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RE: How do you use a bidet? - 10/25/2008 7:22:18 AM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		i agree with you LL!  If you think about it, wiping a dirty ass with dry TP is plenty nasty.  I always keep a tub of baby wipes in every bathroom but truly wish I had a bidet!


-I AM CORNHOLIO!  I NEED SOME TEEPEE FORRR MY BUNGHOLE!

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RE: How do you use a bidet? - 10/25/2008 7:25:38 AM   
FullfigRIMaam


Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
I have come to the conclusion that as an American who has never used a bidet that us cowboy americans are DIRTY!
Ain't nothing wrong with being dirty.
I read somewhere sex is only dirty if you do it right...  On the other hand, the bidet is an awesome place to prepare for a dirty night to come.   M

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RE: How do you use a bidet? - 10/25/2008 8:02:07 AM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Bita, I died laughing when I saw this thread.  The first time I went to Sri Lanka with my (then) husband, I was right out of college, and had never been overseas before.  We were at a huge party at one of the family friend's place and I saw my first bidet.  I was curious as to how it worked, so I turned the knob and the pressure behind it was insane - like an open fire hydrant.  I ended up soaking the bathroom because it went off like Old Faithful.  I was wet, the floor and perhaps the ceiling was wet... dear me, it was a mess.  It took me forever to get the place back in good repair so I could run and hide among the other party goers.  When I did get out, my husband looked at me and said, "Where have you been?"  I told him what happened and he almost pissed himself laughing.  From then on, I was never allowed to touch the bidets, and quite frankly... they still scare me.

Signed,
BabyWipeButt

ETA:

This little bit of information could've been helpful in the summer of 1993. 

  • Be very careful when turning on the water, as many bidets can produce a very high jet of water with only a slight turn of the control.
     
  • Be sure that you know where the water will be coming from ahead of time, or you could end up with a surprise shower.

    < Message edited by Daddysredhead -- 10/25/2008 8:05:41 AM >

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    RE: How do you use a bidet? - 10/25/2008 9:26:36 AM   
    SimplyMichael


    Posts: 7229
    Joined: 1/7/2007
    Status: offline     		I have a personal bidet and I can't imagine anything more pleasant.

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    RE: How do you use a bidet? - 10/25/2008 9:55:17 AM   
    CalifChick


    Posts: 10717
    Joined: 10/28/2007
    From: California
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

    i agree with you LL!  If you think about it, wiping a dirty ass with dry TP is plenty nasty.  I always keep a tub of baby wipes in every bathroom but truly wish I had a bidet!

    -I AM CORNHOLIO!  I NEED SOME TEEPEE FORRR MY BUNGHOLE!


    I also keep baby wipes (well, actually, the adult flushable wipes, as regular baby wipes can clog the toilet) in every bathroom. 

    Slight hijack:  The "cornholio" thing... when we were in Vegas, on Friday afternoon, and I called Merc to find out where they were so we could join them... what I thought I heard was, "We're at Harrahs, at the Cornhole Bar".  The band was playing, and the music was very loud.  I said, "You're WHERE?", and he repeated it.  I knew that just could NOT be what I heard. I figured we'd get to Harrah's and find the loud music.  After I hung up, Merc sent me a text message with the name of the bar.  It turned out to be "The Carnival Bar."

    For a bit there, I was thinking, "Dang!  Vegas isn't what it used to be!"


    Cali





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    RE: How do you use a bidet? - 10/25/2008 10:43:49 AM   
    LadyHibiscus


    Posts: 27124
    Joined: 8/15/2005
    From: Island Of Misfit Toys
    Status: offline     		I would love a bidet...  actually TWO bidets, since I would turn one into a turtle habitat!

    My aunt (in Italy) also uses hers as a foot bath.  Wunnerful things, bidets...

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    RE: How do you use a bidet? - 10/25/2008 11:00:01 AM   
    NuevaVida


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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

    It's got that squating thing involved! I can't do that because of my knees. lol When you come and visit, just think about how germ free it's going to be.


