RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard? - 11/24/2008 7:02:12 PM

Posts: 628
Joined: 10/31/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Ladies, when you receive an introductary email that says "I got hard looking at your profile," do you think "creep" or "right on!"?

Akasha

Well ew,no if that is someting I wish to know and cannot see for myself I will ask ... if such is put in an intro message from a complete stranger...sure way to get the message tossed away. Now I really ponder do Doms/Masters/male sub/slaves etc get mail saying * I get wet just looking at your picture*from a total stranger... could this be the defining difference between the sexes in this area... where such an intro to a Domme/Mistress/Female sub/slave etc would come off as icky or creepy .. would it come off as a compliment and a door opening for a relationship if the sender and recievers sex were reverse.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard? - 11/24/2008 7:09:02 PM

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: undercover00756

This whole thred cracks me up. No, i don't tell women about my arousal out of context and you would be safe wearing alow cut dress around me. but if I look and smile take it as a compliment not as an opportunity to act like there is something wrong with me!

I've noticed that, in my year on this site, it seems to be okay for the females to talk casually about their nipples, their breasts, their bum, their vagina and their clitoris, but heaven help us if the topic of hard cocks comes up. That's just all eeewww and yucky. When my profile was active, I specifically requested no cock shots, at least to start with. Not that I have anything against hard cocks, but because I wanted to get to know the person first - after some of the photos I've seen it would have been difficult to think of anything but the gentleman's equipment. Sometimes I have to check that I'm still on CollarMe and haven't accidentally wandered onto the Disney web site. I'm not saying that we need to be vulgar, but prudishness seems just plain odd.

(in reply to undercover00756)

RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard? - 11/24/2008 7:11:37 PM

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: undercover00756

So many put up sexy pics then get offended when men react...go figure!

So if a woman dresses sexily that's an invitation to hear about boners?
Maybe we should all dress in trashbags.

Akasha

Then the guys with a plastic bag fetish would write to you about their boners.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard? - 11/24/2008 7:45:04 PM

Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline

It's one thing for me to say to my Boy on IM, "I was thinking about doing X next time I see you," and for his response to be, "omg, ma'am, i get hard at the very idea of it...do, please!" It is quite another for a random guy to say something about the state of his cock.

I don't care about your cock. I care about your mind. Show me you have spicy brains and I might be interested in the dimensions and state of your equipment.

(in reply to hardbodysub)

RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard? - 11/24/2008 8:26:08 PM

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AlexandraLynch
Show me you have spicy brains and I might be interested in the dimensions and state of your equipment.

Pardon the momentary thread de-railing... but did anyone else suddenly start thinking of zombies when they read "spicy brains"?

No? Just me then? Right... back to your regularly scheduled thread.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to AlexandraLynch)

RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard? - 11/24/2008 9:18:16 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

~FR~

When I want to know, I'll ask. Until then, he can keep his mouth shut. I don't ever want that information in an intro email. Of course, I delete 99% of the mail that comes from a screen name in any shade of blue. If they're writing that sort of garbage in the first email, I don't know about it.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to MadameDahlia)

RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard? - 11/24/2008 9:44:57 PM

Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

A man should have better sense and better manners than to mention the state of his cock in an introductory email. If I like him as a person, I'll eventually be very interested in his penis--but not until then.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard? - 11/24/2008 10:00:49 PM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

Love the pic Shakti!!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to ShaktiSama)

RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard? - 11/24/2008 11:20:02 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

I don't want to know or hear about a guy's penis in an intro e-mail. Actually, I don't want to hear about ANYTHING sexual in the e-mail. If, after talking with him, there is an attraction the subject might come up...so to speak. I may ask or he might slip and say it and depending on the connection I may or may not be repulsed.

I like the penis and I like sex but I don't like it from just anyone. I don't think it's prudish to filter which cocks I want to hear about. And no, I'm not one of those who goes on talking about her vag, nips or anything of the sort as someone mentioned in a post before.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard? - 11/25/2008 12:02:58 AM

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I don't take it as a compliment to have a guy get a hard on. It isn't like that is something rare! When I am ready for such things I will let them know and many times will expect to know, but until then keep it to yourself because if you tell me you will be gone. I don't annouce when I am wet or whatever. That is just private information and I feel rude and going too far if I am not involved with the person. If we are talking sexually and it happens, okay... I brought it up or allowed it in a sense, sometimes I will share maybe too much in a post or something about sex, but never on a personal basis until I think it is time.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to Usako)

RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard? - 11/25/2008 1:14:33 AM

Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline

The appropriate time to tell me one is hard is when I ask, or when we know each other well enough to know that I would apreciated hearing his reaction to something I've said or done. Otherwise, it's inappropriate, though not terribly offensive in and of itself/if he otherwise is a gentleman. M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard? - 11/25/2008 4:42:46 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i need to know if my pet is hard because of the tiny pins inside his chastity belt. whenever he has an erection from thinking about me to hearing my voice on the phone, the pins will prick him ...and it really hurts the harder he gets - plus he's unable to remove the belt.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard? - 11/25/2008 6:52:57 AM

Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sleuthingsub
Oh if only humans had a baculum, then we'd always know...

