RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All?

RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? (Full Version)

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mummyman321 -> RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? (11/10/2008 4:25:48 PM)
If they are asking $350 an hour - That is not a tribute - They are just gold diggers Now if you are entering into a relationship - whether it is BDSM related or not - cards, small gifts, flower, toys, dinner should almost go without saying. But buying bigger gifts once in a while may get you better brownie points.

MsStarlett -> RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? (11/10/2008 4:59:02 PM)
Or shoes. Shoes are always good attention getters.

PeonForHer -> RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? (11/10/2008 5:27:32 PM)
One of these days, I am going to meet someone wealthy, who interests me, and is available. I'm afraid there's a play-off there, Lady H. I've seen it with various female friends' partners. They only get to be wealthy by working 25 hours a day. All divorced their hubs in the end citing "neglect" as the main cause of marital breakdown.

mummyman321 -> RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? (11/10/2008 5:37:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsStarlett Or shoes. Shoes are always good attention getters. Is it going too far getting her's & his matching thigh high boots?

MmeGigs -> RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? (11/10/2008 5:45:06 PM)
Like many/most other non-professional dominant women I don't ask for money/tribute/etc. I don't mind an inexpensive thoughtful gift from an admirer, but I don't expect gifts and don't think badly of fellows who don't give them. I tend to shy away from fellows who want to give lavish gifts or cash. It makes me really uncomfortable. I'm also a very poly kinda gal and really enjoy co-topping and have no problem with sharing my partners with others. With that in mind... If I ask a guy what he's looking for and he tells me, "A mean Mistress duo to inflict verbal abuse and light pain upon my body and mind without having to pay for their time," I'm going to tell him to save up his money and hire professionals. This kind of thing from a total stranger is a turn-off. I'm sure it's as big a turn-off as having a stranger ask for expensive gifts or cash before she'll agree to meet. I'm not against three-or-more-somes, and really enjoy co-topping with me femdom friends, but I'd like to think that a fella would want to focus on me a bit before telling me he wants me to set him up with someone else. If he answers, "For me, it's all roleplay. The mean, lashing out at me at any given time aspect, and liking me at the same time is what, essentially I'm looking for in a relationship," my reaction would be entirely different. He's talking about liking each other - that's where I want to start - and about a relationship. These are things that have to happen on some level before any play is going to occur. Getting my femdom friends to help me torture him comes later, after I've had my chance to mess with him. So, bottom line... If you (general you, not the OP specifically) want a relationship with someone kinky who is a good fit for you personally and generally shares your kinks, put your primary focus on the relationship aspects rather than on the kink. If you're primarily looking to experience a particular scenario and your relationship with the other participants is a secondary consideration, focus on saving up enough $ to hire a pro. For the OP specifically, if you really want the Mistress duo, you will have better luck finding this if you're active in your local kinky community. Women you meet there are more likely to have real-life femdom friends who will co-top. If you are pleasant and likeable, you will likely find playmates who'd enjoy the kind of scene you have in mind. Threesomes can be rather difficult for people without kinky friends to arrange.

MsStarlett -> RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? (11/10/2008 5:48:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mummyman321 quote: ORIGINAL: MsStarlett Or shoes. Shoes are always good attention getters. Is it going too far getting her's & his matching thigh high boots? No, not at all. As long as the 'hers's' is 'mines's' . [:D][:D][:D] Check out my latest journal entry for details

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? (11/10/2008 6:36:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer One of these days, I am going to meet someone wealthy, who interests me, and is available. I'm afraid there's a play-off there, Lady H. I've seen it with various female friends' partners. They only get to be wealthy by working 25 hours a day. All divorced their hubs in the end citing "neglect" as the main cause of marital breakdown. My dear, the truly wealthy do not work, their money works FOR them. [;)]

Politesub53 -> RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? (11/11/2008 12:48:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsStarlett Or shoes. Shoes are always good attention getters. As are boots Ma`am [8D]

LadyConstanze -> RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? (11/11/2008 5:31:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zengiz Tributes and a whole slew of other money-orientated gifts, treats etc. but mostly money is expected to cover for their time. How would a sub with low income go about approaching a Mistress without "money" being the benefactor? Cheers! Not really, but there are subs out there who seem to have a "do me" approach, I recently ran into somebody who had a laundry list of things he wanted to have done to him, part of it required expensive disposable equipment, because part of the things did in fact interest me (hadn't done them in a while and was salivating a bit), I told him to rent dungeon space, I would bring all the equipment and got a lot of abuse back that I wasn't willing to cover the rent of the space too (which after checking it out turned out to be a lot less than the equipment needed, and that was only the disposable equipment). I was more than displeased and told him to take his laundry list to a pro-domme. I think if you are willing to show appreciation, that goes a long way and you don't have to be rich to show her that you don't just expect, be a bit creative and bring her little things you notice she likes, the fact that you are willing to pay attention and that you are trying to make her life better should go a long long way.

MsStarlett -> RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? (11/11/2008 5:38:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Politesub53 As are boots Ma`am [8D] But the boots cost more. I'm not greedy or overly demanding. I like little things... Like recorded serenades from poor boys across the pond.

zengiz -> RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? (11/11/2008 7:11:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsStarlett Or shoes. Shoes are always good attention getters. That didn't get me anywhere. I forked out a huge sum of money for a pair red leather boots for a "Goddess". I was foiled into believing she was of white skin colour, but was terribly disappointed to find out she is not, and what's more, she has yet to meet me. Women, master online money manipulators for desperate suckers like me.

