candystripper -> RE: Straight Woman Blues (12/23/2005 12:49:21 AM)
|
quote:
candystripper, I have read your profile (didn’t realize that you used to post under pinkpleasures, I’m slow to catch on sometimes) and some of your posts on the board. My impression is that you have set up a lot of conditions and expectations for a potential partner. The higher your expectations the smaller your pool of viable applicants becomes. While none of this is a bad thing, it does increase the amount of incompatible men and as a result your frustration from having to weed through them all. I also have high expectations, but I try to balance that with making sure those expectations are reasonable. The perception that I have from reading things you have written is that you have the expectation that your partner will satisfy all your needs and that you will satisfy all of theirs. It is my belief that no one person can satisfy all of someone’s needs. I have a fabulous relationship, but it is unreasonable for me to expect that he will be able to satisfy every need I have and it is unreasonable for him to expect that I will satisfy all of his needs. This is not a plug for poly relationships or bi-sexuality either. Poly is difficult when all parties desire it, so I would never advocate entering a poly relationship if you prefer to be monogamous. But just to consider a different perception that you do not have to be everything for someone else and they do not have to be everything for you. There is a difference between giving all that you have and being everything. One thing I have also discovered, is that many things that were on a “never” list are now the things that I crave and enjoy the most. Our image of self is constantly changing and only limited by our imaginations and the courage to try new things. Knight's kyra i am bumfuddled at how you could read my profile and come away thinking i wish to meet all a Man's needs and i wish Him to meet all of mine. i speak of children and parents; of friends. i say i will not reliquish my friends for a Man. If time permits, i'd appreciate it if you could email me a pointer or two that made you feel i wished no one else would be in our lives. Please do not post your remarks on my profile here on the boards. i don't know what to make of your last paragragh; you say you're not "plugging" bisexuality or pologamy; but then you say you know our self-images are always in flux and what was once unacceptable is now desirable. To me, this is a part of the "bluesy" effect straight women suffer: as if we're too stupid or fearful to try bisexuality or pologamy and thus cutting off our noses to spite our faces. IMO, BDSM should be flexible enough to allow for the possibility of monogamy between straight people. If two lesbians want a monogamous relationship, no one raises an eyebrow...but if two hetero people want this, we're "living in a fantasy land". i know i can be peaceful and happy without a Man; but i'd be distraught and heart-broken if i started a relationship with a Man and He stepped out on me. i passed the "must have a boyfriend" stage decades ago. Some things are not negotiable with me. i'm like anyone else; i think my "orientation" is fine and that other people should accept me as i am. i am prepared to move heaven and earth to make my One happy and i am expecting sexual and emotional loyalty from Him in return, amoung other things. candystripper
|
|
|
|