What was my master doing to me?!

What was my master doing to me?! (Full Version)

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Obezyanka -> What was my master doing to me?! (10/12/2008 7:40:24 AM)
My master has gotten into a fascination of blocking my breathing, I was taken by surprise when he clamped his hand over my mouth and blocked my nostrils off with his thumb, it actually frightened me. Then the other day he tried to "block" the blood flow to my brain, by pressing his fingers against my veins in my throat, that scared me more cause I remember seeing it on Xena when I was younger lol. He says it's so I can relax or that I can be light headed but I don't get it. He told me early on in our relationship that he had a girlfriend who choked him until he blacked out. He told me it was mainly for trust and that was all. So what was he going on about? Thanks.

GreedyTop -> RE: What was my master doing to me?! (10/12/2008 7:45:19 AM)
Breath Play Click HERE

littlewonder -> RE: What was my master doing to me?! (10/12/2008 7:47:07 AM)
Some people like breath control. Why varies. Some like the control..that someone can taketh away and giveth. Some like the adrenaline rush from the danger. Others like the light feeling that they get from the restriction of bloodflow to the brain. It sounds like he told you what he was up to and why. So why are you asking us? Sounds like to me you need to talk to him if you have concerns.

ApathyRomance -> RE: What was my master doing to me?! (10/12/2008 7:47:55 AM)
I learned how to do this from a girlfriend who would orgasm many times from it. If you don't like it tell him not to do it. If he thinks it's a trust building thing (which it definitely could be!) you might want to sit down and talk about limits and edges you are willing to push.

servantheart -> RE: What was my master doing to me?! (10/12/2008 8:12:15 AM)
If it scares you, don't let him do it. Period. If he refuses to listen, stay away from him. If he says he won't do it again and then does it anyway, press charges against him for assault. In the meantime, here is some information about strangulation injuries and breath play: http://www.emedicine.com/EMERG/topic227.htm http://www.fortunecity.com/westwood/carving/417/breathplay.html

DesFIP -> RE: What was my master doing to me?! (10/12/2008 8:53:45 AM)
Breath play isn't about trust. It is about danger because it can always go wrong. If he doesn't know enough about it to know this much, then he sure shouldn't be doing it. Both of you need to educate yourselves on the risk involved. You: dropping dead or being brain damaged. Him: prison. And if you both don't agree to take this risk, then don't do it. If you say you aren't willing to risk this and he does it anyway, then he's proved you can't trust him. Trust runs both ways, not just one. Being choked turns him on. He isn't bothering to pay attention to your reactions to realize that it doesn't do that for you. Are you sure you want someone who doesn't pay attention to your reactions to be endangering your life?

kiwisub12 -> RE: What was my master doing to me?! (10/12/2008 10:13:17 AM)
A really good way to have a stroke (cva) is to have someone block off the arteries in your neck - if the two of you are going to indulge in this sort of play then you need to make sure he has a grasp of anatomy and risks and responsibilities. Some of the risks are not curable.

antipode -> RE: What was my master doing to me?! (10/12/2008 11:30:58 AM)
This is high risk stuff, even in Oz [;)]. If it scares you, tell him no. And as others have said, if he does it regardless, walk. He should discuss with you if he wants you to experience edge sensations, but just because he liked it, doesn't mean he can do it to you, I see either a communication issue, or a lack of respect for you. There is a percentage of practitioners that die from the practice - me personally, I like the edge, but not the type that I or she have to update the will for.

natasha66 -> RE: What was my master doing to me?! (10/12/2008 1:22:06 PM)
I'm sorry, but if someone did something to me without knowing the risks involved or without having seemingly ANY concern for my well-being and/or life, I would run like hell. But that's just me I guess....I value this life I have.

Lashra -> RE: What was my master doing to me?! (10/12/2008 8:40:45 PM)
Is this something that you agreed to? Doing something like this without talking and agreeing on it prior will actually shake the trust foundation. Talk to him and if you do not want to do it, DO NOT. If he cares about your relationship he will respect your limits. ~Lashra

desertdancer -> RE: What was my master doing to me?! (10/12/2008 11:03:16 PM)
It really bothers me that your scared and that this isn't something that you both agreed upon before he tried this on you even once. Telling you that a girl did this to him to teach him trust is totally different then him getting YOU to agree to partake in this behavior. This isn't getting you to relax and trust, it's doing the complete opposite. How can you trust him when he is doing something that could harm you without you're permission. Even though it's a power exchange and he is the one in charge, You still have the right..no NEED to let him know what you will and will not let him do to your body and he needs to respect whatever limits you set, or he isn't the right match for you. Please have a talk with him. Let him know that what he's doing is scaring you.

dreamerdreaming -> RE: What was my master doing to me?! (10/13/2008 12:35:59 AM)
What everyone else said. The fact that he did this to you without prior discussion is a HUGE RED FLAG, to me. What other EXTREMELY DANGEROUS things is he going to do to you without any prior discussion or warning??? You could DIE (or end up maimed or with serious brain damage) never having had any prior discussion, warning, or even given your consent to whatever EXTREMELY DANGEROUS activity he has in mind next. Have you written a will? And do you have a living will, in case you end up a vegetable?

tweedydaddy -> RE: What was my master doing to me?! (10/13/2008 2:33:38 AM)
I think breathing is over rated. I just inject oxygen directly into my lungs. Have you tried injections of pressurised air? The thing that makes me laugh about breath control is what they think they are going to say to the Police when someone winds up dead. It's like this officer, he/she let me do it......

