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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:54:14 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		I think the answers would be specialized to some degree. People not into BDSM are more apt to have strong opinions about it, and those who are into BDSM want to know how to deal with "coming out" and receiving such opinions.

I see it as BDSM-related, overall. Telling my doctor that the bruises were done in fun, rather than anger, is a specialized answer. Explaining to those close to me why I "obey" the man in my life eases their worry, and is a specialized answer. Explaining to a worried mom why her daughter is living with an established husband/wife as their house and sexual servant is a pretty specialized answer. For some people, "It's none of their business" isn't an acceptable answer, because they enjoy being open with and accepted by their families.

This isn't to say any one type of relationship is more or less special than another. But the Q&A can be quite different at times.

Sure, if someone was going into the nunnery, prostitution, or any other type of relationship or life path that isn't the societal majority, they would have some specific (specialized) explaining to family & friends, too. But this isn't a Board specific to nunnery and prostitution or other such walks of life. It's a board on BDSM, which is also not a societal norm, so there will be specific Q&A relevant to it.

Just my 2 pennies.



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(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:54:46 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

I agree with the fear thing, I know I have to think twice or 89 times before posting for fear ill offend someone, and then I always do


Lol always someone gonna be offended by anything we say.
My advice, just post. You usually have some good shit to say
 
 

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If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:55:27 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

No
Unless it involves knives, whips, blood, screaming and one very 'wet' misst it aint bdsm


Well sheesh, there's your answer!!

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:58:13 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation
I think whats biting me is the spate of people who post thinking that the answers will be specialised because this is the 'world of bdsm'.


Sometimes the answers are different because the relationships are different.  Sometimes the questions are framed around BDSM and these types of relationships because that is what this board is tarketing.  It isn't to say that the answers will be different, it is just that the questions are specifically focused on these types of relationship.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:58:20 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

No
Unless it involves knives, whips, blood, screaming and one very 'wet' misst it aint bdsm


Well sheesh, there's your answer!!


Lol


_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 11:01:37 AM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline 		The BDSM is propably still there. But new people give new views...old people have changed views or even leave.
And BDSM is not so special and kinky anymore... every one wants to be part of it....lol

If we mis it...like it was..the only thing we can do. is it to change it ourself...and post new threads that are "more" BDSM.

(ps..we did indeed complain about repeating threads last year...so I guess...we will never be satisfied)

< Message edited by JustDarkness -- 10/19/2008 11:03:59 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 11:10:19 AM   
badlilthang


Posts: 357
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

I wonder if theres a reluctance by relatively new people to post BDSM related questions, for fear of being roasted over the "USE THE SEARCH FUNCTION" flames...


***i SO agree with you here...i have seen people been chewed and spit out  - for simply asking something BDSM related instead of helping - the "seasoned" BDSM'ers seem to enjoy stepping on the newcomers and roll their eyes - making snarky remarks. Heck, we were all new once - and i can't actually recall people being this mean to me when i asked stupid questions back in my novic days...on the other hand..laughs...i still ask stupid questions..hehe***


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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 11:20:53 AM   
bamabbwsub


Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline 		Maybe CM should develop a "newbies" board. I know that Weight Watchers has one, and it is populated with newbies and, uh, oldbies?? who have the patience not to be snarky when someone asks a question that almost everyone else knows the answer to.

Just a suggestion.

_____________________________

"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 12:01:03 PM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bamabbwsub

Maybe CM should develop a "newbies" board. I know that Weight Watchers has one, and it is populated with newbies and, uh, oldbies?? who have the patience not to be snarky when someone asks a question that almost everyone else knows the answer to.

Just a suggestion.


mmm weightwatchers <> CM compariisson

WE NEED CHANGE!!!! fast...lol

(in reply to bamabbwsub)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 12:07:15 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		When i first started reading the boards a good majority of it was learn to use the search button. Being very new to BDSM, and not wanting people jumping down my throat, i did just that. Went and used the search button on many questions i have had. Also i seen a lot of bickering, though some call it debating, on the boards, and i really didn't want to deal with that. It is easier for me to search old posts then to ask a question.

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 12:07:41 PM   
greeneyes600


Posts: 47
Joined: 9/16/2008
Status: offline 		Yes, definitely a fear of being roasted by 'know-it-alls' all the time.     I think that would put anyone off posting.

