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RE: To CAPITALIZE or not ? - 11/30/2008 4:34:21 PM

PeonForHer

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Did she really tell you to write like that when talking to people other than herself, bratb?

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RE: To CAPITALIZE or not ? - 11/30/2008 4:37:18 PM

LadyPact

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I don't know if she has, but clip sure does it. There was another thread on the subject where someone asked him why he did such a thing. My sub had the perfect answer:

"Because M'Lady told me to."

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Post #: 62

RE: To CAPITALIZE or not ? - 11/30/2008 4:46:28 PM

Politesub53

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I don't know if she has, but clip sure does it. There was another thread on the subject where someone asked him why he did such a thing. My sub had the perfect answer:

"Because M'Lady told me to."

As with many thing, this is the only answer. Do what is requested of you. This isnt being a doormat, it`s being submissive.

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Post #: 63

RE: To CAPITALIZE or not ? - 11/30/2008 5:38:24 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I don't know if she has, but clip sure does it. There was another thread on the subject where someone asked him why he did such a thing. My sub had the perfect answer:

"Because M'Lady told me to."

I think a hard limit for me, re rules imposed by 'my domina' (god it feels silly using that phrase now, so hypothetical is it!), would involve my interactions with others. But if your relationship with clip doesn't have such a hard limit, and bratb and partner's doesn't, then, fine. Ultimately, the way other people choose to write is of scant importance to me. My respect for them isn't going to stand or fall on such things.

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Post #: 64

RE: To CAPITALIZE or not ? - 11/30/2008 5:50:47 PM

mantis65

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Things like the so called “protocols” for capitalization and addressing a Dominant (I address them by their nick unless other wise told) as mistress or maam depending on their personal “protocols” is just a way I believe to generate needles Drama. I Remember one Dommes profile pointing out that subs can only address her in a certain way but never as mistress because that’s a term only collared slave can use. Anyone other than her subs using the term mistress are blocked by her for being ignorant of her proper protocols. She may have a point but…..being preachy and rude in her profile she comes of as very unpleasant. Its not what she said its how she said it. My point with the capitalization and 3rd person talk it seems artificial…. forced ..fake.

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Post #: 65

RE: To CAPITALIZE or not ? - 11/30/2008 6:16:07 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
I think a hard limit for me, re rules imposed by 'my domina' (god it feels silly using that phrase now, so hypothetical is it!), would involve my interactions with others. But if your relationship with clip doesn't have such a hard limit, and bratb and partner's doesn't, then, fine. Ultimately, the way other people choose to write is of scant importance to me. My respect for them isn't going to stand or fall on such things.

Which is all well and good. Though I find the tern "hard limit" for such matters to be rather extreme. People toss around the "hard limit" phrase for a lot of things that really don't hold that kind of importance. Another subject entirely.

It would be My opinion that protocol is one way to understand if two people are compatible. In clip's case, he was trained from the beginning to be a high protocol sub. In fact, he thrives on it because of the structure involved.

A Dominant imposing the way a sub interacts with others is not that uncommon.

ETA.... To mantis. Where's the drama?

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Post #: 66

RE: To CAPITALIZE or not ? - 11/30/2008 6:35:05 PM

Lockit

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Not wanting total strangers to call me what is special to my very own submissive is not drama. It is something earned by him and he (when there is a he) would most likely find it displeasing that what he worked for, I allowed others to do. I do not wish to be called mistress or goddess and I don't feel it is dramatic of me to take that stand. I only wish people did call me Lockit rather than some of the things they do. lol

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Post #: 67

RE: To CAPITALIZE or not ? - 11/30/2008 6:47:36 PM

persephonee

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i had an opportunity to be trained in a more high protocol situation than i have to date been exposed to...and i was truly trying to find a way to fit this person into my life somehow, mostly for the knowledge that would be gained from such training....

