RE: Question to all subs (Full Version)

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pinkwind -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 6:27:17 PM)

my nature, although being strong willed and self aware, has always been one of looking after the interests of others before my own, feeling a need to please without the need for the validation of others to my being pleasing, and feeling happiest taking my place in the background.

Don't get me wrong, i am not a shrinking violet, am able to take an active position and take the lead in certain arenas of life, but that said there was always the quietude of some form of service or other that felt comfortable to me.

Appreciating that i am wired submissive gave me the freedom to be myself in my relationships with others, and from there it has been an easy step to enslavement.



MasterTslave -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 6:33:16 PM)

I had always thought that it would be fun to be tied up and helpless and have someone fuck me.  I didn't know the extent of it until I met Master T (and married him).  I love the lifestyle (Master T always asks me if I am still ok with it).  I guess if you are with the right Master/Dom and you want to do it that is why.  I think we can all agree that the sub/slave is REALLY in the power position.  I have done some studies about this...without us, a Dom/Master has NO power...we GIVE them the power.  It is an exchange...but the sub/slave is the one with the final say.  I wrote about this on my blog the other day...strange that you would ask that, was going thru my mind the other day too :)



panthersub -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 6:47:53 PM)

Sounds like an issue i had with my parents. i'm submissive because i enjoy pleasing others and enjoying expanding my boundaries outside of the vanilla lifestyle.



PurpleSockx -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 7:04:09 PM)

That's a very difficult question to answer... Like many others who replied previously it's always been there for me. For as long as I can remember. I think you would ask 100 subs/slaves and would most likely get 100 relatively different answers =D

For me, I think it's about a feeling of "security". I dunno how better to describe it, really. And it's something I would definitely never get in a regular relationship (hate to use the term vanilla...) through being controled by my Master I get the feeling also to be taken care of. I like to say that, in some ways, subs & slaves are like kids. Maybe not all but I know that that description fits me. I want to be taken care of, having the feeling someone stronger takes ersponsibility for me and makes decisions for me. D/s is more give & take than it seems on the surface: I please him and in return I get that care & protection I need to be happy :)



esherazi -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 7:07:17 PM)

Hell I don't know.



NuevaVida -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 10:20:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Hanable

Why are you a sub or slave?



I was born this way, and it was fostered in my upbringing.



ProlificNeeds -> RE: Question to all subs (11/7/2008 10:41:00 AM)

I am heterosexual, I am sexually submissive.
*Shrugs* God/fate/chaos theory.. the stars were aligned just so to make me that way?
I am -happy- as a submissive partner inside my sexual relationships, I am -unhappy- without that power exchange dynamic in my relationships.



LydiaSciKitten -> RE: Question to all subs (11/8/2008 11:13:00 AM)

I am submissive because that's how I feel. Because being like that is being me, and when I can truly be myself I am fulfilled, complete and calm. Also because in my academic career and my other socialising I tend to need to make many decisions, to lead groups, to come up with ideas constantly, and I have this profound need in me to find a place to rest, to surrender and lose control.
Parents usually have a hard time understanding such choices. Mine disowned me.



leadership527 -> RE: Question to all subs (11/8/2008 11:49:38 AM)

Mine, has a generally submissive personality for the following reasons:
  • She prefers to avoid confrontation.
  • She's not entirely comfortable making decisions (especially those that pit her needs against those of anothers)
  • She likes to be pleasing
  • She's generally not that fussy (pretty flexible when given a choice between A & B)

She's (as Beth put it) chose to enter into a Master/slave relationship with me because
  • We ran across the fact that such a thing was possible
  • She trusts me to make smart decisions on her behalf
  • So far, it seems to be working out well so why not explore the rabbit hole further?

Really, for her it's pretty pragmatic.  For her there were never childhood fantasies or some early exposure to any BDSM material.  She just has a generally submissive personality and it came into contact with my generally dominant personality in the presence of information about dominance and submission.  Presto.



agirl -> RE: Question to all subs (11/8/2008 3:50:16 PM)

The simple answer for me is that I came across someone who enhanced my life with his captainship.

I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself but the crossings are SO much smoother with him at the helm. He's generally better at steering stuff toward the best possible outcome.

agirl



LPslittleclip -> RE: Question to all subs (11/8/2008 6:52:47 PM)

as long as i can remember i have always been helpfull and tried to help  others. it wasnt untill i was introduced to the lifestyle that i discovered that i was a submissive.
now it is something that i dont think i can do without in my life.



