RE: Tributes

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Tributes

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Tributes

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Tributes - 10/15/2008 4:51:06 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: teensub
You are making judgements on what i know and who i know without knowing me at all.

You mean that you know a (current or former) professional dominatrix, in person, in real life, and she's been over to your place, and you've made her soup when she was sick... and you know another one well enough, in real life, that you've had discussions about what to do since one of her relatives has cancer? You know them that well, and you still have to post a question about tribute on an anonymous internet message board instead of asking one of your real-life friends?

Because I do know such women that well in real life. Does it mean I know everything? No. Does it mean there is a 100% chance I know more than you about this subject? Yes. If you ask a question that indicates you do not know basics about the world of BDSM, it is not "judgemental" of others to recognize that you do not know basics about the world of BDSM. And it is in poor taste for you to act as though you magically know people who could answer your question, when you obviously don't.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to teensub)

Post #: 61

RE: Tributes - 10/16/2008 1:30:09 AM

nefariousdreams

Posts: 15
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
You mean that you know a (current or former) professional dominatrix, in person, in real life, and she's been over to your place, and you've made her soup when she was sick... and you know another one well enough, in real life, that you've had discussions about what to do since one of her relatives has cancer? You know them that well, and you still have to post a question about tribute on an anonymous internet message board instead of asking one of your real-life friends?

Because I do know such women that well in real life. Does it mean I know everything? No. Does it mean there is a 100% chance I know more than you about this subject? Yes. If you ask a question that indicates you do not know basics about the world of BDSM, it is not "judgemental" of others to recognize that you do not know basics about the world of BDSM. And it is in poor taste for you to act as though you magically know people who could answer your question, when you obviously don't.

Wow, I bow down to your superior knowledge that so obviously makes everything I know and think about Pro Dommes totally invalid.

Are you so self righteous in every area of your BDSM life that you would rather put down someone with less experience the same way you would a child rather than help educate and support them so that they can learn?

How about you go back and read the bit about 'in my experience' again. If someone doesn't actively seek out Dommes of any kind and especially not Pro Dommes then just how else would you suggest someone learns? Or is the lesson here to berate newbies and make them feel small?

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 62

RE: Tributes - 10/16/2008 3:01:48 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: teensub

people do get very uptight dont they?

In my opinion the majority of domme's i have seen/spoken to just do this for the money, and require and tribute.
That opinion is mine to have.

Just out of curiousity....how many Dommes have you met and spoken to in real life?

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to teensub)

Post #: 63

RE: Tributes - 10/16/2008 3:13:17 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nefariousdreams

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Did you? i didnt, i would have figured he would have used his own profile rather than a joint one, seems an odd way to do it to me, mind you there is a 50/50 chance that you are right.

A 50/50 chance of being right yet no word of an apology colouredin?

Nice to see CalifChick has an open mind and, yes, you can stop digging your little hole now as she is quite correct.

Even suggesting that teensub was responding to her own messages is a little sad don;t you think?

Well, you came on her thread and started posting like you didn't know each other, so no it wasn't sad. To me, it was kind of expected.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to nefariousdreams)

Post #: 64

RE: Tributes - 10/16/2008 3:45:26 AM

DelilahDeb

Posts: 429
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

Tribute...yes, it's been covered. Thank you, colouredin, for posting the links to the threads. I've quoted definition on tribute before, and I continue to feel that it's extended in the guise of a gift only when force majeure is in play.

I don't demand it, not being pro. It feels like another term for fee. That said, I have grumbled about a sub who didn't get it to the extent of not even doing basic guest-in-my-home minor tidying chores. And it turned out, in that instance, that that particular sub didn't get it on every level possible. Heck, he started with a wish to be topped by a Mommy do-me, though he may eventually learn something exploring his sissy side.

Just recently, a sub visiting me on his birthday had a great deal of fun, and so did I. And he asked about other service he could do me when he finished bits of cleaning as assigned...and just then, I couldn't think of a thing. Some other time, maybe. But I have to think of something suited to the player.

Mind, I very much enjoy a particular and regular sub who spoils me with both service and gifts…however, the service is what I sought when first hooking up, and his habit of bringing a token routinely, well, I feel spoiled, in the best possible way.

Lady Delilah Deb

_____________________________

"All acts of love & pleasure are My rituals."
--from the Charge of the Goddess, a Wiccan teaching

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 65

RE: Tributes - 10/16/2008 3:57:34 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: teensub

thank you for a non judgemental and easy response Fetishrose.

