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Slave in danger - 10/15/2008 2:01:44 PM   
ClassicV


Posts: 20
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		If you knew of a slave who you believed was in danger, would you attempt to intervene, and if so, how esp' if they have since gone offline ?.  A girl, isolated from the outside world for 20 years apart from doing the shopping, when she is escorted, prohibited from using the phone, CCTV at the door to see if she talks with anyone .. husband has relinquished any interaction to another woman .. is often flogged and lowered into a covered pit, sometimes for days at a time ..  often near starved .. but being so conditioned as to be incapable of walking away from the only life she knows .. in her own words, she'd " walk to the end of the 'close' .. not know whether to turn left or right, so she'd turn around and go back".  Is that a life for any human ?
I fear that this other woman will eventually tire of her, and simply dispose of her ... who would even notice ?
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RE: Slave in danger - 10/15/2008 2:09:02 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Unfortunatly in cases like these she has to want to leave thats the only way it works they cant force her away, I wonder is this someone you know r/l or online

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RE: Slave in danger - 10/15/2008 2:12:00 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		If it is someone you know personally, then you might have some sort of recourse, or ability to intervene. If this is an online story, chances are fairly good it is only that, a story.

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RE: Slave in danger - 10/15/2008 2:24:50 PM   
erintgurltramp


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/26/2007
Status: offline 		There is a BIG difference between consensual BDSM slavery and abuse.  This has definitely crossed the line and intervention by law enforcement is needed. 

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RE: Slave in danger - 10/15/2008 2:47:44 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		If this is someone you know personally, i would do an anoymous tip to adult protective services, stating she is in physical danger.

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RE: Slave in danger - 10/15/2008 4:19:23 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I would talk to the girl first...apparently you know a lot about her so I'd say you must communicate in some way with her...and I'd ask her if it's consensual, does she want to be there. Everyone has their kinks. This may be her's and their's.

If she is then I'd shrug my shoulders and walk away. If she seemed hesitant or despondent in her answers then I may intervene by calling the police.

In the end you can't make someone leave unless they truly want to and what may seem abusive to you may not be at all to the people involved. There take may not be the same as yours.

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RE: Slave in danger - 10/15/2008 4:43:40 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with the above.  It is difficult to distinguish the difference sometimes between consentual play and abuse.  The key is the slave's perspective on the matter.  If she truly feels held against her will and this is not a good thing, then the law has been broken and the police may be called.  However, it is a bad idea trying to help a person in such a relationship when they are not communicating distress.  It is how a lot of otherwise good, kinky folks find themselves on the wrong side of the law and their lives permanently destroyed.  Be careful and wise in your decision.

lovingpet

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RE: Slave in danger - 10/15/2008 5:30:30 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Of course, if she has been in this relationship for decades, she probably has lost all sense of what is abusive and what is not, and very likely can't concieve of a life outside of this relationship.    Think Stockholm syndrome.
i am willing to bet she couldn't function by herself in the "real" world.

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RE: Slave in danger - 10/15/2008 6:07:56 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		That is a distinct possibility.  As insane as it sounds though, this may have been the understanding going in.  Whether or not it should be allowed to continue, I will let folks debate that one.  Perhaps doing some research on Stockholm Syndrome and comparing it to what the OP is seeing in said slave would be advisable and may help in deciding if intervention is necessary or not.  There are a lot of other conditions similar that could be playing out as well and would appear dangerous and in need of outside mediation.

Ignoring is never the answer.  Proceeding armed with knowledge, common sense, and wisdom is always advisable.

lovingpet


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RE: Slave in danger - 10/15/2008 6:15:05 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I would talk to the girl first...apparently you know a lot about her so I'd say you must communicate in some way with her...and I'd ask her if it's consensual, does she want to be there. Everyone has their kinks. This may be her's and their's.

If she is then I'd shrug my shoulders and walk away. If she seemed hesitant or despondent in her answers then I may intervene by calling the police.

In the end you can't make someone leave unless they truly want to and what may seem abusive to you may not be at all to the people involved. There take may not be the same as yours.



This is so hard.  I was in an abusive relationship and I thought it was a BDSM relationship.  I thought I was "consenting" to everything that was happening when in fact I was not.  It took my submissive friends to get me to do something and it has taken years before I would consider being in such a relationship again.  And I defended him to them over and over and over again and insisted it was consensual.  It took quite some time to see that what I thought I was consenting to was not in fact what was happening.


