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RE: Sexual Domination / Submission - 11/6/2008 3:33:43 PM   
FullfigRIMaam


Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline 		I agree, and understand that many people no longer know how to be around one another, without egos being accidentally stepped on.   How one comes to feel offended by a random act of kindness is lost on me.  I learned how a gentleman treats a lady from my father, and always apreciate it when random strangers hold the door open for me.
Something went wrong in the search for equality, in that we perhaps threw out the baby with the bathwater in some instances.   M

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"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Sexual Domination / Submission - 11/11/2008 8:53:38 AM   
flutter17


Posts: 14
Joined: 10/15/2008
Status: offline 		Wimpy is boring. Give me an alpha male that finds sanctuary in his submission (bedroom or otherwise) ANY day. Make him smart, independent and fond of my paddle and we'll get along just fine. Chastity device? Certainly - hand me that little box with the tiny padlocks in it.
 
I dont think I have the energy to exert my dominance everywhere. (I just got this mental image of a cat marking its territory) 'Vertical interaction' with an intelligent man always energizes me. If he were wimpy on ANY level, I'd have no interest in him.

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'Dont torture yourself, Gomez darling. That's my job' Morticia Addams

(in reply to SanDieoSub)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Sexual Domination / Submission - 11/11/2008 11:10:38 AM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina

Just to inform you...... males who are submissive outside of the bedroom are NOT wimpy, they are strong. Strong enough to serve a woman without seeing it as being wimpy...... they are strong enough to kneel at a womans feet, and lower their eyes with pride.
Posts about submissive men being wimpy make me cringe. It sickens me even more that they often come from men who want attention from dominant females. It makes me want to do non consensual things to the posters.


Nice post Ma`am

(in reply to UmbraDomina)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Sexual Domination / Submission - 11/11/2008 3:26:03 PM   
shymetalsub


Posts: 56
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SanDieoSub

I know this subject will not make me popular amongst all you lovely Mistresses, but it will probably raise a good discussion... and hell, maybe I'll learn something.

I would refer to myself as a sexual sub...  submissive in the bedroom, and only there.  I'm sorry but this is who I am.  Many of you would consider me a fake or a wannabe sub, but I my sexual submissiveness is not.  I want to be spanked while wearing panties, and made fun of when I get an erection.  Just the sight of handcuffs arouses me.  And this I cannot deny.

For many of you though, your dominance needs to be exerted everywhere.  Walking behind you, no eye contact, having you ordering my food for me, and so on.  My problem with this stuff (outside of being public which is a limit for me), is that im not a total and complete whimp.  Fact is that I am I man, just a sexually submissive one.

So my question is that are there any sexual dommes out there?  It's almost as if you don't even enjoy dishing out a solid spanking.  Or leaving a poor manslut in chastity device a few days.  All too often the male sub is critized for being selfish for wanting a spanking or a punishment.  But isnt it mutual? 

I know you ladies are going to rip me apart, and call me a wannabe, but I still like to see what you have to say... but know that I'm prepared for it and I won't be surprised by your response.






While it's not my thing, there's nothing wrong with being a purely bedroom sub, as long as you're honest about who you are. One shitty thing about the internet scene is that "authorities" on BDSM can just be prolific thread posters with a strong following, and some of these people like to tell everyone else what a "fake" sub is. I've seen a lot of people put down bedroom subs but lifestyle just isn't for everyone.

(in reply to SanDieoSub)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Sexual Domination / Submission - 11/12/2008 1:10:32 PM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		Basically it sounds to me as if you want to set the agenda which in my book makes you dominant.
You don't have to be 'lifestyle' but if you are a submissive in the bedroom then as far as I am concerned you do have to allow your partner to be dominant in the bedroom. Which to me means she takes control.
However if what you are saying is that you are a bedroom bottom ie kinky acts are negotiated then say that.
If you are submissive to a particular person you can't switch it off and on depending on circumstances.
I certainly wouldn't want anyone walking behind me unless it was for safety reasons.
Being submissive doesn't mean being inferior. It's a way of showing deep caring.
Allowing the other person to have things their way because that's what does it for you on some level. So it's a win/win situation.
So my advice is forget what you want unless it's the happiness of the woman you are submissive to. Or of course you can contnue being a 'do me' kind of person. You won't be alone.

(in reply to shymetalsub)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Sexual Domination / Submission - 11/12/2008 7:29:55 PM   
hairslave


Posts: 114
Joined: 11/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SanDieoSub

I know this subject will not make me popular amongst all you lovely Mistresses, but it will probably raise a good discussion... and hell, maybe I'll learn something.

I would refer to myself as a sexual sub...  submissive in the bedroom, and only there.  I'm sorry but this is who I am.  Many of you would consider me a fake or a wannabe sub, but I my sexual submissiveness is not.  I want to be spanked while wearing panties, and made fun of when I get an erection.  Just the sight of handcuffs arouses me.  And this I cannot deny.

For many of you though, your dominance needs to be exerted everywhere.  Walking behind you, no eye contact, having you ordering my food for me, and so on.  My problem with this stuff (outside of being public which is a limit for me), is that im not a total and complete whimp.  Fact is that I am I man, just a sexually submissive one.