If dominant ladies can make a living out of charging for there services then good on them. I guess i would never pay for these services and find it odd that people do, but that is just personal preference, like you say Fetish i would much rather burn a CD or buy some flowers because i want to.

Somehow I doubt a homemade CD or bunch of flowers would get you very far. Maybe a "hello". But in truth all I do know about the subject is from a few net aquaintances that are actually in the profession.

Tress, you should have as many boots as your heart desires.

teensub, the reason you are catching so much flak and being talked to like you are a child is because you are coming across as a petulant child. Change your behaviour and you will get different results. Don't and you won't. Pretty simple really.

Red, when I get sick next, I am going to remember that soup thing.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to teensub)

Post #: 66

RE: Tributes - 10/16/2008 7:54:10 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover
1. Men have historically been far more willing to pay for "getting some" (the composition of "some" being very subjective) than women. There are plenty of prostitutes catering to men... far fewer gigilos catering to women. Similarly, there are plenty of "Pro Dommes" (a misnomer... they are overwhelmingly Dominatrixes engaged in scene play with paying clients rather than Dominants engaged in power exchange relationships) catering to male bottoms in exchange for "tribute" (the function of which is often a kink unto itself). And before anyone gets their panties in a bunch... I am not equating Dominatrixes with prostitutes. Don't be so sensitive.

To add to this, females in the hetero world currently have/are given more of the power in the courtship process. They hold the males to the standards and the males are expected to perform up to par or are rejected. Gender roles hold that males provide financially for the female so that's what you get here.

Generally put, males can't get away with expecting females to pay anywhere close to the level that females still expect it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 67

RE: Tributes - 10/16/2008 10:06:31 AM

nefariousdreams

Posts: 15
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi
Just out of curiousity....how many Dommes have you met and spoken to in real life?

So back to the view of my opinion is more valid than your opinion blah blah blah...

What on earth is the relevance of how many Dommes teensub has spoken to in real life when the OP was about the high proportion of Dommes she has seen on here that demand a tribute? She never said all Dommes, or alll the Dommes she has spoken to, or all the Dommes on this board.

I find the attitude of many to be disappointing. Ask a simple question based on an acknowledged limited experience and suddenly your opinion is invalid and your attitude poor when you respond. It seems to me that it is many of the people telling teensub that her opinion is wrong are doing it in the very way that they are complaining about relating to her first post.

We have actually spoken via PM to colouredin and sorted things out. Perhaps a few others should take a leaf out of her book and open themselves up to the possibility, however slighty, that they might just have overreacted to an innocent question.

I would have expected more tolerance from more people in the BDSM community which has been my experience up until now. Or am I letting the intolerant few cloud my view of the pleasant majority?

(in reply to thishereboi)

Post #: 68

RE: Tributes - 10/16/2008 10:18:52 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

The problem is that other people are asking questions, I dont actually think that what Thishereboy was being rude, its a valid question because how many you know r/l makes a differance to opinion about profiles. I dont think that any question or even any challange should be seen as undermining of an opinion. As you say its a view based on limited experiance if people are saying well in reality the proportion isnt as large as you think thats a perfectly valid answer to the question, she asked why so many Dommes ask for them and why no Doms do. Well a reasnoble answer therefore would be well actually not all that many Dommes do and some male Doms do, even if its experaince that she has had if can still not paint an acurate picture.

Also being overly defensive when people talk about holes in thories doesnt hold up an arguement. On forums not all willa gree with you, some will want clarification and some will ask questions, seeing all those questions as an attack not only will hinder the learning that is wanted but also wont facilitate helpful answers as LAT said,

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to nefariousdreams)

Post #: 69

RE: Tributes - 10/16/2008 10:39:31 AM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: teensub

Now im sure this has been asked many of times before but i have never asked it. Before you mistresses get all stroppy out there, it is merely a question not a judgement.

Why do most domme's i see on this site expect tributes?
why do female dominants expect it but male doms dont?

Just a question i have wanted to know the answer to for a while now.

A male dom I know requires tributes to weed out those not forthright in their interest to take a relationship (casual or otherwise) beyond the keyboard. Although many approach with a request to serve, too few are serious in meeting in person - despite what they write. Those that pay a small token to prove their sincerity get to the front of the line. Who wants to invest time and attention in someone not quite ready to serve, but ready to tie you up in useless mile long email exchanges?

