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CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Age and BDSM (11/24/2008 12:06:45 PM)
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Over the years I've had companions across the range of ages from 20+ years my junior to 30+ years my senior. The one thing they all had in common is that we shared a capacity to 'grok' -- we didn't always agree, but we did seek out some kind of intellectual homeostasis among us. We all became more skilled at the arts of gracefully agreeing to disagree, and of expressing divergent ideas without stomping all over our mates. For me, those were the most valuable of talents, and even though the level of ego in our household tends to be ... to paraphrase Yogi... "Bigger than the average bear." we've managed, over the years, to avoid pissing one another off so much that we can't stand to live with one another, and still manage to have an affectionate home -including- heavyweight debates.
My experience has been that, in general, it takes a really self-aware and mature person to survive among us. That seems to hold true regardless of whether we're talking about 'familial' bottoms, servants, 'familial' tops, resident neutrals, or keepers. Age, while not irrelevant, is less of an issue than capability to exist in a household with -very- strong personalities, hold one's own without losing oneself or annoying the crud out of everyone else, and still being capable of both acknowledging when one is wrong and accepting responsibility for such -and- being able to let others hold their own opinions without feeling the need to force them to one's own way of thinking... even when one disagrees with them vehemently. Though we've had companions who have managed this at all ages from late teens to early 70s, by -far- the most common range to combine both wisdom and flexibility has seemed to be in that early 30s-mid 60s range. That wouldn't stop us from looking outside that range, but I have to admit it would be a harder 'sell' for me.
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