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subbisherri -> RE: 1st time (11/16/2008 2:04:06 PM)
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Having occasionally been thrust reluctantly into the same role, there's a few good points I had to learn:
If it's because someone wants to enjoy living vicariously through your topping, let them have a lot of input from afar: hand signals, eye signals, body language. If it's really for their fun more than yours, it might be more fun to let them channel their control through you rather than expect you to take the role on all by yourself. On the other hand, if it's really more about Master seeing how you act in a role in which you're not comfortable (ie: maybe it's more about how YOU react rather than the person you're topping?), then:
Communicate communicate communicate. Gee, does anyone else not see that communication is so important no matter what sort of relationship or role? Discuss, question, debate, et al.
BUT! when your bottom says, "Oh I'd like to be in this position," don't just go, "Okay" while he/she assumes that position: take control, order them into said position. If they ask to have the clothespins on their nips replaced with clovers, fine but make them beg for it. Don't acquiesce, be in charge. Order, demand, control and rule.
And if that's totally contrary to your nature, rationalize it by the fact that Master is willing to let you do this and revel in the freedom implied, or Master WANTS you to do this and accept that it's HIS will and not yours at work here.
And please please please follow up and post how it's working out?
ss
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