Reinforcement

Reinforcement (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive

Message

colouredin -> Reinforcement (10/11/2008 2:38:21 PM)
Ok so some days are crap days right? everything sucks and you have a little wobble. There is a line from my fave comedy when talking about the positives of being in relationship "I need a check on my femininity" this due to the fact that in life she is in a rather masculine role or at least what feels to her like one. I have had a lot of family problems recently and have therefore had to make lots of decisions the past few days, of course Sir has been supportve but he has also given me space, this is fine but now im starting to need a "check on my submssiveness" I was wondering if people need this what helps them get that check. I am sure that many people will be itching to say that they are always submissive and never feel like it, and thats fine but I am really after some advice. Not only do I want to know what helps check it but how do you bring it up to your partner? I wouldnt want to sound like I am belittling him or anything, not because he lacks confidence just simply because I myself am worried.

leadership527 -> RE: Reinforcement (10/11/2008 5:11:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin I wouldnt want to sound like I am belittling him or anything, not because he lacks confidence just simply because I myself am worried. OK, from your description of his handling of this and assertion of his confidence, it sounds like you've got yourself a dom fully capable of handling this entire situation. The obvious question to me is, "Why won't you let him?" You don't honestly believe that he'll feel "belittled". What are you worried about? That you suddenly, right out of the blue, lost your submissiveness somewhere? Check under the nightstand. Seriously, that's not really very plausible. I can't think of a single good reason not to just address the issue directly with him. It's so incredibly understandable I can't even imagine it'd phase him for a second. From the other side of the kneel, sometimes I need a check on my dominance. This'll come for similar reasons as to you... perhaps work has been keeping her buried so I've been deliberately giving her a lot of leash when she gets home and we've become disconnected as Master and slave if not husband and wife. I tell my wife that and she goes all subby on me (laughs) reinforcing my role as her Master. Seems to me the same thing would work in reverse. as always, it's all about teamwork.

DesFIP -> RE: Reinforcement (10/11/2008 7:05:32 PM)
What's wrong in saying to him "Thank you for giving me such freedom to deal with all this stress, but what I really need now in order to deal with the emotional effects is you curbing me, making me feel my place. I need my leash tightened please"? It tells him you appreciate what he has been doing, gives him insight into how you're doing and gives him the info about what you know need.

littlemisssnarf -> RE: Reinforcement (10/12/2008 7:15:22 AM)
girl give yourself a break me thinks - it sounds like you've had a huge amount on your plate recently which is naturally going to push other areas out of your mind and down the priority list!! i don't think you've lost your subbie nature, it's just got pushed out a little by "life" - as the previous posters have said speak to your Sir, and allow him to decide what is best for you right now.... hugs and luck to you! xx

GreedyTop -> RE: Reinforcement (10/12/2008 7:19:03 AM)
hugs the colourful one I'm going to echo the idea of just let him know you need it.. knowing you, since he's dominant enough to have you, he's dominant to handle you asking for this without getting his panties in a bunch! smooch (miss ya, darling girl....)

BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: Reinforcement (10/12/2008 8:15:01 AM)
Yes indeed, sometimes we need to have our leashes yanked, and held tight. For me, it seems to help slow down my world that sometimes feels like it's spinning out of control. I usually communicate that to Him, and if I feel I need something specific, I will ask for it. Sometimes He just recognizes that I am not in a good place and He will do whatever He feels needs to be done to help me get back to where I need to be mentally and emotionally.

CaraCaeth -> RE: Reinforcement (10/12/2008 2:23:54 PM)
sweetie, i know exactly what you mean . . . been having a lot of my own family issues lately that require me to make all the decisions. And i have to get put in my place sometimes because of that. While Master always recognizes it (and reminds me of it lol!), the advice others have given you is to make sure that your Master knows when you feel you need that reinforcement. But at the same time, you have to make sure you get yourself in the proper frame of mind . . . have a time, even if it's only half an hour, where you have no distractions and can release all your issues from your mind and totally devote and submerge yourself into you and your Master. If you're splitting your mind and emotions between your problems (where you have to make decisions) and your Master (where you're submissive), the two mental states will cancel each other out and will result in frustration. i think if you talk to Him, you'll find your Master more aware of your needs than you think He is . . . at least, if He's anything like mine

sub4hire -> RE: Reinforcement (10/12/2008 3:31:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin I have had a lot of family problems recently and have therefore had to make lots of decisions the past few days, of course Sir has been supportve but he has also given me space, this is fine but now im starting to need a "check on my submssiveness" I was wondering if people need this what helps them get that check. I am sure that many people will be itching to say that they are always submissive and never feel like it, and thats fine but I am really after some advice. Not only do I want to know what helps check it but how do you bring it up to your partner? I wouldnt want to sound like I am belittling him or anything, not because he lacks confidence just simply because I myself am worried. Communicate to him. If you have a good relationship it certainly can handle a conversation. I unfortunately am dominant in my profession. Being my dominants submissive returns me to normal. When he has issues, I stress as well. Though a good conversation usually always puts us back on an even keel. Start out by asking for his guidance...then move on from there.

Page: [1]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125