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RE: Punishment Fantasy - 12/20/2005 11:20:14 AM

SusanofO

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This has been a clarifying thread for me. Thanks for starting it. I know I don't fantasize about making someone really angry either, and having them then act it out on me. My goal would Not be to make someone angry (even inadvertently).

My worst fear is someone who is out of control of themselves and either won't admit it, or doesn't know it - yet I have placed my trust in them and now have nowhere to turn. These fears mostly involve knives gone awry, but also somebody who just plain wants to beat someone up. I am not sure where these fears are from, but consider them self-preservative. I have never been knifed or severely physically abused. But - I don't like knives and always considered them kinda scary...(ditto for real abusers) anyway, I am digressing. Good topic, though!

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/20/2005 11:26:06 AM >

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RE: Punishment Fantasy - 12/20/2005 11:43:13 AM

MrBiguun51

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Susan
I think you should discuss your desires and fantasies with your Dom or companion
and set limits and then act them ou

remember

Safe Secure Consentual Trust
sounds you are just beginning in the lifestyle
so have a safe word and use it if situation becomes too intense

I am sure i mispelled some words but i did not enter a spelling contest maybe the spelling police will be kind

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RE: Punishment Fantasy - 12/20/2005 11:55:02 AM

SusanofO

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I'd love to, but... well, for now I am going to have to limit my fantasy discussion to online on this forum or elsewhere. In my profile (and I know it's waaay too long, I may edit it soon) I say my situation is, um, rather - complicated right now and may be so for the next year or maybe slightly longer). I am not sure what to do about it, but know if things were different right now, I would be Not be seeking online only discussion, although I completely understand when people do this, and if that is what some can deal with and how they want things, it is completley up to them. I hope what I wrote didn't offend anyone - I wasn't trying to be too graphic in a public forum (I hate that, don't you? I don't really mind that much and enjoy reading almost all of whatever people write, but there are limits...I hope I didn't exceed any). This thread does have an excellent topic and pose a very good question. If are trying to help me with your comment (which I assume you were doing), then I thank you. Very much.

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/20/2005 12:03:56 PM >

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RE: Punishment Fantasy - 12/20/2005 11:56:51 AM

snowgirlsub

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QUOTE:

I know.....that there will be punishment coming......and that pleases me and makes me ashamed at the same time...but also makes me feel
hmmm....special...needed ...wanted.....loved.
(BY SlutSub)

Very well said, SlutSub. I totally relate.

I frequently fantasize about being punished. I’m a light masochist and don’t like the physical pain that accompanies a punishment spanking…however I need a man that will take psychological control of me. Punishment represents his power in a tangible form. I crave it.

Snow

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RE: Punishment Fantasy - 12/20/2005 12:07:16 PM

MrBiguun51

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I had read your profile
although i must admit i had not read all that you wrote so i went back and looked at everything

I now think i understand. I was unaware that your husband was sick and in that condition. I do admire your loyalty to him.

What I wrote was intended to help, and hope you understand that I was in no way critising you.

hope I doid not offend

will gladly discuss things with you if tou wish
I am 54 so i am a little older than you
I too am in a commited relationship with no intentions of severing it
you may email me if you like or want to discuss things
[email protected]

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RE: Punishment Fantasy - 12/20/2005 12:11:58 PM

SusanofO

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I really appreciate what you said because the more I think about actually being in any of these sitautions for a first time, the more scared I am. It won't happen for awhile, and I am committed (very) to experiencing bdsm in real life terms, but this still scares the _ell out of me, even if I am looking forward to it. Is that normal? Online it is pretty easy to trust people, but in real life...I will, I know, however, never operate without having an agreed upon safeword, and it doesn't matter to me if that's "normal" or not (according to whoever), or what the "Story of O" says, or whether I ever need to even use it. Thankis for the advice - it is encouraging and I appreciate it.

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/20/2005 12:12:55 PM >

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RE: Punishment Fantasy - 12/20/2005 12:14:08 PM

SusanofO

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Thanks, I really appreciate that. I can use all the advice I can get and you sound like you have some good advice to give.

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/20/2005 12:16:45 PM >

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RE: Punishment Fantasy - 12/20/2005 12:23:21 PM

MrBiguun51

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and remember when you are ready to go for it in real life
get to know your partner really well
before getting into a scene or situation

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RE: Punishment Fantasy - 12/20/2005 12:35:48 PM

SusanofO

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Yes. I think I am really going to follow this advice, although it might be tempting not to - when you are playing with your own life, it seems that's something worth at least trying to preserve...I know I am going to want I.D. and also more than one or two meetings in a public place first. Because I think I will want a real attempt at a relationship, not just a scene, although there could be some of those that would be aLOT of fun, too.

But - as far as all of this relates to this thread - I'd think both partners would need to at least discuss what both consider play vs. pure punishment, so that in situations where a punishment were required (if any) there would be less confusion, and a punishment would be more likely to be just that.

Even if there might be people who will consider punishment pleasureable, it seems to me most Doms could find Something their subs completely abhor to the point it would provide almost no pleasure at all. Plus, knowing they've displeased their Dom (as this thread-starter noted) would be emotionally painful too.

So - in order to administer any kind of true punishment, I'd suppose a Dom would have had to bother really getting to know a sub.

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/20/2005 12:38:38 PM >

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RE: Punishment Fantasy - 12/20/2005 12:51:17 PM

SusanofO

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I think the control aspect (feeling emotionally controlled, and then having that control over me acted out on a physical level) is what I really relate to also. I relish the idea of both physical and emotional control being exerted over me.

I am not sure about the feeling ashamed part for me, but maybe that is because I have humiliation fantasies and would actually look forward to some of that - but then again I have very little real life experience (I seem to read a LOT though, about this stuff, hehe). In no way do I equate humiliation, though, with harsh degradation, which is a whole other ball game I am not interestd in at all.

I realize dintinguishing the two is all subjective, and so I think it probably is really important for someone to know (really know) their partner so they would be able to tell the difference and where they might be crossing a "point of no return" in terms of really damaging a relationship to an unsalvageable point.

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/20/2005 12:53:30 PM >

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RE: Punishment Fantasy - 12/22/2005 10:59:34 PM

snowgirlsub

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QUOTE:
I think the control aspect (feeling emotionally controlled, and then having that control over me acted out on a physical level) is what I really relate to also. I relish the idea of both physical and emotional control being exerted over me.
(BY Susan of O)

I can relate totally.

Snow

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RE: Punishment Fantasy - 12/22/2005 11:18:52 PM

cravinspankin

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yes... i fantasize about being punished.
Though I've been punished once and didn't like it at all.
I hate disappointing anyone, particularly a Dom.. so even if it's punishment involving pain, which i normally enjoy... i hate pain in that situation.
that said.. yes, i fantasize about punishment.. but more in terms of the control exerted over me by a man who is in a position to punish me than the act of punishment itself.
not sure if that makes sense to anyone but me, lol

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RE: Punishment Fantasy - 12/23/2005 8:55:47 AM

MrBiguun51

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scratching head
hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Ok I got it

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RE: Punishment Fantasy - 12/31/2005 3:04:46 PM

succumb2u

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u r not sick. I dream of being humiliated and punished all of the time, hoping to be made to cry. If I was collared, she would make me cry daily because that is how a pain slut such as myself needs to be handled if I am to remain her slut.

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