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What do you ask? - 3/3/2004 6:05:46 PM

feline

Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
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Ladies, Mistress' and Dommes,

i have already asked this of the subs/slaves and Masters/Doms. So i thought it only fair to give you equall opportunity.

What questions do you feel are important to ask a prospective submissive/slave?

Thank you for your time.

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RE: What do you ask? - 3/5/2004 3:18:02 AM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
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I will state what I would ask
of a Online situation since
this is where We are at and
since you dident specify on
line or real life.

My first question asked is:
How are you today?
Did you read My profile?
Did you understand every
thing that was said in My
profile?Do you understand
the differance in a sub and
slave? Define these for Me.
Do you understand what
Poly means? Give Me two
samples. Do you know what
a Sadist is? Define. Do you
know what a BBW is? Tell Me.
What is your online and real
life experiance as slave if any?
If passed Owned do you have a
copy of your contract signed
and if released do you have
your malumation papers?
What are your known limits
if any and do you know what
limits both hard and soft are.
Are you willing to grow out
your body hair for My pleasure?

Well thats enough for the starters.

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RE: What do you ask? - 3/7/2004 7:29:32 PM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
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The specific questions often will vary (depending on who I'm talking to, where I may be interested in going, and what I discern is the way to get the information I'm looking for).

What would I be looking for?

I want to see the movie that plays in their head when they say "submit," "serve," "devote," "discipline," "love," and any assortment of other terms that are widely thrown about but few seem to agree on their meaning.

What will spark my interest?

A passion for self discovery, even the parts that suck. Integrity, commitment, self-assurance, aggression that can bend, playfulness, intellect, humility...the sorts of things you can only discover by getting to know someone, seeing how they handle themself in different situations. Simple answers to simple questions don't readily reveal many of these things.

The standard disclaimers apply: "Any medical conditions?" "Experience?" "Interests in and out of the dungeon?" "Limits?" ad nauseum.

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“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

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RE: What do you ask? - 3/8/2004 12:02:38 AM

Sylverdawn

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Generally, I ask intial general information questions... Who, What, Where, Why... cover most of it..

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Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

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RE: What do you ask? - 3/10/2004 2:54:02 PM

MsGeri

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Joined: 2/22/2004
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I am searching for a slave...24/7, so My questions would be different than ones I would ask of someone that was not going to be a 24/7. I did find out the hard way one question that I now ask.
1.) Are you on probation or parole?

I had been talking to a femslave from Fla., for about two months when she told Me she was on probation for prostitution!
Needless to say, that disqualified her.

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RE: What do you ask? - 3/10/2004 3:43:43 PM

belongtoyou

Posts: 168
Joined: 1/21/2004
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((sub sneaking into ask a Mistress))

MsGeri;

Glad you clarified the "on probation" bit, as my Dom put me "on probation."

~rain~

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RE: What do you ask? - 3/17/2004 8:52:46 PM

MistressKiss

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I agree that I would be asking questions that are lifestyle oriented, but also "normal life" questions (although I consider BDSM "normal" and vanilla "abnormal" - laughs).

I first, and most importantly, want to know if the potential victim (I mean submissive) has similar goals in the area of relationships. I want to know if we "click" without the mention of whips and chains. I begin by holding a conversation with the person. A sense of humor tells me a lot. If it is a wimpy-type submissive, I am totally turned off because there is not a challenge. I need a challenge.

I also look for someone who can disagree with me. This may be unusual for a woman to say thinking from Dom space. I do not want a person who is a constant "yes" person. When I have him tied to my bed, "yes, Ma'am" is one thing, but otherwise, I want a person that has an opinion and can think for himself.

I suppose that I am coming from the desire that my BDSM relationships are also loving ones. I find it difficult to Dominate a person that I don't have some feelings for. I can do it...but there is more life, more pep, in doing with someone that I share mutual interests with that I enjoy just being with for dinner or a movie.

Please take these comments as being my own opinion, humble as it may be. Part of the beauty of the lifestyle is that we can make it what we want, need, and deeply desire.

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RE: What do you ask? - 3/18/2004 1:21:09 AM

iwillserveu

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quote:

I also look for someone who can disagree with me. This may be unusual for a woman to say thinking from Dom space. I do not want a person who is a constant "yes" person. When I have him tied to my bed, "yes, Ma'am" is one thing, but otherwise, I want a person that has an opinion and can think for himself.

Everyone says that. No one actually likes it.

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RE: What do you ask? - 3/18/2004 7:50:03 AM

MistressKiss

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quote:

Everyone says that. No one actually likes it.

That's awfully presumptuous of you. I not only like it, I demand it. I could not be in a relationship with a submissive OR a Dominant that did not speak up and say something when they disagree. All people in relationships have things they disagree on from time to time, and breakdowns in communication occur when those issues are not discussed and understood.

It's a bit frustrating being lumped into a category so quickly and easily. I don't post for my health and I don't post to make an impression. I use this forum to communicate my real live thoughts, believe it or not, as I would assume most people do.

You seem to disagree with my statement, which is a good thing. To flippantly lump me into a category and claim that I am not being honest about my preferences, well...that is quite another. Especially in a quick one-liner (or two-liner, in this case)...

Tread carefully, my new friend...

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"I assure you, Your Honor, I don't have to practice...I'm very good at them..."
(The Marquis de Sade at one of his trials for the sexual perversities he practiced)

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RE: What do you ask? - 3/18/2004 10:50:33 AM

EStrict

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quote:

Everyone says that. No one actually likes it.

I agree with Kiss. There is not been a lifestyle relationship that I have been in that I haven't been warned they don't like *yes girls*. In our first meeting, Master told me that the thing that would get me punished the most quickly and harshest is taking the easy road out when I disagreed with him. He meant it, and still does after 4 years. Just because it doesn't hold true in your experience doesn't mean it isn't true to others.

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Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

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RE: What do you ask? - 3/18/2004 6:13:07 PM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
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quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

Everyone says that. No one actually likes it.

I didn't miss the emoticon on the end of that statement. It translated, to me, to irony; which subsequently said to me "this is a person with a little experience being told they are too bold."

I want it all. I want someone with enough spine to not only speak up when they disagree, but also with the grace to do it WELL; and, having stated their case, then be quite capable of dealing with my not taking their position (if I choose). Better yet, still be supportive of my choice regardless of what it is.

Petulance need not apply.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

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