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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 9:55:22 PM

Venatrix

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Thank you for your kind words. I'm really not too keen on being spoilt rotten, but perhaps I could manage being spoilt just past my sell-by date.

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/4/2008 10:05:18 PM

Usako

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Of course I want to be spoiled! But not in the sense of me sitting around and never lifting a finger or being showered in gifts and money. Nor would I demand to be spoiled. A simple foot massage after a long day, to me, is being spoiled though people in this BDSM world called service.

*shrugs*

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/5/2008 4:08:21 AM

PeonForHer

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Venatrix,

It's strange how we sometimes need to see the reverse of what we want in order to figure out what we do want.
A bit of Hegel for you, then. Some thesis, antithesis, then synthesis.

Seriously, that "oppositional" way of thinking is so useful, I find. You don't know what "it" is unless you're also clear about what "not it" is, too.

I'm really not too keen on being spoilt rotten, but perhaps I could manage being spoilt just past my sell-by date.
You may feel the need to re-define yourself in terms of the sort of relationship you want, but please don't think of changing your style of humour or of writing. As they say, "If it ain't [sic] broke [sic] don't fix it"

For my own part, I'm not sure that subs generally expect the same level of pampering as people in general, as Lockit says. However, to me and using Akasha's own term, someone who's "spoilt rotten" is exactly that - rotten. There'd be a point where, for me, I'd begin to lose respect for the woman in question because, basically, she'd start to look like that child of five that you mentioned earlier. I wouldn't want a female version of Caligula as a domme . . .

Good luck in all, V.
x

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/5/2008 5:01:30 AM

chezzy71

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Years ago,i bought my late mom for Mom's Day three dozen roses and she was ticked.Why??"Flowers die "she said to me.Then she proceeded to tell how much better off she would have been had i bought her a jar of her favorite peanut butter or a litre of root beer.Now i am not telling all the subbies to go out and just purchase the aforementioned items and all will be well.But if you concentrate on the smaller things in life you know brings your Mistress pleasure,then all will be right in your world.At least i would like to think so.

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/5/2008 5:36:09 AM

Lashra

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I am spoiled, not spoiled rotten, but spoiled. I have never been the bratty type who demands her own way with everyone and everything. I've seen those type of men and women, they make me sick to my stomach.

My malesub knows how to please me and I please him. We take turns doing things for each other and around the house. I do not think I could live in a truly one sided relationship, where one person did all the giving and one did all the taking. In my opinion that just is not healthy.

~Lashra

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/5/2008 5:43:14 AM

ChampagneMojito

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Subs - are you attracted to women who have a high need to be pampered, spoiled, or treated exceptionally well? Does it add to the vibe in the relationship if you feel she's high maintenance, demanding, and has very high expectations with regards to how she is treated - from having an impeccable gentleman with opening doors, deferring to her, praising her a lot, doting on her, carrying her bags, etc? Is this kind of 'work' enjoyable or tedious, and more a side-effect of having a femdom partner?

Everything is earned, i just couldnt do such things if it wasn't fitting or appropriate. I appreciate and enjoy it immensely. Not everyone has such delightful method of expressing their respect and affection to another. I just love making and seeing her happy, and the way D/s throws this wide open is one of the things i like most

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/5/2008 9:44:54 AM

ShaktiSama

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I understand that the bratty or princess domme is a fantasy for some people. I've never been that sort of woman myself, and I don't find the fantasy very appealing. I was raised with ideals of helping and nurturing others deeply ingrained--so much so that they have obstructed my ability to express my dominant side in some ways.

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/5/2008 9:59:52 AM

aidan

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I could never be with a woman like Akasha describes in the first post. Hell, I don't think I could spend any time with her without making very dry, sarcastic jokes at her expense.

I like giving Mistress attention, doing nice things for her and giving her gifts when I can. If I felt like she didn't appreciate that, or was being abusive with her power in the relationship, I would be far less keen.

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/5/2008 10:30:49 AM

LadyPact

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My husband tells Me that I'm spoiled on a regular basis. I don't think he bases the comment on the things I receive or the gifts I get. In fact, one of clip's rules is that he's not allowed to spend a lot of money on Me. It's more about the fact that My husband loves Me enough to have the life that I do.

