To whom it may concern (Full Version)

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foureyejack -> To whom it may concern (12/13/2005 8:48:28 PM)

I'm just writing, I think there are people like me out there. I'm not looking for answers because I found my answer and then lost it.
I'm one of those married men (you know a want-a-be) who lost his way and his love.
I went looking. Looking for sex, fun and adventure of the erotic kind. What I found suprised me. At first I thought that it was just curiosity and I was very pleased that some people showed intrest in me.
My first expeirence was with a sexual Domme. She trained me on line for a time which I found to be very erotic and exciting. I looked foward to hearing from Her. It gave me a reason to be, something to look fowaed to and work for.
I did meet Her but It didn't work out. I had concerns (it didn't fit) I won't get in to it here. I went looking for advice, right here at Collerme and found what I was looking for without even knowining it.
I learned what it is to be a submissive from this person! There was no sex! Something I thought I really wanted? I found something inside me that was more intense, something that explained my inner self. She answered alot of questions I had about myself.
One day I came home and was confronted by my wife, She found out about me and my Domme (I won't get into this too). Now, I had to make a choice, stay with my wife or leave?
I did tell my wife that I wanted an open marraige or divorce 2 months previously, and it was an on going thing for use. Things where not good and had not been for years.
I decided to stay, there where many reasons for my decision.
I end things with my Domme!
I regret doing that now, but it's something I'm going to have to live with.
You all may not agree with what I have done, I sure don't! I wish I knew what I was 20 years ago, but I didn't. I screwed up by leaving my Domme and not my wife.
Now I'm leaving my wife and I don't have my Domme.

Yes this is short and missing many details, but I had the need to write about this and maybe help othere's out there to understand.
Think what you will.



truesub4u -> RE: To whom it may concern (12/13/2005 9:01:10 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: foureyejack

Yes this is short and missing many details,


WOW....... you weren't kidding there. I know you said not looking for advice. Good thing because i'm stumped. All I can say is... Good Luck. But also, be happy with your choice you have made now. No need to dwell on the past. Just learn from it. May you again, find the happiness you had in one, with another.

Jessica



windy135 -> RE: To whom it may concern (12/13/2005 9:19:18 PM)

I say have no regrets! You tried to work things out with your wife it seems but they were just not workable. I'm usually not one of those happy go lucky life is sweet people. But take for granted that you can now discover even more about yourself. This lonely feeling you are having won't last forever. I wish you the best :)



Phoenxx -> RE: To whom it may concern (12/14/2005 12:23:11 AM)

I was married for 5 years and lived with my ex for 5 before that. There were many problems that I tried to work out. What I found is that if one person only is trying to row a boat it just goes in circles.
At one point my ex told me if I needed to step out on her, just don’t let her know.
It wasn’t long after that I became emotionally divorced. It just took sometime for my body to catch up.
I believe that to many people BDSM is as necessary to their living as food or water. And if you cannot get it at home, well you will be looking for it somewhere.
Sad, but true.
Tony



MissDiandSirHugh -> RE: To whom it may concern (12/14/2005 12:43:08 AM)

as already stated you did the right thing and stayed with your wife to see if that could be fixed or worked out but to no avail and we can only guess that the time with her must have had its good parts so you removed your self from your Dom to also appease your wife and her feelings so on all fronts you tried to make it work there but to no avail so now is the time to look ahead and to begin to search again and to discover a new horizon and what it hides over the top of it for you and we wish you well in your search.



sweetpettjenny -> RE: To whom it may concern (12/14/2005 3:20:33 AM)

sometimes cheating unfortunately works its way back at you. I hope you find what you want and not hurt a future partner doing so. Best of luck to you.



candystripper -> RE: To whom it may concern (12/14/2005 10:08:58 AM)

foureyedjack, i think most of us can empathise with your story and your present circumstances. Love and longing have made all of us fools, at least if we've lived long enough. You can find support here, on the boards, for whatever that's worth.

Meantime, though you specifically said "no advice"; i will tell you i have had things/people i loved wrenched away from me; at my age (52) i can either look back or forward; i cannot do both. So i look forward. Occasionally a thought about what i have lost will drift across my mind, almost shocking me, and i just say , "i'm happier now" and forget it.

i'm not happier because i have found my One (the search comtinues) but because of the recognition of what type of person i truely am; a submissive. And for the friends in D/s i have made who are blessings in my life.

candystripper



MizSuz -> RE: To whom it may concern (12/14/2005 6:28:33 PM)

Not all relationships are meant to be 'forever.' In this day few are. I have my own theories about why, but I won't get into that now.

Once you make a decision the only thing left to do is find the good in the experience. Otherwise you create your own suffering and it can be endless. Perhaps you needed to move out of a situation that was bad and the relationship with the dominant woman was the catalyst that enabled that; and that's all that relationship was really meant to be - a catalyst. Now you have a new beginning and a new, more experienced perspective and understanding of yourself. A new opportunity to create the sort of life you will be happy in. I'd call that a good thing.

I suppose you could just continually kick yourself over it, but do you get anything out of that?



LuvSponge -> RE: To whom it may concern (12/15/2005 8:42:25 PM)

I smell "I can't wait to read what I wrote" here.



fldrkhorse -> RE: To whom it may concern (12/16/2005 2:42:28 AM)

Life is to explored. We explore, we learn, and move on. The experience(s) was to teach you something, not to walk away disappointed or with regrets. Learn the lesson(s), apply them to your life, and become a better and happer human being.



slavejali -> RE: To whom it may concern (12/16/2005 3:13:39 AM)

Learn from your mistakes and move on



plantlady64 -> RE: To whom it may concern (12/16/2005 3:23:20 AM)

Hello foureyejack,
It took a lot of courage to come here and air your dirty laundry so to speak.
I wish you luck in finding not only a Domme to fill the new needs you have, but in finding out who you are as well.
Good Luck,
sub suzanne



SelkiePet1 -> RE: To whom it may concern (12/16/2005 5:41:18 AM)

I just want to say foureyejack, I'm sorry things didn't work out for you.

It must be really painful.

My master and I have often said how lucky we are that things worked out for us - and how agonizing if you are in a relationship and your partner doesn't share your passion.

I hope things work out for you - the positive thing is that now you are free to explore, without the guilt which can impinge on your enjoyment.

Keep well and keep in touch.



sub4mistressnsir -> RE: To whom it may concern (12/16/2005 7:44:48 AM)

foureyejack... we all have regrets over something but ya know what.. we live, we learn, we move forward..
Now for something funny.. I was married for 10yrs, we got divorce and are now friends.. we at the time wanted different things.. I wanted to explore bdsm he didn't at all... Now though 4 yrs after divorce, he is getting into the lifestyle himself.. He told me a week ago.. now I know what you mean and why you wanted it.. Although we will never get back together it is nice to know that both of us have found what we are/were looking for.
Moral of the story.. In time you find what you strive for.
~sub



AquarianButerfly -> RE: To whom it may concern (12/16/2005 4:02:53 PM)

Do not regret the choices that you made. They were learning experiences. Take what you have learned and enjoy life to the fullest, now that you know what makes you happy. Best Wishes and Good Luck



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