Obezyanka -> RE: What was my master doing to me?! (10/13/2008 5:13:56 AM)
Thanks for your answers, He is kind of controlling of me, in more then BDSM, it's all about trust to him, in other words he gets me with guilt trips. The other day I said no to anal as my anus was very tender. He took three of his fingers and shoved them in my anus and made a thrusting motion, it was so painful that I actually screamed in agony. (Which I have never done before).

desertdancer -> RE: What was my master doing to me?! (10/13/2008 5:46:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Obezyanka Thanks for your answers, He is kind of controlling of me, in more then BDSM, it's all about trust to him, in other words he gets me with guilt trips. The other day I said no to anal as my anus was very tender. He took three of his fingers and shoved them in my anus and made a thrusting motion, it was so painful that I actually screamed in agony. (Which I have never done before). Oh geeze sweety, it sounds to me that this isn't good. Now I'm just scared for you. There is a big difference between dominance and domineering. He isn't teaching you trust. If he wanted to teach you trust, he would hear you tell him "No" to the anal because your tender and then he would leave your rump alone, thus teaching you that you can trust him to do what's best for you. To me as an outsider hearing what your telling us, it sounds like this man is just greedy and is out to take from you what he can whilst telling you it's all for your betterment. I guess what scares me is that this is no longer consent. You said '"No".T hough he didn't have anal sex with you he still crossed your "No" and penetrated you with his fingers. That is NOT okay. It's just not. This seems to be crossing the line from BDSM to abuse and I've never ever said anything like this lightly in my two years on this board. Please think about why your in this relationship, what your getting out of it and what could happen if you stay. ~a very worried dancer

DesFIP -> RE: What was my master doing to me?! (10/13/2008 7:37:16 AM)
What dancer said. He's violating you without your consent, because the moment you said no you had withdrawn consent and he's risking your life doing things he is ignorant about. Is this what you want? He's right in that it is all about trust. He doesn't have any reason for you to trust him. He lost your trust through his actions. If you think he's worth it, then revoke your submission, tell him how badly he's fucked up, and demand he earn your trust by demonstrating that he does care about your health and safety and well being. Personally, I'd take a good hard look at the relationship and decide that anyone who would do this is not someone I wanted to be with.

sailorfrank -> RE: What was my master doing to me?! (10/13/2008 8:24:44 AM)
Good grief?? Please explore and set your Hard Limits before you get seriously hurt. Hard limits are there to protect us from harm or anything we fear or dis-like! Discuss them with him and if he doesnt listen...pack your things and say Goodbye! Trust must always work both ways okay?

SirDominic -> RE: What was my master doing to me?! (10/13/2008 8:34:54 AM)
quote: He is kind of controlling of me, in more then BDSM, it's all about trust to him, in other words he gets me with guilt trips. It appears to be all about blind trust to him. Trust is never automatic, it must be earned. Everything he is doing, from what you have described, is using guilt and intimidation and that has nothing to do with earning trust. If you agreed to allow him to do anything to you, fine. But if that is not the case, he has stepped way over the bounds of a responsible Dom. Breath play in particular, is about the most extreme form of the edge play. A great many of my bdsm friends, even some of the most wicked sadists I know, will not do breath control under any circumstances. You can sit him down and have a talk about what your limits are, but quite frankly, he sounds like someone I would suggest you have nothing to do with again. There are plenty of Doms out there.

natasha66 -> RE: What was my master doing to me?! (10/13/2008 9:07:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Obezyanka Thanks for your answers, He is kind of controlling of me, in more then BDSM, it's all about trust to him, in other words he gets me with guilt trips. The other day I said no to anal as my anus was very tender. He took three of his fingers and shoved them in my anus and made a thrusting motion, it was so painful that I actually screamed in agony. (Which I have never done before). What are you still doing with this man? He has, in my opinion, crossed the line here. "No" is a complete sentence. If he is going against your express wishes now, I'd hate to see what happens down the road. This isn't control, it's abuse. He has NO regard for your well-being. This pisses me off and scares me.

leadership527 -> RE: What was my master doing to me?! (10/13/2008 9:13:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Obezyanka it's all about trust to him, in other words he gets me with guilt trips More specifically, it's all about your blind trust of him. He, apparently, has zero trust in you.

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