/2005 12:17:52 AM   
MasterFerdinand


Posts: 59
Joined: 11/30/2005
From: Hell, or Texas...whichever...
Status: offline 		BTW, I forgot to mention, My slave wears a public (non-conspicous) collar all the time, and a private collar for play.

_____________________________

Everyone seems normal, until you get to know them

(in reply to MasterFerdinand)
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RE: What does a collar mean? - 12/7/2005 3:48:08 AM   
kitia1


Posts: 8
Joined: 11/22/2005
Status: offline 		For me a collar represents the moment of giving myself fully to my Mistress until the death of myself or my Mistress. It has very strong meaning to me and is not something i could ever take lightly.

Though i fully accept that to some it's meaning is very different and that is fine as well. For me who sees their role to be that of a slave, it will be, as others have already said, a permanent sign of that bond and it cannot be given back.

(in reply to MasterFerdinand)
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RE: What does a collar mean? - 12/7/2005 4:20:46 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		It is a symbol of a relationship.
It is not a wedding ring. That is an entirely different, legal committment.

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- Albert Einstein

(in reply to kitia1)
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RE: What does a collar mean? - 12/7/2005 4:45:01 AM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline 		True, it is a symbol, but one that can elicit powerful feelings in both parties. The simple act of her putting the leather with the ring on front around her neck for a scene can work wonders.

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For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: What does a collar mean? - 12/7/2005 5:02:59 AM   
fldrkhorse


Posts: 158
Joined: 11/5/2005
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		The collar is a fascinating topic among those serious in this lifestyle. It is every slaves goal to earn a collar because it symbolizes everything they strive to achieve. Whatever the need; to be loved, needed, wanted, abused, validated, etc, is represented by the collar. It signifies to the slave their need(s) will be met. That is why it can be completely demoralizing for a slave after they invest emotional time and energy into a Master only to find the need not met. The last thing any slave wants to feel is failure. The collar takes commitment farther than that of a conventional wedding ring. With the collar the slave commits all that they are, mind, body, and soul. The slave not only commits to love, honor, and obey, but also offers the very core of their being in service for the pleasure and honor of the Master. By comparison, a wedding ring encompasses a finger, a collar encompasses the soul. To be collared should be considered a lifetime commitment.

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Namaste, I honor the divine in you

(in reply to Ilenecynthia)
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RE: What does a collar mean? - 12/7/2005 5:19:15 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I find today that with the advent of online, the meaning of the collar in a relationship has lost much of its meaning, Dom/mes are to fast to the "kneel before Me syndrome" and subs too fast to seek the collar----this is a sign that so many are lost and seeking some connection to a community--albeit perhaps the wrong one--

To Me, a collar is very serious, stronger than marriage, with its varying stages of commitment--I have recently extended My Collar of Consideration--meaning I have committed to focus on him alone as we investigate, I ask the same of him--but I say as sub4hire says---stronger than marriage----and being somewhat old fashioned, I use the three formal levels of collaring--

now given that-- I insist in a collar for play or scenes, its hot, meaningful, hot, brings about the visual meaning of the dynamic--and did I say its hot??


< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 12/7/2005 5:27:39 AM >

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Mistress Hathor


(in reply to Ilenecynthia)
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RE: What does a collar mean? - 12/7/2005 5:25:21 AM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline 		I have a collar for play but I don't wear an actual "collar" or any sort of neck ornament to signify my commitment to Master. Instead I wear His promise ring and we are going to be married next year. He will also have a ring when we have the ceremony.

(in reply to MHOO314)
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RE: What does a collar mean? - 12/7/2005 5:59:02 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFerdinand
Awedding ring however represents a bond of partnership, not Ownership, and can easily be slipped off, or ignored. I think the collar represents the most intimate Bond Y/you can have.

Well I think you're wrong. D/s relationships are no more or less intimate than vanilla relationships.

Now for YOU obviously a Ds relationship is more intimate than a vanilla relationship.

But that's hardly the same thing as saying an entire relationship TYPE is more intimate than another. And to suggest that everyone who wears a collar does so with forethought and difficulty taking off and everyone who wears a wedding ring does so easily with no problem taking off is not only completely false but fairly insulting to a lot of people who get married.

And I will also add that a LOT of people in Ds get married.

(in reply to MasterFerdinand)
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RE: What does a collar mean? - 12/7/2005 8:43:54 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross




And I will also add that a LOT of people in Ds get married.



That's My hope. wedding followed by collaring--so romantic I think imho--smiles

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: What does a collar mean? - 12/7/2005 9:19:35 AM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFerdinand]A collar, accepted willingly by a slave, placed by her Master symbolizes the bond of Ownership. As long as she wears it, she is aware that she is owned, and she can't slip it off, like a wedding ring. It represents the strongest of mental bonds, the most powerful oath Y/you can take. He has Mastery over her, but also Ultimate responsibility. she willingly accepts that she no longer has the right to make decisions for herself.
Awedding ring however represents a bond of partnership, not Ownership, and can easily be slipped off, or ignored. I think the collar represents the most intimate Bond Y/you can have.