UmbraDomina -> RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? (11/11/2008 7:24:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zengiz quote: ORIGINAL: MsStarlett Or shoes. Shoes are always good attention getters. That didn't get me anywhere. I forked out a huge sum of money for a pair red leather boots for a "Goddess". I was foiled into believing she was of white skin colour, but was terribly disappointed to find out she is not, and what's more, she has yet to meet me. Women, master online money manipulators for desperate suckers like me. Perhaps you should try real life BDSM events,munches,meetings, and parties where you can meet people in person. As for skin color...... ummm wow can we say shallow? you want a dominant woman to accept you as you are, including poor, mouthy, and a bit of a woman hater, why would a woman's skin color be a issue? Perhaps when you move past your shallow ideals of what a dominant woman is or should be you will start meeting people without the shallow ideals about money.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? (11/11/2008 7:26:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zengiz quote: ORIGINAL: MsStarlett Or shoes. Shoes are always good attention getters. That didn't get me anywhere. I forked out a huge sum of money for a pair red leather boots for a "Goddess". I was foiled into believing she was of white skin colour, but was terribly disappointed to find out she is not, and what's more, she has yet to meet me. Women, master online money manipulators for desperate suckers like me. Sorry, but you lost me with "foiled into believing she was of white skin colour" - I wouldn't have any issue when somebody says he or she is more attracted to a certain hair or skin colour, fair enough, but you make it sound like being of any other ethnic origin makes somebody less worthy and I'm fresh out of sympathy for anybody with those tendencies.

zengiz -> RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? (11/11/2008 8:17:28 AM)
Each to their own. I'm no more shallow than the next person. Before I was rudely cut off, I was going to say, but it will probably leave me in deeper hole than I already am now! I have no idea how to grab the appreciation of a Mistress. Maybe you can assist me in that department, LadyConstanze.

AAkasha -> RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? (11/11/2008 8:26:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zengiz Each to their own. I'm no more shallow than the next person. Before I was rudely cut off, I was going to say, but it will probably leave me in deeper hole than I already am now! I have no idea how to grab the appreciation of a Mistress. Maybe you can assist me in that department, LadyConstanze. Don't send any woman money or gifts unless the pleasure you receive from the act is the ultimate goal. If you want something in return for your "gift," it is a transaction, and you are better of handling it as a business transaction, ie, "I am sending you x in return for y." Don't trust that some random person on the Internet is going to hold up to their end of the deal either; at least a reputable pro in a professional dungeon will have some accountability. If you want to meet a woman for a personal relationship and get dominated "for free," expect that you are going to pay in another manner: Time. It will take time to nurture and cultivate a relationship. How long? Weeks, months or years. The process will go faster the more aggressively enhance your visibility and the more attractive you are as a man. Get yourself out to public events in your area or increase your visibility on the message boards, demonstrating a thirst for knowledge and open mind. On the vanilla front, date women who are outgoing, exciting, open minded. Keep your social calendar full. At the same time, work on your charm skills, your classiness and your style. Have a sister or female friend advise you on a haircut, the right clothes for your body type and look that will give you confidence and make you feel good about yourself. Dominant women (most women in general) are attracted to men with good self image. Read a book about etiquette and dating. Akasha

zengiz -> RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? (11/11/2008 8:40:28 AM)
AAkasha; thanks! Everything with regards to image and class, style etc. is in perfect condition. My profile and photo is testament to that. All that is needed is a slight boost of confidence. I have been to a few events, and from experience they have been rather flat in that all the women, or dominant women, seem to be impatient, and rude. At least here in London. Maybe I ought to move to the USA.

AAkasha -> RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? (11/11/2008 8:43:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zengiz AAkasha; thanks! Everything with regards to image and class, style etc. is in perfect condition. My profile and photo is testament to that. All that is needed is a slight boost of confidence. I have been to a few events, and from experience they have been rather flat in that all the women, or dominant women, seem to be impatient, and rude. At least here in London. Maybe I ought to move to the USA. Have you been to Club Pedestal? http://www.clubpedestal.com/main.html A semi regular poster here (male, sub) seems to have success there. However, he is undeniable cute, sweet and quite charming. It's clear you are a little bitter and resentful and suspicious - you will need to put that aside and be positive, upbeat and open minded. If you have had bad experiences at this club, what were they? Akasha

LadyConstanze -> RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? (11/11/2008 8:55:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zengiz Each to their own. I'm no more shallow than the next person. Before I was rudely cut off, I was going to say, but it will probably leave me in deeper hole than I already am now! I have no idea how to grab the appreciation of a Mistress. Maybe you can assist me in that department, LadyConstanze. Sorry, I don't think I can, I might foil you into believing my skin is a certain colour. quote: Everything with regards to image and class, style etc. is in perfect condition. My profile and photo is testament to that. Well, in that case I simply do not understand where your problem is, there should be a line around the block.

PeonForHer -> RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? (11/11/2008 9:41:34 AM)
I recently ran into somebody who had a laundry list . . . Dommes are forever talking about subs and their laundry lists. I wonder if any sub, anywhere, ever, has turned up for his first meeting with a domme with an actual laundry list? Swiftly moving from "hello" to frenziedly asking questions along the lines of "Oooh Mistress, do you want me to whip off my clothes so you can wash and dry them? Shall I wash all your clothes too? " However, that would be quite silly and is therefore unlikely to have happened, I imagine.

Politesub53 -> RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? (11/11/2008 10:51:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsStarlett But the boots cost more. I'm not greedy or overly demanding. I like little things... Like recorded serenades from poor boys across the pond. I can sing in key Ma`am, just not the same key as the music. [8D]

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