RE: Feeling very protective

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SlaveIndigochild -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/26/2008 7:47:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThundersCry did so much better in the long run... watching death knock at someones door is never easy...we all get our turn... Thank you for your good wishes. I've seen so much death recently and perhaps because of my own age i am beginning to witness the deaths of friends not just the elders. I've witnessed those dying from drugs OD's and sadly immune issues also. Death is sanitised. It continues to be a taboo. I think it is evidenced here on this thread that death is indeed a taboo subject: it should have been eradicated from my opening post and then the thread could have simply been about my protectiveness of another person. But why is death a taboo? It is absolutely the one certainty of life, the greatest leveller, and a profound rite of passage. It tests each and everyone of us. It tests our strength, compasson, caring, empathy, stamina and so on and so forth. Although i talk about myself, that is my way of doing things. My model, my framework is experiential and at this time i haven't the wherewithall to defend my perspective.

LadyPact -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/26/2008 7:57:35 AM)
Protection in the lifestyle. You're singing My song. I am fiercely protective. Any sub who has ever been Mine, hoped to be Mine, or even ever thought of becoming Mine, knows this about Me. It is in My nature to a fault. It runs as deep, if not deeper than any other instinct I have. That may sound odd coming from a sadist. Someone who gets delight for inflicting pain. Yet, I've told people for years. I may do things physically to hurt My submissive, but should someone else try to harm them, they have probably taken on more than they bargained for. This isn't an entirely good thing. At times, My protective nature has clouded My vision, closed My mind and skewed My judgment. I'm not even going to sit here and lie and say that it's something I'm working on, because I'm not. If I perceive a threat, I am most likely going to react. Maybe when I become more evolved to deny My instincts, that will change. I don't think it's that unnatural to want to protect those who are important to us. Define "important" any way you like. Be that family, the person on the other side of the kneel, or someone you love. Who wouldn't want to protect those we care about? How much more frustrating it is when we can not protect them from grief, sorrow, or pain. Along with others, I would like to offer condolences, SlaveIndigoChild, to you and the Master who owns you. I hope there will be peace.

NuevaVida -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/26/2008 8:07:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlaveIndigochild I think it is evidenced here on this thread that death is indeed a taboo subject: I haven't seen that evidenced here at all. I saw someone have a concern about privacy and then everyone else jump on her. As for death, I find it to be a beautiful, albeit at times extremely sad and horribly painful, process. I was with my father to the end, with his cancer. Witnessing what cancer can do to a person can often be more traumatic than actually losing the person. I've been exposed to death far more than I would like, but it has allowed me to find beauty in the body's process, the mind's process, and the emotional process of those left behind. Death can create fantastic bonds between people. It can also destroy them. Dealing with death is completely individualized. We all handle it differently, and have our trigger points about it. I guess that's why when someone spoke her own trigger point on this thread I was surprised she was so ripped for it. But then maybe her opinion was a trigger point for others, and so it goes. SI, I'm sorry for your Master's loss. I was with my Dad to the end, and recently told a friend of mine (who is going through the same), "It will be the most difficult, most beautiful and most rewarding experience of your life." I wouldn't have missed that process for anything. As for being protective...I don't know if protective is the right word, but when I was married and my husband's mother died (a sudden death due to a mistake by her doctor), I wanted to be supportive of whatever he needed - whether that was errands to do, to comfort him, or to give him his space. I knew he had to go through whatever emotions he had, and that I didn't want to interfere with that, but I wanted to be at the ready for when he needed me.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/26/2008 10:34:09 AM)
I also find it surprising that Indigo has reached the conclusion that "death is a taboo topic." I'm pretty sure on post #60 here I specifically said "If she or anyone else wants to actually discuss how to grieve and the entire general process of grieving, we should go enjoy doing that on Off Topic." which IMO would point to the exact opposite of taboo. I know this happened before Indigo and some others posting were here, but they would see that death is actually a topic discussed semi-regularly in the off-topic forum, including two of my own close relations in the past few years. Death and grieving as a topic itself is not something I have found evidenced to be taboo at collarchat at all.