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 12:27:38 PM   
DomDolf


Posts: 363
Joined: 7/11/2008
Status: offline 		LOL... I was actually about to post a new topic and had to think to myself "how many idiots are going to tell me to do a search". I have been told that I should do a search a few times and then I of course pointed out that I can't get comments and reactions and interface with a dead topic like I can a fresh one. For instance, if someone is newish to CM, someone like me, that has lots of experience, a willingness to share, a generally good ability to effectively communicate and they did not have a chance to comment on a dead thread then there is a chance that someone will not receive a very valid and useful sharing of knowledge and experience. I feel it is the responsibility of those that have a clue to help spread good information to those that are newer. Some of those that like the word "twue" trip over comments and beliefs that I have. They are usually the ones that are quick to mangle anyone that asks a question without knowing that it has been discussed many times over. The only twuth in doing that is that it's rude and short-sighted. Anyone that suggests that anyone else do a search needs to search their motives.

So anyway, I will be posting a new topic soon on psychological domination. Anyone that cares to ask me to do a search can search for all my comments to other that have suggested I do one in the past. There are only 285 or so posts to look through to find them. Have fun with that!

Dolf

< Message edited by DomDolf -- 10/19/2008 12:31:57 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 12:41:20 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Actually I dealt with bdsm relationships ending diffrently than I dealt with vanilla ones ending. I also missed the bdsm relationships more than vanilla ones.


quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation
 If a relationship ends the way you deal with it is going to be pretty much on a par whether you are bdsm or nilla.
.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 12:47:05 PM   
bamabbwsub


Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

mmm weightwatchers <> CM compariisson

WE NEED CHANGE!!!! fast...lol


LOL! I think that's kinda what misst was referring to in her post. There are as many, if not more, threads on weight loss, politics (ugh!), pet care, etc., as there are on aspects of BDSM, it seems.

_____________________________

"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

(in reply to JustDarkness)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 12:50:59 PM   
bamabbwsub


Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

So anyway, I will be posting a new topic soon on psychological domination.


Dolf, I'd be very interested in reading and responding to Your thread on psychological domination, or what I like to call the "Mind Fuck." One of my favorites!!!

I promise not to be snarky, either. :)

_____________________________

"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

(in reply to DomDolf)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 1:04:03 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

More and more recently as i have perused this board and it's threads i have noticed one thing. It's distinct lack of BDSM threads! It appears to be becoming more and more 'nilla' or more and more frequented by people who think that because we are into BDSM, the answers to every day questions must be different.
I'm not saying it's a good or bad thing. I'm not saying it doesn't make peoples questions valid, but i am wondering where the BDSM went from a BDSM board?


I was first involved in a BDSM board way back with Prodigy in 1993 or so.  New people keep coming in and wanting to talk about things that have been discussed many times before.  People who have been around a while run out of stuff they want to talk about.  New people get jumped on for asking the same questions that have already been asked 8 billion times.  But people have made friends on the board and like to discuss, so they end up discussing other things. 

Just my opinion...

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 1:04:36 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Not me lol. I'm not afraid to put my foot in my mouth or make people offended. I don't go out of my way to do so, but I don't fear the possiblity or worry about the possibility of doing so.
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

I agree with the fear thing, I know I have to think twice or 89 times before posting for fear ill offend someone, and then I always do

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 1:06:21 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDarkness


mmm weightwatchers <> CM compariisson

WE NEED CHANGE!!!! fast...lol


No doubt!!!!!

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 1:07:04 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		BDSM is alive and well in a metal dungeon somewhere in NJ.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 1:07:26 PM   
WhiplashSmile2


Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline 		I'm not certain what to say to this.  I have made posts in the past regarding activities and kink.  Engaged in some really excellent threads that are focused upon BDSM.

However a long long time ago, I openly said.  BDSM is easy for me, the hard part is focused upon relationship issues.

So yes, many of us are exploring relationship aspects because this area is problem the #1 point of failure of even BDSM relationships and the #1 area that most of us can improve upon.

OK, so what if it's seeming a little vanilla these days.  We all are human beings.  Being into BDSM does not magically make us something other besides human.  There are very real emotional issues, very real relationship issues that need to be talked about an addressed.

If anything, these issues and topics actually reveal more truth about D/s and Lifestyle or BDSM issues compared to all the Porno and stereotyping that occurs.

In the area of kink lately, not too much has been posted about it.   Trust me, my mind is always clicking away upon kink, sex and etc..

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 40
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