tendergirl
Posts: 103
Joined: 11/25/2005
Status: offline
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I recently joined Collarme and have found it a wonderful site. I have gotten to know many new friends and come here for support and advice each day. I am 43 years old and have only been able to put a name to my inner self. I never knew that a "submissive" person existed, even though that is what I am.
I have met a wonderful Master through Collarme. I was very cautious and very detailed on my original profile as to what I wanted, and what I would and would not do. I made a few online mistakes as I was new, but soon learned the etiquette and protocol for safety and happiness.
I read SM101 and Screw the roses, they really helped me. I experimented with my own bondage restraints alone (safely) to decide what I really do and don't like. I put much thought into this and was careful with myself.
I went onto Albany Power Exchange and Castle Realm for advice as well.
In the end, I spoke to hundreds of Doms online before I chose one to give my private email addy to. He then offered me HIS mobile number. We chatted that way for many, many hours, experimenting with telephone discussions about scenes, preferences etc.
We then met for a vanilla lunch and day out. It was obvious from moment one that we were compatible in all ways with the same vanilla tastes as well as the bdsm tastes. I found someone who's kink exactly matches my kink. Fantastic.
It is early days yet, but it appear that we have made the right choices. We are spending New Year together and have already scheduled meets every fortnight (we live 300 miles apart) all the way up to April 2006.
I am not daft though and I pay close attention to this man and watch for any signs of danger to myself. Our first scene was beautiful but I did not realise that my own normal self had problems that would transcend into the scene (I was quite pent up and had fantasy of rough play). I was accommodated somewhat but this was upsetting to my new Dom who is not violent in any way. Nor is he sexual in a scene.
For all those new subs out there who have fantasy lives in their heads about being forced into bondage and into sex, please stop and listen, submission is not always about sex. Some Doms don't want that. My new Dom wants control, total control of my body. He does not want to control my mind or my vanilla life. He knows what He wants and I did not listen at first and was quite battered and bruised up because I would not let him lead the scene. I just took off into fantasy.
I did not allow Him to care for my body as He wanted to and this means that I suffered from my own foolishness and it also upset Him greatly as He is a loving and caring man.
Anyway, this life is beautiful and after all these years, I am finally whole.
Good luck to all of you and thank you so much to Collarme.
love from tendergirl (owned by Gman50)
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