    Honey, there is no squatting. You just sit on it. And smile. :)

    And yeah, when I come visit, I'll be spending a lot of time in your bathroom.

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    RE: How do you use a bidet? - 10/25/2008 11:46:07 AM   
    BitaTruble


    Posts: 9779
    Joined: 1/12/2006
    From: Texas
    Status: offline     		Sit on it? But, it's square! You've seen my ass.. it's round! This round isn't going to work on that square!

    This thread has, quite literally, had me in tears from laughing. Thanks everyone for teaching this old dog some new tricks.

    I like the idea of a turtle bowl.. I wonder what Himself will think of that. He'll be home in 52 hours so I'm going to ask him.

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    RE: How do you use a bidet? - 10/25/2008 5:09:23 PM   
    cjan


    Posts: 3513
    Joined: 2/21/2008
    Status: offline     		Sorry to go off topic a bit, Bita, but I'm wondering...how do you like Portugal so far  ?

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    RE: How do you use a bidet? - 10/25/2008 5:24:05 PM   
    Racquelle


    Posts: 600
    Joined: 4/21/2008
    Status: offline     		Poo, pee and wipe normally on the toi-toi.  Use the bidet when you have NOT just used the toi-toi to freshen up.  Keep a bar of soap nearby.    Remember, bidets can squirt water up and into your body.  The vag does not do so well with that - it disturbs the natural balance of things and any remaining poo can get washed up into the vag and cause bacterial vaginosis.  Yes, you sit right down onto it, straddle it really.  But, whatever the bidet does for you, a shower or bath will do better. That's my serious answer.

    I think you can order tooty and wipes on Amazon now.  While you are at it, check out the reviews for Tuscan Dairy Whole Milk.

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    RE: How do you use a bidet? - 10/25/2008 5:57:54 PM   
    NuevaVida


    Posts: 6707
    Joined: 8/5/2008
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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

    Sit on it? But, it's square! You've seen my ass.. it's round! This round isn't going to work on that square!

    This thread has, quite literally, had me in tears from laughing. Thanks everyone for teaching this old dog some new tricks.

    I like the idea of a turtle bowl.. I wonder what Himself will think of that. He'll be home in 52 hours so I'm going to ask him.


    Honey I'm looking at the picture, and it's more rectangular. Now, I'm not saying you have a rectangular ass, but, you know...ya sit...your legs rest on the sides...the water flows...and it's all good. Really. Trust me. If I have to come show you personally, you know I'd be glad to.

    A turtle bowl, huh? You really think Himself is gonna enjoy little turtle eyes looking up at him when he's in the bathroom?

    I suppose if you're determined to not enjoy the luxury of what it's built for, you can fill it with sand and put a little rake in there, as a meditative deal while you're...um...otherwise occupied... Just don't turn the water on, cuz then you'd have a little beach. Which, hey, that could be fun, too.

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    RE: How do you use a bidet? - 10/25/2008 6:19:15 PM   
    KMsAngel


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    RE: How do you use a bidet? - 10/25/2008 8:18:55 PM   
    everhope


    Posts: 2179
    Joined: 8/19/2007
    Status: offline     		we all know what to send Bita for her birthday.

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    RE: How do you use a bidet? - 10/25/2008 9:29:25 PM   
    BitaTruble


    Posts: 9779
    Joined: 1/12/2006
    From: Texas
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: cjan

    Sorry to go off topic a bit, Bita, but I'm wondering...how do you like Portugal so far  ?


    I'm not there yet, Cjan. I've only visited. Michael is there right now but will be home on Monday. Our official date to move isn't set as long as Michael is there no later than Jan 5th but it looks like it's going to be earlier than that.. maybe the second or third week of Dec. I should have more information when Himself gets home. We're pretty much packed and ready to go except for selling the car. I will say that when I was there, I fell in love but it's going to be really hard to leave my homeland. I'm looking at it as a great adventure though .. and in the end, it will be whatever Himself and I make of it. I have a feeling that means it's going to be very cool. :)

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    Profile   Post #: 34
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