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RE: Slave in danger - 10/15/2008 6:15:24 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		So, this slave has been denied all access to the outside world.....except internet?  She's in no mental shape to be devious about it...doesn't know how to walk to the left or right, but can navigate her way around the internet? 

Sorry, but it just smells like another of those online dramas.

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RE: Slave in danger - 10/15/2008 7:41:35 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		That is what I was thinking myself.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Slave in danger - 10/15/2008 7:50:08 PM   
greeneyedreamer


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline 		Truthfully, this is a classic case of Abuse. She must feel as if she is worthless and has no choice. It is almost classic in it's description. Abused women often say they are fine, and too afraid to leave because they feel worthless and unworthy of a normal life. I have no idea in this case not knowing the individual, but a call wouldn't be the worse thing. IMHO... Dreamer

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RE: Slave in danger - 10/15/2008 9:32:57 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		If she comes back online you can suggest that  if she wants out of this relationship she could email her local police if that is her only way of communicating.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

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RE: Slave in danger - 10/15/2008 10:42:45 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

If she comes back online you can suggest that  if she wants out of this relationship she could email her local police if that is her only way of communicating.


I would never, ever have done this.  When he threw me out of the house in winter I went to the salvation army to see if I could find a place to sleep.  They called the battered women's shelter and I almost threw a fit, because I did NOT consider myself abused...it was all consensual...


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RE: Slave in danger - 10/16/2008 2:24:59 AM   
ClassicV


Posts: 20
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I tried the police and social services(in England), and had absolutely no response to my expressed concerns.  Apart from anything else ... keeping someone confined for days implies a substantial disregard for her safety.  What if she was in the pit and THEY were involved in an accident, and were unable to release/feed/water her ?.

I do accept that the whole story could be a figment of her imagination, but I don't believe it is so.

(in reply to moonvine)
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RE: Slave in danger - 10/16/2008 4:42:13 AM   
ExKat


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/25/2008
Status: offline 		  You're still not mentioning how you've been talking to this woman. If she has access to the internet, she has access to help-when she wants it. If her insanely harsh dominant/s?are giving her free reign to tell her sob story to random doms online, she definitely has the freedom she needs to get out/get help should she so desire.

  Personally, it sounds a lot more like a fantasy than anything else. She appears to have lured you in-what good dominant wouldn't want to go find her, pull her from that pit, rebuild her? It just seems too suspicious to me (and, evidently, the police).

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RE: Slave in danger - 10/16/2008 4:45:21 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: moonvine

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

If she comes back online you can suggest that  if she wants out of this relationship she could email her local police if that is her only way of communicating.


I would never, ever have done this.  When he threw me out of the house in winter I went to the salvation army to see if I could find a place to sleep.  They called the battered women's shelter and I almost threw a fit, because I did NOT consider myself abused...it was all consensual...



One can consent to their own abuse...I did in my marriage. It took me about two years to understand that I had a part in my own maltreatment, and that was the only thing that helped me move past it in the end.

Now I know some people feel they cannot leave or they will be harmed.. but even then it is a choice to live in fear or try to have some sort of existence without it.

If I am with a dom and he treats me in a way that feels badly to me and I do not end it or leave it is abuse because of the way it is making me feel, but that doesn't mean it isn't consensual

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 10/16/2008 4:46:15 AM >

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RE: Slave in danger - 10/16/2008 11:38:32 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		"I am stuck in a pit and cannot get out, therefor I am emailing everyone I know to let them know......"

No, nothing wrong with that at all.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to ExKat)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Slave in danger - 10/16/2008 12:54:12 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ClassicV

I tried the police and social services(in England), and had absolutely no response to my expressed concerns.  Apart from anything else ... keeping someone confined for days implies a substantial disregard for her safety.  What if she was in the pit and THEY were involved in an accident, and were unable to release/feed/water her ?.

I do accept that the whole story could be a figment of her imagination, but I don't believe it is so.



The social services cant get invoved with any old whim, you need proof before they can investigate, if this person is as i expect someone you know online only then there is nothing that you can do, they wont take it seriously if its a friend and you can give real details then they may be able to do something however she is an adult and she would have to ask them for help, admit to it being abuse or else again there is nothing you can do about it. Thats how it works.

If she doesnt want to stop it then you cant force it to no matter how hard you scream abuse.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to ClassicV)
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