That is how we think of it too. I can't wait till we're together and we sign our contract and he puts the collar around my neck. I will wear this collar for one year. At that time we will decide if we want it to be permanant and then we will have a new collar made for me and a ceremony. We like the rituals of doing these things that will have meaning for us.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to MasterFerdinand)
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RE: What does a collar mean? - 12/7/2005 10:08:21 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ilenecynthia


I am wondering what being collared means to people in the community? Is it just a form of jewelry like a wedding ring or does it have as many meanings as there are people wearing them?
Thanks for any insights



Collars like wedding rings are symbols of committment. The only difference been the symbolism of a wedding ring is defined by the society we live in, it's pretty cut and dried to think ... I will marry you was the intention of someone when they first placed it on a finger ... with that notion of marriage comes a set number of basic ideas or ideaology.. ie getting married because we are in love, get married to have a family, get married for convenience, married because it was expected of them as a couple, get married because a child is on the way...although the basic premiss of 'committment' is there, it is the individuals in the relationship that set the intention behind the act (of marrying). .. then there are the things to consider like ...how long is committment? How long is a piece of string? Committment till death do you part or a slapper from down the road does the parting for you? Or discontentment? Or until one or the other 'falls out of love'?

Collars pretty much work the same way ... its not the collar or collaring that is symbolic...but the intention behind the use of collars in the first place.

For example, one person may think simply wearing a collar is in itself ownership, the next person may think its not a collar of ownership unless it's locked in place, the next person may think collar must be leather with a d-ring, while the next person is happy with a rubberband about their wrist to symbol ownership, while another will hold much awe in a the silver braid necklace about their neck for it is their collar, while another may think a collar is just an inanimate object and that a mark of true ownership is a branding or tattoo... while another may think by merely been told they are 'collared' they are indeed 'collared' ...

I like to use collars physically for training a sub, helping him to feel 'at one' with himself and been in service to me... and at the same time tell him he 'is collared' ...often with a timeframe attached...a way of seeing if we are compatible...a safe time for him in which he can refuse to seek my collar again after that timeframe is up ... if it turns to custard, it's okay kind of deal... least we tried and learned a little from each other ... it is the committment to the timeframe that is important and speaking in terms of collars it can help a sub to feel he/she is indeed in service to someone, and they can say I am "Mistress so and so's slave/sub" , or "I belong to blah blah blah" ...

Collars as a symbol of committment in terms of I love you I want to own you for the rest of my life ... again an extremely powerful symbolic gesture ... as mindblowingly romantic as getting down on bended knee and asking someone to marry you.... not better... but exactly the same ... think about ... what was the traditional point of a wedding ring and marriage but a symbol of ownership.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


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(in reply to Ilenecynthia)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What does a collar mean? - 12/7/2005 10:20:56 AM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline 		A collar is like any other symbol from a wedding ring to a christmas tree. It means exactly what the individuals who share the symbolism agree that it means. If the individuals don't have the same definition of what the symbol means and they don't discuss the meaning, rather than taking it for granted that -everybody- thinks this thing means X, someone is liable to end up severely disappointed.

Lady Zephyr

< Message edited by LadiesBladewing -- 12/7/2005 10:22:45 AM >

(in reply to Ilenecynthia)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What does a collar mean? - 12/7/2005 10:49:54 AM   
mitsu


Posts: 67
Joined: 9/7/2005
From: New York
Status: offline 		I agree with what the majority of these posts express: that a collar is symbolic of a commitment, that it can mean different things to different people, that it acts as a reminder, both in public and in private play, and that it manifests a certain type of relationship. Let's not forget, though, the practical uses of a collar! I love a nice, snug collar, especially a locking collar. To me, the collar can be a form of identification as well as a most intimate form of bondage. I agree with MH00314 that collars are hot, hot, hot. I like steel collars for the way they look, leather collars for the way they feel, and posture collars for their usefulness in putting a submissive in his/her proper place. A collar is a privilege to be earned, and an exciting burden to bear!

< Message edited by mitsu -- 12/7/2005 10:53:57 AM >

(in reply to LadiesBladewing)
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RE: What does a collar mean? - 12/7/2005 11:10:36 AM   
foxglove716


Posts: 648
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline 		Absolutely there is no universal meaning to the collar. Im not in a serious relationship, and dont see myself in a such a comitted relationship to require that really special comitment collar a lot of you have mentioned. Thats a goal, but that doesnt mean I cant enjoy collars in the meantime. I like to have one put on me just before sex, to kind of ritualize the whole thing, which I think is hot. I know its not a commitment, I think of it more as a "training collar". I get butterflies just looking at it because I know what is to come!

(in reply to Ilenecynthia)
Profile   Post #: 20
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