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/5/2008 1:21:45 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Okay, can I change my vote? I was at the nail shop and I peeked at the last look page of the November Vogue, with Reese on the cover... SHOEGASM. Totally. Deep blue strappy stilettos with a ZIPPER up the front! Deep deep deep lust.... and a mere $670!!

I am TOTALLY worthy of those shoes. Which cost as much as a month of my healthcare, pretty much.

So, anyone wants to be insanely generous, I am a size 8 shoe.

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/5/2008 1:32:10 PM

Lockit

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LOL LH... and to think, all I want right at this moment is some muscle to pack things up, get me around while van is in the shop and then pack the damn thing. I would think shoes by online shopping and ups doable. lol

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/5/2008 1:32:53 PM

PeonForHer

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OK, a link to a photo of those shoes, size 8, coming up soonest, Lady H. Nothing is too good for you!

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/5/2008 4:54:31 PM

Observer20

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
are you attracted to women who have a high need to be pampered, spoiled, or treated exceptionally well? Does it add to the vibe in the relationship if you feel she's high maintenance, demanding, and has very high expectations with regards to how she is treated - from having an impeccable gentleman with opening doors, deferring to her, praising her a lot, doting on her, carrying her bags, etc? Is this kind of 'work' enjoyable or tedious, and more a side-effect of having a femdom partner?

Absolutely not. A grown adult using their dominance as an excuse to act like a perpetual teenager does not turn me on. In fact, it would probably just cause me to grow contempt for the individual as the relationship went on.

< Message edited by Observer20 -- 11/5/2008 4:59:08 PM >

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/5/2008 7:14:40 PM

LadyHibiscus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

OK, a link to a photo of those shoes, size 8, coming up soonest, Lady H. Nothing is too good for you!

You're SUCH an excellent complimenter! Others should learn from your example!

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/6/2008 1:31:17 PM

slavekal

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As always, terms can have different meanings. Sure spoiled rotten can mean something awful. But in our world, it can also mean something really exciting and hot for a male submissive. Spoiled is often a huge chunk of the dominatrix personality. And a lot of us like it that way.

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/6/2008 1:43:45 PM

Lockit

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I don't like being on a pedistal because sooner or later, you are going to fall off. If I am the lil princess and spoiled because of a fantasy or hotness factor... what happens when I prove I am not all that... because sooner or later, I will? Treat me well... but idolization or too much spoiling... no thank you, because it will one day hit me in the face, whether it be by the man feeling taken advantage of, the fantasy wearing off or my own actions that prove I am not something or other. When I worked with men unhappy in their relationships, the number one complaint was that they felt taken advantage of and the next was about sex or money, thus my take on his sooner or later maybe feeling bad about how spoiled he wants me to be.

This doesn't mean I don't want to be spoiled because I am afriad it will cause problems. It is just one aspect of a whole and on a whole... I would rather just be me and not spoiled in certain ways. A good massage, lots of attention and all that are great, but to put me in a position that some try to do, just isn't for me for many reasons.

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/6/2008 2:14:51 PM

PeonForHer

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Oh no, does that mean dommes don't wear stilettoes in the bath, Lockit?

That's it, I'm off . . .

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/6/2008 2:28:30 PM

Lockit

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I don't wear stiletto's outside the bath... lol

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/6/2008 2:53:29 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Ladies, do you enjoy being "spoiled rotten"? Do you indulge in selfish behaviors, demand attention, want to be given things on a whim - whether it be attention or gifts?

As I define "spoiled rotten" the answer is no. I don't care to be showered with gifts, nor do I want to be constantly fawned upon. Unless it's my birthday.

However, I make no secret of the fact that I'm high maintenance. I expect to be put first in any relationship ~ before job, family, friends, or hobbies. I communicate this to all of my partners at the beginning of a relationship. If I'm not a partner's highest priority, the relationship is doomed. That said, I'm very family and career oriented, so I'll often take a willing back seat to my partner's job/family or find some means of compromise so that we all get our needs met.

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RE: Spoiled Rotten - 11/6/2008 8:12:20 PM

cloudboy

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There's nothing a man loves more than a high maintenance woman. Just think of how Michael Douglass took to Kathleen Turner in Romancing the Stone. It was love, peace, and harmony at first sight. Another great example is Robert Redford and Jane Fonda in the Electric Horseman.

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