::looking up 'baculum'::

_____________________________

'Dont torture yourself, Gomez darling. That's my job' Morticia Addams

"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

(in reply to sleuthingsub)

RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard? - 11/25/2008 6:58:27 AM

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Unless you are in a personal relationship with someone (you both need to acknowledge you are in that relationship, it can't be just your fantasy) you should keep such arousal information to yourself unless asked.

Once you are in a Ds dynamic I assume you'll have ground rules and protocols for such information.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard? - 11/25/2008 6:59:58 AM

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

If I am not actually IN the room with him, his hardness or lack thereof isn't horribly useful to me. Unless he's on the phone... hours of entertainment, as Venatrix, says!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to undercover00756)

RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard? - 11/25/2008 7:08:29 AM

Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline

much the same on my opinion, can't imagine just blurting that out, if they wanted to know, then they can ask me, otherwise i'm going to assume that "they", like "me", don't care much.

stating "i'm hard" in my opinion is a lot less like a compliment, and much more as though you are for some reason trying to inform the other as if they're obligated or you expect them to do something about it.

on the other end though, when someone tells me they're wet, i'd probably take it as a compliment or simply as just being overall a "good thing" if not for the fact i'm always in a bit of disbelief; sort of a "what? no way! it's not because of me..." response, but that might be because of how scarcely i hear it, not to mention i feel as though i've ever done enough that would trigger such a response. it might be rubbish, but i look at a man getting an erection to be about as insignificant and unexpected as breathing, but "getting someone wet" as being more of a challenge or at least an accomplishment of some measure, or just more rare in the sense that saying "i'm wet" actually holds some merit in telling the other, where as saying "i'm hard" is basically like... "well no shit!".

in the same way though, i assume that if they're telling me that there's a reason for it, and it's probably because they're trying to "allude" to something. still, due to the obvious, i do however have the good fortune of not being offended or creeped out by them saying it to me, and when they do say it, it "means something".

< Message edited by hopelesslyInvo -- 11/25/2008 7:16:36 AM >

_____________________________

great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard? - 11/25/2008 7:13:08 AM

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: undercover00756

So many put up sexy pics then get offended when men react...go figure!

Reaction is what I want. Being a beast is not. I get TONS of emails about my photos and our couples ones. The vast majority of them sound more like "Wow, sexy photos" and things like that.
I do NOT consider giving someone a boner to be a compliment. A stiff breeze can do that with some men, after all. And they are on a site dedicated to BDSM, so it likely isnt JUST my photos that have done so, in chich case I dont see a reason to be appreciative of having a supporting role in their boner.

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to undercover00756)

RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard? - 11/25/2008 9:38:23 AM

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

Okay, for those women who are putting up sexually suggestive photos and complaining about the response, do you seriously think men are looking at your photos and saying to themselves, "Wow! She looks like a really nice person. I'd like to have a cup of tea with her"? If that's your assumption, it means you are either woefully unaware of male sexuality or are being disingenuously coy.

When I had an active profile, my main photo was of me in thigh-high boots. I chose that photo in the hope that it would encourage men to read my profile and write if they thought we'd be a good match. Did I know I was going to get all sorts of silly email about "worshipping" my boots, along with various other assorted bodily parts? Of course. But that's going to happen on a site like this. For me to get all pissy about men expressing their sexual desire of me when I've deliberately encouraged it would be absolutely daft. If you don't like the replies you get, perhaps putting up photos of you in sweatpants and a sweatshirt *would* be the best thing. Otherwise, just delete the email and move on.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard? - 11/25/2008 9:54:13 AM

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

Good point, Venatrix. In line with the various comments here, I've changed my policy. When I write to dominas now, I only mention when I've drooped. Thus, for example:

"Your interest in pussy worship and catsuits was intriguing and stimulated my cerebral cortex most engagingly. However, your vanilla interests - which include crotchet-weaving, watching Polish tractor movies and Polynesian pottery before the 16th century AD - rendered me completely flaccid".

I'm looking forward to those amorous replies. Ding dong!!

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to Venatrix)

RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard? - 11/25/2008 10:12:43 AM

SomethingCatchy

Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline

^^ Is it normal to laugh this hard?

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: When is it ok for a submissive to tell you he's hard?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.043