Most people know how to use good judgment in deciding whether the person they are approaching to serve is legitimate and for some, paying that initial token is worthwhile.

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e

(in reply to teensub)

Post #: 70

RE: Tributes - 10/16/2008 11:49:54 AM

shewhoserves

Posts: 110
Joined: 9/17/2008
Status: offline

Why can't we (subs) ask for tributes???

_____________________________

I'd Be Far More Interested If You Were Buying Me Drinks

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 71

RE: Tributes - 10/16/2008 12:11:54 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

We do what works.

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e

(in reply to shewhoserves)

Post #: 72

RE: Tributes - 10/16/2008 12:16:28 PM

tweedydaddy

Posts: 673
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

If i was a domme i would be demanding tribute in the form of shoes.
Men arent that bothered about shoes, maybe thats why

Not bathered about shoes???? A vastly sweeping generalisation if ever I heard one.
I can't see the back of my shoe cupboard, never wear the sames ones again in the same month!

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 73

RE: Tributes - 10/16/2008 12:35:21 PM

teensub

Posts: 135
Joined: 7/18/2007
Status: offline

ahh shoes, now if only subs could ask for them as tributes.

_____________________________

L.pickle

(in reply to tweedydaddy)

Post #: 74

RE: Tributes - 10/16/2008 12:37:19 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shewhoserves

Why can't we (subs) ask for tributes???

Who says you can't? You're free to ask for whatever you want.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to shewhoserves)

Post #: 75

RE: Tributes - 10/16/2008 1:33:35 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nefariousdreams
Wow, I bow down to your superior knowledge that so obviously makes everything I know and think about Pro Dommes totally invalid.

I have no interest in you bowing to me. You are not my sub.

There are two possibilities here. Either you knew the answer to teensub's question before she posted it, or you didn't. If you knew the answer, then the two of you are playing a manipulative game. If you didn't know the answer, then by definition your opinion is worth less than the facts the posters on this thread have been providing you, even though you are claiming that everyone's opinion is just as valid as everybody else's. It's not, because some people aren't posting their opinions. They are posting the facts of their lives.

Online "experience" has little value, when compared to experience with real people in real life. Profiles are not people, and not every dominant female profile on this site was actually created by a dominant woman. You will have a hard time learning things as long as you believe your current opinion is at least as important as material reality.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to nefariousdreams)

Post #: 76

RE: Tributes - 10/16/2008 1:38:50 PM

JustDarkness

Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shewhoserves

Why can't we (subs) ask for tributes???

there are pro subs....and they ask tributes

ps...
were there is a demand there is a market..that also counts for D's that ask a tribute.

< Message edited by JustDarkness -- 10/16/2008 1:40:10 PM >

(in reply to shewhoserves)

Post #: 77

RE: Tributes - 10/16/2008 1:39:51 PM

teensub

Posts: 135
Joined: 7/18/2007
Status: offline

some people just dont let it go.

I was talking about online experiences, not real life one's so im not entirely sure why you are making a big deal about that.

As for nefariousdreams being a sub..i think not.

Btw have you ever hard of sarcasm, it would seem you haven't.

_____________________________

L.pickle

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 78

RE: Tributes - 10/16/2008 1:41:28 PM

teensub

Posts: 135
Joined: 7/18/2007
Status: offline

Justdarkness there are pro subs? Actually i think i came across a profile of a girl saying she was one, not entirely sure how well that would work tho, strikes me as a little dangerous but i guess no more so than any other relationship

_____________________________

L.pickle

(in reply to teensub)

Post #: 79

RE: Tributes - 10/16/2008 1:46:13 PM

JustDarkness

Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: teensub

Justdarkness there are pro subs? Actually i think i came across a profile of a girl saying she was one, not entirely sure how well that would work tho, strikes me as a little dangerous but i guess no more so than any other relationship

Yes there are. There used to be a pro-sub posting here...not sure if she is gone or not.
Of course they agree on rules too..and they come with a "bodyguard". ;)
I guess you have just topay them..but propably the frontpage of CM doesn't allow to name it like that..so it is tribute..
Don't think they are satisfied with a chocolate bar in a gift wrap.

ps. I think that there is even a pro section in this forum. PErhaps you can find more info there
yes there is
http://www.collarchat.com/forumid_40/tt.htm
Links to professional dominants and submissives.

< Message edited by JustDarkness -- 10/16/2008 1:47:30 PM >

(in reply to teensub)

Post #: 80

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Tributes

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.172