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loving - 3/4/2004 10:24:41 AM   
OnlyHis


Posts: 137
Joined: 2/25/2004
Status: offline 		Is it good for a sub or slve to love their Master? Or to fall in love with them. Is there a difference?
rose
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RE: loving - 3/4/2004 1:49:10 PM   
sub4hire


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quote:

ORIGINAL: OnlyHis

Is it good for a sub or slve to love their Master? Or to fall in love with them. Is there a difference?
rose


Just coming from my opinion, I guess it would depend on who your Master is to you.
Is he a play partner? Or is he someone who you are having a serious committed relationship with?

To me there is definately a difference from loving someone and being in love. Myself, I'd hope for it all within my relationship.

Gloria

(in reply to OnlyHis)
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RE: loving - 3/4/2004 3:24:01 PM   
OnlyHis


Posts: 137
Joined: 2/25/2004
Status: offline 		i will now answer my own questiohn .. i think there should be a certain amount of love for the Master. But i guess it would depend on the kind of relationship there is. i know i love Master but i am not in love. In my own opinion , at least at this time, there is no room for me to fall in love with Him. Not while i am still learning the many ways to please Him and to become the kind of slave He deserves. Maybe that sounds kind of cold to some but it works for us. For me.
Be well all
rose

(in reply to OnlyHis)
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RE: loving - 3/4/2004 4:11:47 PM   
blueiii


Posts: 19
Joined: 2/19/2004
Status: offline 		I agree that there is a difference between the two. Falling in love seems to have a more romantic connotation, while being in love seems to be founded on relationship issues like trust, support, honesty, dependability, and common interests.

I am in love my Master because of the extraordinary man he is and because he completes me through what we have together, but I am not falling in love with him. Within the context of our relationship (which is not 24/7) I love him. I hope that makes sense!

Peace,
blueiii

(in reply to OnlyHis)
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RE: loving - 3/5/2004 1:51:12 AM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		OnlyHis
your feelings, question and answer
are right with in the BDSM sence.

Being a Dominant whom can only
be INLOVE with another Dominant
thru past experiance and living.
I relate to this in the opisite manner.
I love My slaves, My posessions but
I am not INLOVE with them nor never
have been over My lifetime.

(in reply to blueiii)
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RE: loving - 3/10/2004 6:48:31 PM   
hisbijou


Posts: 41
Joined: 1/21/2004
Status: offline 		I don't know how one goes about giving the gift of submission without a Love for the Dominant or Master. love can grow just from the intimacy of the relationship, the nature of it. when You grow to trust Someone implicitly, or at least have the desire to grow in trust...love and respect follow. i have had Dominants that i thought i was in love with, but i recovered so rapidly from the relationships when i left them, that i realize that i was not in love at all. i think the main thing i am trying to say is that in order to love a Dominant or a Master, the submissive must first delight in herself/himself to the very point where they know they could be alright on their own, but are fulfilled and happy giving the Gift to the Dominant. love is complicated. for many, it is full of games and fright, uneasiness and dishonesty. however, i have been so fortunate to have had two great loves...who have taught me to love myself first. it is easy to become lost in the Master. submission is a wonderful hypnotic, the very best of drugs. i realize i have said a whole lotta nothing here. sorry about that. i love submission.
be well, and be in love with yourself...
bijou

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RE: loving - 3/11/2004 1:32:19 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
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quote:

ORIGINAL: blueiii

I agree that there is a difference between the two. Falling in love seems to have a more romantic connotation, while being in love seems to be founded on relationship issues like trust, support, honesty, dependability, and common interests.

I am in love my Master because of the extraordinary man he is and because he completes me through what we have together, but I am not falling in love with him. Within the context of our relationship (which is not 24/7) I love him. I hope that makes sense!

Peace,
blueiii


I agree with you blueiii.
The easiest way I have chosen to answer this question to people in the past is.
Being in love is lust and sex. Its how you feel when you first meet and those sparks are all there.
Loving someone is when you're ready to endure whatever comes your way. You've settled down a bit into the relationship for better or worse.

Just my 2 cents.

(in reply to blueiii)
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RE: loving - 3/12/2004 6:00:19 AM   
ShadowHwk


Posts: 158
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From: New York
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OnlyHis
Is it good for a sub or slve to love their Master? Or to fall in love with them. Is there a difference?
rose


Is it good for a sub/slave to love their Master/Mistress/Dom/Domme (MMDD)?

I think, that once the relationship reaches a certain level it is almost impossible for the sub/slave to NOT love their MMDD to some extent. I have often seen it progress from IN love at the beginning, and move into a more loving thing as the relationship matures. This is the somewhat natural flow of things, and parallels what happens in vanilla relationships; you meet someone, you feel attraction, you date, you fall IN love, you have some ups and downs, and eventually (if the relationship makes it past the initial ups and downs) a true bond begins to form, the basis for adult, mature love. So is it good or bad? Neither, it usually just is.

Is there a difference between loving someone and being IN love with someone? Yes.

Love, true love, in my opinion, is flexible, it is forgiving, it can bend without breaking, it has a quiet strength. Being "In Love" is seldom any of those things. When your IN love, your feelings are brittle, and easily bruised. Loving someone does not make you weak, just the opposite; it provides a flexible strength to a relationship, one that can withstand the ups and downs of the real world.

Now, with all that being said; NEVER underestimate the power of the initial “SPARK” – it can cloud your judgment, it can move mountains. It can be the most wonderful of times. And if you are VERY lucky, that initial spark can lead to something much deeper and richer than you ever thought possible.

Peace and Light
Terry
AKA ShadowHwk

(in reply to OnlyHis)
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RE: loving - 3/27/2004 10:09:03 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
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(in reply to ShadowHwk)
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RE: loving - 3/28/2004 6:32:48 AM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OnlyHis

Is it good for a sub or slve to love their Master? Or to fall in love with them. Is there a difference?
rose



Contrary to our society's popular notion, I do not agree that "love" is an emotion (noun). I believe that love is a verb. If it's not in action it's not love...it's just emotion. Most of us here can say that our experiences in the bdsm realm have led us to realize that emotion is manipulable. You can employ psychological factors, or even physical factors, to manipulate and change emotion. Therefore I believe that basing any choices on the emotion alone is a crap shoot.

I equate 'falling in love' to the emotional aspect described above. Since emotion is manipulable and changing it's quite possible to 'fall in love' with anyone. The question is do you give love? Does he give love to you? Is it active? The giving of love, or love as a verb, is more lasting....especially if you don't base your commitment to the giving on the existance of the emotion. This means if you can fall IN love then you can fall OUT of love. But once a gift has been given it is forever...you can't take a given love back.

I'm of the opinion that anyone who defines love as simply the emotion will eventually reach a place where it is not 'good' for them; but someone who can realize that the emotion is the by-product of the verb will understand that they have the power to make the GIVING of love good for them.

So you must define love for yourself. Is love simply an emotion to you? If so, how many emotions do you have in your life that NEVER change? Would you wish to base life choices on something so changing?

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to OnlyHis)
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