QnofH3arts
Posts: 35
Joined: 6/19/2004
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MizSuz
The point I was trying to convey to the original poster is that I find people coming to me with their kinks tedious and tend to react in a 'disinclined to accommodate' way.
Once someone has ingratiated themself to me, once I have developed a bond with someone that is based on who we are as people, then their likes and dislikes and how they want them to manifest are important to me and I take them into consideration when I find myself WANTING to 'scene' with them. That's not to say that once I like you I'll give you what you want, it's to say that I will care enough to use the information to create whatever end I am trying to create. Until I care about you as an individual there is nothing to create, until I WANT to play with you trying to get me to play is going to piss me off at best. Usually it gets met with complete disengagment...
... trying to get me to accommodate a kink leaves me dead cold.
I feel exactly as You do regarding the above, Suz. I couldn't have said it better Myself.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Dan8
I don't know if the above answers represent a good enough sample , but can I conclude that Mistresses don't get off, and don't usually plan to get off, when they use a strap-on? And, that most don't feel the need to get a strap-on with an innie? And even if they get an innie, it's not to get off, just to feel good?
And that the trip for her is in her head and is about control and dominance, not about how it feels physically to her . Did I get it right?
I have only had one submissive with whom I've used a strap-on. I consider that act to be as intimate as traditional intercourse and refuse to engage in it with just anyone. However, with him, I did "get off", both mentally and physically. I had planned to "get off". My strap-on did have an innie and I enjoyed that immensely. The "trip" for Me was about power, control, dominance, intimacy and sensation.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Dan8
What does it do for the sub? Does it rub a G spot like the prostrate? If so why aren't they angled downward to rub it better? Are most subs able to get off being "done", or does it just make them hot, or is it just a mind trip for the sub in being so humiliated? Or do the subs build up a taste for it in due time?
I can only relate from My singular experience here. It was important for Me, given the relationship, that My submissive was also able to "get off" from strap-on penetration. And, he was able to do so as a result of said penetration. I think for him it was the same as for Me; a combination of mental and physical: being controlled, humiliated, taken, the intimacy and the sensation. Angle did not seem to affect his ability to orgasm.
quote:
ORIGINAL: MistressZanthia
And Dan, the wife thing, you are approaching it from the wrong perspective. Try doting on her, rubbing her feet without waiting for her to ask, try serving her breakfast in bed, try doing the dishes the moment dinner is done. Anything and everything you can do without her asking you to do it, that lightens her daily load is going to make a huge difference in how she feels at the end of the day when it's possibly "play time". Be a submissive not a "do me queen" and you might end up with a dominant wife. Can't guarantee, but it's not going to work if you keep pushing her, she'll end up resenting you for it all instead.
Keep pushing her and I promise she'll never be your Domme. Why? Because it'll never be fun for her, you will be just another chore on her list of things to do.
Amen, Zanthia. Dan, this is the best advice you could receive here. It may not seem "easy", but if you are a submissive, then SUBMIT. Ask your wife what SHE wants, show your willingness to abide by HER wishes. Then, like NIKE says, "Just do it." Make HER life a pleasure. She may surprise you.
I can't tell you how many women have said to Me, "He's just another chore on my list of things to do." That's a sad commentary on the differences between men and women and men's lack of understanding of all we women carry on our shoulders.
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RE: What does the Mistress get out of a strap-0n? - 
Profile
. Since hubby became my Dom over a year ago all aspects of our marriage have improved greatly. We've been married 36yrs. I worry about your wife's complacency with you seeing prodommes. How can that not undermine your marriage and your efforts to improve things? What other things have you suggested to her? Have you tried some light bondage? Floggings? That's where we started. Maybe having her use a plug on you would be more acceptable than a strapon, or a precursor to one. Another thing that has helped us is watching bondage videos together. I hope things work out for you. 
RE: What does the Mistress get out of a strap-0n? - 
RE: What does the Mistress get out of a strap-0n? - 
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