So my question is that are there any sexual dommes out there?  It's almost as if you don't even enjoy dishing out a solid spanking.  Or leaving a poor manslut in chastity device a few days.  All too often the male sub is critized for being selfish for wanting a spanking or a punishment.  But isnt it mutual? 

I know you ladies are going to rip me apart, and call me a wannabe, but I still like to see what you have to say... but know that I'm prepared for it and I won't be surprised by your response.





-I would have to say up front that; If a man wants to walk in front of the woman in his life then, he can’t have much respect for Her. And in my opinion he is a loser.
-If he sees Her as his equal then, he well want Her to walk beside him.
-If he sees Her as a superior then,… he would see it as a privilege to be permitted to walk beside Her, and,… he would also be honored to walk behind Her if She were to want him to.
-If he adores Her then,.. He would also see it as a privilege to be even permitted to be seen in public with Her weather being expected to follow behind Her, or walk beside Her in public. He should also be willing to play second fiddle when She has a friend with Her.

-There is nothing wimp about it. Its just the way to publicly show Her due respect,.. It is not fearing Her.
-It would be wimpy to fear Her, and not to publicly show Her due respect.
-It would be wimpy to hold your self back from showing Her due respect in public no matter which of the above you fall under,… and fact, in my opinion,… in this case he is a LOSER!

_____________________________

Ture Love Is; Giving 110% with out expicting anything in return, yet,... gratfull for what little that comes back your way.

(in reply to SanDieoSub)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Sexual Domination / Submission - 11/14/2008 8:18:53 AM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		It's something my husband and I worked out when we acknowledged what we want is lifestyle.  I am pretty much a dominant all the way around...no trouble working out what I was! But Bear is a switch, and we had to work out what his role would be if we took a third who was a lifestyle submissive. So we settled that he is king consort to my queen regnant, and can help me with training and gentling of the new horse, and once trained to both our satisfactions can enjoy riding that horse too. And it doesn't mean at all that I won't occasionally take him in the bedroom and do awful lovely things to him.

You really have to settle it out with the person you're with. I wish you luck on finding the right one.

(in reply to hairslave)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Sexual Domination / Submission - 11/14/2008 8:27:12 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		I doubt that I'm the only one who has spent so many years hiding what I am, that you would never know if you met me and my boy out in public.  He is not just my sub, he is my FRIEND.  Actually, when we first met and I was experimenting with all the little 'expected protocols' to see what worked for us, I found it dreadfully annoying that he was walking behind me on the left as he was told.  I kept looking for him on my right because my husband normally takes that spot, one or two steps behind.  When in public, we present as simply friends the majority of the time.  Of course, considering the fact that my best boy is 20 years my junior, when I order for him and pay for his meals, most people just think I'm his mom.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Sexual Domination / Submission - 11/14/2008 8:33:33 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SanDieoSub

........

For many of you though, your dominance needs to be exerted everywhere.  Walking behind you, no eye contact, having you ordering my food for me, and so on.  My problem with this stuff (outside of being public which is a limit for me), is that im not a total and complete whimp.  Fact is that I am I man, just a sexually submissive one.

................




You know, what you describe sounds like being a mother and there is a reason why I decided to not have any offspring, simply because I don't feel like doing all of that....

Not sure if you are a sexual submissive or what you described is just your kink, if so, how about finding a partner with the same kink, might be easier than finding a Domme and you both might be unhappy in that situation because you are both not getting what you want


_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to SanDieoSub)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Sexual Domination / Submission - 11/14/2008 9:30:49 AM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SanDieoSub

I know you ladies are going to rip me apart, and call me a wannabe, but I still like to see what you have to say...


You're not a wannabe--a wannabe has to "wanna be" something real. You want just the opposite--you want a relationship that is all play, no reality of dominance. You're looking for a woman to serve you, help you live out your sexual fantasies on your own terms in a very compartmentalized way, and then submit to you according to the standard male/female dominance and submission stereotypes of our culture.

There are plenty of men like you. I wish you the best of luck. You don't need a domme: you need a very tolerant and giving vanilla or submissive woman...one who is willing to learn how to play your preferred games and please you.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to SanDieoSub)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Sexual Domination / Submission - 11/14/2008 9:54:04 AM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama


quote:

ORIGINAL: SanDieoSub

I know you ladies are going to rip me apart, and call me a wannabe, but I still like to see what you have to say...


You're not a wannabe--a wannabe has to "wanna be" something real. You want just the opposite--you want a relationship that is all play, no reality of dominance. You're looking for a woman to serve you, help you live out your sexual fantasies on your own terms in a very compartmentalized way, and then submit to you according to the standard male/female dominance and submission stereotypes of our culture.

There are plenty of men like you. I wish you the best of luck. You don't need a domme: you need a very tolerant and giving vanilla or submissive woman...one who is willing to learn how to play your preferred games and please you.


;)



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m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e


(in reply to ShaktiSama)
Profile   Post #: 31
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