VMistressV -> RE: Question to all subs (11/8/2008 10:27:44 PM)

NOTICE: posted by valsboytoy, owned by VMistressV

why am i submissive?

so many people have said this before, but i'll reiterate: it's part of who i am. i just didn't know it until i met Mistress. after She introduced me to BDSM, i looked back over my life and thought, 'now it makes sense!' i have always had a huge fear of failure/disappointing someone, and i would go along with decisions i didn't care for out of a desire to please. finally i had an explanation.

why do i submit?

i submit because i love my Mistress, and wish to bring Her pleasure. submitting to Mistress allows me to surrender to Her will, and not have to worry about what to do next. whatever She wishes, i will do it, and it will make me happy, no matter the pain, because it pleases Her.



sublemonsublime -> RE: Question to all subs (11/9/2008 6:01:51 PM)

Why am I a sub? I won't bother delving into the developmental history behind it. In terms of now, regardless of the road taken to get here, I am submissive because being subjected to control and abuse evokes deep feelings and causes euphoria. In my universe of human interaction the dominant female whose sadistic impulses flay my soul eclipses every other sensation, pervading my awareness with a single focus of purpose, so that in serving her I am reduced to the essential element of pure love.



OttersSwim -> RE: Question to all subs (11/9/2008 6:19:15 PM)

 No other woman has made me feel this way and it just feels completely -me-.  I am finally at home in myself.





peppermint -> RE: Question to all subs (11/9/2008 7:23:00 PM)

quote:

Why are you a sub or slave?


Years ago I needed to find the answer to your question.  I read everything I could in books and on the internet.  I talked with people....always asking why why why.  This lasted for 8 months.

Then suddenly I had my answer.  The answer is that it doesn't matter why.  The important aspect is that I accept myself for what I am and that I love myself.  Simple.....and after I realized this....well, the question lost any meaning. 



mc1234 -> RE: Question to all subs (11/9/2008 9:37:17 PM)

[sm=agree.gif]  It just is.  Asking why became pointless to me.  Same as asking why I like pain.  I dunno why, but I do know that it makes my panties wet. 



offeredup -> RE: Question to all subs (11/10/2008 12:37:05 AM)

You said it for me, Wildhoneypie ("because it completes me...fills me with peace and serenity"), littlewonder (whether i'm sub or slave: "depends on who i am with and.. .how our power dynamic works out."), and Lilith13 ("it's love...")  Of the three, the most powerful for me, is that i'm madly, deeply in love...and like Lilith13, i want to lose myself in my love for her, and my being her slave, owned completely, is shortest, quickest way that happens for me.  It has to work both ways, and it does, in that she finds herself in owning me and in possessing -- without effort and voluntarily -- what she finds most precious...  Her goes more to the question for dommes, doms, tops, etc., proposed by ShiftedJewel. But then that doesn't make me a classic slave in the "Story of O" sense of being fungible with just any other slave, but only a slave within the dynamics my owner and i have defined -- i.e. - i have to be in love to be a slave.  Or conversely, i have to be able to be a slave to a woman to be in love with her.  For me, there is really no difference.  Being a slave is being in love...   



myotherself -> RE: Question to all subs (11/10/2008 10:47:29 AM)

~fr~

I'm a sub because after many years of failed relationships, a chance encounter with a dominant acquaintance made me realise that what I needed to 'fix' my broken relationships was a dominant man.

He was right - now I'm happy, content and confident in myself.

I'm sub because it's what I am, and what I need to be in order to be happy.




beargonewild -> RE: Question to all subs (11/10/2008 12:45:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hanable

ok.. me and my mother got into a .. argument i guess u could say. about why subs/slaves are submissives or slaves. i thought id go to the sourse and ask directly.

Why are you a sub or slave?

if you know why that is.. if not i understand.

H >:)


The only thing I can say being submissive natured is akin to identifying as a gay man. It is a part of who I am that forms an integral part of my being as a human. I do not know the whys and roots cause, all I know it is part of my self identity and that is all which matters.



cherrydoll25 -> RE: Question to all subs (11/10/2008 2:05:18 PM)

I dont think that this question has a defined answer.. I am who I am just because.... its just my nature... I couldnt ever see myself being anything else....it gives me great pleasure to please Daddy and I couldnt see it being any other way



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