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"Here's your sign..." - 12/13/2005 9:31:24 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.

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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President

And ..

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, VP

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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle

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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca

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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President

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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery

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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that
you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their
heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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RE: "Here's your sign..." - 12/13/2005 4:13:05 PM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline
I've seen this one before, but it is good.

It is however disturbing, these people make/made decisions that affect(ed) the country and look at it now. More disturbing is that they might be testing the stupidity of the public. Unfortunately I think alot of people passed the test. Just how many people didn't catch it ?

About the Dan Quayle one; for a guy who can't spell potato, Pheonix might really be in California.

I'll go through my back issues of AFP and see what I can find in the "Did they really say that ?" columns. I'll omit the ones that tend to boil one's blood. This type of stupidity is not confined to one administration, not at all. Bush and Cheney provide some material but Runsfield really does it, they call his utterances "Rumsfieldisms" I guess like a "Spoonerism". Spooner got famous decades ago basically for interpolating the first few consonants of a pair of words. Kind of like "You're a pretty fart smeller".

I'll see what I can dig up.

Keep it up, at least three of your posts were totally new to me, they will be at work with me soon :-)

T

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RE: "Here's your sign..." - 12/15/2005 4:57:51 PM   
Thanatosian


Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline
Illiterate? Write for help (followed by a Federal Government Agency address)
-- Poster seen on NY subway wall circa 1979

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Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

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RE: "Here's your sign..." - 12/15/2005 5:10:41 PM   
starshineowned


Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline
Lol..okay, thankyou for this post..:)

to funny


starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

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RE: "Here's your sign..." - 12/18/2005 12:59:56 AM   
ThatLilBrat


Posts: 149
Joined: 2/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that
you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina


Why do I actually believe this could ... or has happened ?


smiles and sunshine

that lil military brat

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Remember the three R's:
Respect for self;
Respect for others; and
Responsibility for ALL your actions and accept the consquences of your decisions

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"I didn't really say everything I said." - 12/20/2005 12:11:26 AM   
sissymaidlola


Posts: 518
Joined: 3/27/2004
Status: offline
Ah, so nice to see that the legacy of Yogi Berra lives on ....

sissy maid lola





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If i don't seem submissive to You, it may be because i'm NOT submissive to You.

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RE: "Here's your sign..." - 1/29/2006 11:49:04 AM   
Greybear54


Posts: 6
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatLilBrat

quote:

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that
you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina


Why do I actually believe this could ... or has happened ?


I used to have that job and it turns out that regulations require that a letter be sent to the recipient whenever benefits are terminated..No matter WHAT the reason for termination. Bureacracy in action.



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RE: "Here's your sign..." - 1/29/2006 8:20:24 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.


/starts to giggle

quote:

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca


/starts to really giggle

quote:

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President


Ok...that one did it

I actually banged my head on the chair when I laughed

/rubs the back of her head

ouch lol

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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