scarlethiney -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/26/2008 5:35:09 PM)
quote: Who is belaboring the point? I made one initial post. I only responded again when someone got all irked and judgy to ME about it. I keep repeating that point because a few people (you included) seem to want to throw everything and the kitchen sink into what's "really going on" and what this is "really all about." First it was grieving, then it was "shoulding" and now it's "ego" I've just been repeating myself. I guess you get points for adding new material, but it doesn't stick now any more than it did in the beginning. Who has the ego? The one who own and makes one basic claim and sticks to it, or the ones who keep pushing back and trying to force that person to admit she's been bad and icky and dispassionate and cruel with a rotating circle of pop-psych motivations? You are now saying "Let's just end it" I'm not the one who started it or kept pushing for new perspectives. I had mine, I was happy to post it, and move on. When that merited further elaboration, I elaborated, but essentially just kept repeating the same point. Now you're trying to say it's all my ego that has brought us here. Now I could respond by saying you're just being defensive and passive aggressive and can't just admit you got in a tizzy and lost perspective and couldn't see past your OWN egos and protective desires and can't just graciously bow out. But that WOULD be belaboring the point. "People also seem to be getting the impression that because I take issue with that ONE PART of the original post, that somehow I'm completely being an awful cold inhumane person who has no care or thought for a persons grief. Like I mentioned in another post, if someone is that sensitive, then they really shouldn't expose themselves to the rigors of online posting. *Perhaps you should take your own advice!* "Now I could respond by saying you're just being defensive and passive aggressive and can't just admit you got in a tizzy and lost perspective and couldn't see past your OWN egos and protective desires and can't just graciously bow out. " *Now who is being passive aggressive?* I think you should put more energy into remaining stable and not letting your own sense of ego get so easily punctured and feeling "excluded." *Funny that this now seems as though it really should have been written for you and not the OP.* I'm not the one who started it or kept pushing for new perspectives. I had mine, I was happy to post it, and move on. When that merited further elaboration, I elaborated, but essentially just kept repeating the same point. Now you're trying to say it's all my ego that has brought us here. In a word yes. If every one has a right to an opinion then you are the one who should have let it go. You didn't. You felt the need to "belabor" the point repeatedly rather than just graciously read what was written and move on. So your now getting feed back on your responses, feed back you obviously don't appreciate. There is no need for you to continue to beat this horse...it's long since dead. Interesting how when others don't agree with you it's attacking you but when you don't agree with others it's just you stating a position or opinion. I think perhaps your getting a taste of your own medicine and it doesn't taste so great does it?? scarlet

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/26/2008 6:04:19 PM)
quote: "People also seem to be getting the impression that because I take issue with that ONE PART of the original post, that somehow I'm completely being an awful cold inhumane person who has no care or thought for a persons grief. Like I mentioned in another post, if someone is that sensitive, then they really shouldn't expose themselves to the rigors of online posting. Perhaps you should take your own advice! Have I given some sort of vibe that I'm a sensitive person who takes online posts very personally and become emotionally affected by them in general? I thought everyone was saying that I'm the opposite... quote: "Now I could respond by saying you're just being defensive and passive aggressive and can't just admit you got in a tizzy and lost perspective and couldn't see past your OWN egos and protective desires and can't just graciously bow out. " Now who is being passive aggressive? I thought I was being pretty obvious about it in a mocking tone to drive home the point that their rotating methods to try and thrust upon me were actually showing their own egos, not vice versa. quote: I think you should put more energy into remaining stable and not letting your own sense of ego get so easily punctured and feeling "excluded." Funny that this now seems as though it really should have been written for you and not the OP. So what evidence would you give of me that I am unstable and am feeling ego punctured exactly? quote: I'm not the one who started it or kept pushing for new perspectives. I had mine, I was happy to post it, and move on. When that merited further elaboration, I elaborated, but essentially just kept repeating the same point. Now you're trying to say it's all my ego that has brought us here. In a word yes. Well at least you're honest. quote: If every one has a right to an opinion then you are the one who should have let it go. You didn't. You felt the need to "belabor" the point repeatedly rather than just graciously read what was written and move on. One post is belaboring the point? quote: So your now getting feed back on your responses, feed back you obviously don't appreciate. FYI that should be "you're." I don't appreciate or disappreciate it. I find it baseless, derivative, repeatedly irrational- but that's just an intellectual perspective. It is what it is, this is a discussion forum, people should discuss. quote: There is no need for you to continue to beat this horse...it's long since dead. Again, I only made another response because others directly responded and it seemed elaboration might serve- which is also why I'm responding to you here. You seem to be the one who couldn't let this horse die. Why did you choose to respond here rather than in an email? It seemed pretty obvious that "all of us" had decided there really was nothing further to say on this. quote: Interesting how when others don't agree with you it's attacking you but when you don't agree with others it's just you stating a position or opinion. You'll have to point out where I used the term "attack" exactly? Interestingly enough, I never claimed injury or umbrage or unfairness. I said "everyone seems to be piling on offenses" and you have certainly piled on quite a few yourself in this particular post (though, as with all the others, no actual clear evidence to back it up), so that's just a statement of fact. I'm curious, how exactly would you categorize this post to me? An attempt at education? A warm and fuzzy cyber hug? quote: I think perhaps your getting a taste of your own medicine and it doesn't taste so great does it?? Is that that warm heartedness everyone keeps telling me I need to be more like and how I'm inferior due to lacking? And I am the one with the ego issues and who can't just "let it go"?

slavescarlette -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/26/2008 10:07:37 PM)
My condolences to you and your Master. My Daddy is also dealing with his father facing a life threatening illness. It is challenging at times, especially when I find out he's had dreams of his father dying and I feel unable to offer anything other than a hug and the reassurance that I will be right by his side through whatever happens. As for feeling protective towards him... Yes, terribly so. In fact just recently we had an incident where another submissive female, who had practically thrown herself at his feet and begged to be his, turned around and insulted him to me. Those small words ignited my inner Lioness and i struck back at her with such ferocity that Daddy ended up having to intervene. I am equally protective of all my loved ones but the best part is being with someone who understand where my ferocity in defending him comes from, even when he doesn't feel he needs defending or protecting and appreciates it for what it is.

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