But, honestly, the capitolizing and typing protocols she wanted me to perform really impeded any sense of intimacy that i was trying to forge with her to get myself to the point where it would possible for me to feel able to submit to her....<shrug>...actually, now that i think about it, i didnt even trust her enough to tell her that that was a major reason for me taking myself out of consideration....hmmm. It wasnt a long distance thing, we were local, but we would have been doing a lot of communicating via IM and text and honestly, it really messed me up. i have yet to have a dominant man ask the same of me...especially in the very beginning.

i wonder, if the protocol is introduced later in the getting to know you phase, if that would be better or worse?

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Post #: 68

RE: To CAPITALIZE or not ? - 11/30/2008 6:55:52 PM

Lockit

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I have seen this work for many.. the high protocol and everyone was happy and in long term relationships. If it works for you and I can see some benefits to it in some situations with some people. I just don't happen to be able to work with that one. When I first started out, most I was around did use it and I learned a lot from them, but I am much more relaxed and different and focus on other dynamic's which I could be pretty anal about if they didn't go my way. lol I would not be relaxed at that point. lol

I have had it said so many times, that I didn't seem dominant. Until one of those important things to me... and then there was no doubt. lol I kind of liked those moments actually. hehe

I have used the caps thing before and it served a purpose at the time with that person. But as a whole, it was between us and in certain places and I typically have a hard enough time monitoring my own dingy brain these days... I need things easy! lol

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Post #: 69

RE: To CAPITALIZE or not ? - 11/30/2008 7:04:34 PM

LadyHibiscus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

But, honestly, the capitolizing and typing protocols she wanted me to perform really impeded any sense of intimacy that i was trying to forge with her to get myself to the point where it would possible for me to feel able to submit to her....<shrug>...actually, now that i think about it, i didnt even trust her enough to tell her that that was a major reason for me taking myself out of consideration....

That's exactly why I am not a fan of those kinds of protocols in my primary relationship, because they put up barriers, rather than establish intimacy. My minions can capitalize away.

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Post #: 70

RE: To CAPITALIZE or not ? - 11/30/2008 7:09:17 PM

LadyPact

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Hello perse. It's just My own opinion, of course, but I think a consideration period is exactly when protocol uses and expectations should be laid out. A lot of folks these days don't even seem to use the term consideration anymore, but how else do we describe that time frame where D and s come to a decision about what they want and if they want the dynamic with the person on the other side of the kneel? I sure don't call it "dating" because that's a different concept entirely.

It would seem to Me that it wasn't the caps protocol that was the problem in your situation. By what you wrote, there was a little more going on than mis-matched protocols.

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Post #: 71

RE: To CAPITALIZE or not ? - 11/30/2008 7:12:31 PM

persephonee

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Mebbe so...but i really felt that there was a disconnect emotionally and apparently this taught me that i, in fact need some sort of emotional tie to the person before i am in a position to be considered anything....i literally was so focused on not fucking up the IM's that when she asked me direct questions that required a heartfelt answer i would get so nervous that i would ask to email the responses later....and then wouldnt be able to do even that...it was a strange thing....

sorry for the hijack...commence thread.

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Post #: 72

RE: To CAPITALIZE or not ? - 11/30/2008 7:15:50 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
I think a hard limit for me, re rules imposed by 'my domina' (god it feels silly using that phrase now, so hypothetical is it!), would involve my interactions with others. But if your relationship with clip doesn't have such a hard limit, and bratb and partner's doesn't, then, fine. Ultimately, the way other people choose to write is of scant importance to me. My respect for them isn't going to stand or fall on such things.

Which is all well and good. Though I find the tern "hard limit" for such matters to be rather extreme. People toss around the "hard limit" phrase for a lot of things that really don't hold that kind of importance. Another subject entirely.

It would be My opinion that protocol is one way to understand if two people are compatible. In clip's case, he was trained from the beginning to be a high protocol sub. In fact, he thrives on it because of the structure involved.

A Dominant imposing the way a sub interacts with others is not that uncommon.

ETA.... To mantis. Where's the drama?

'Hard limit' doesn't feel too extreme a phrase for me, LP. Writing's a great deal of what I do in my life - it's too important to me. Writing to her's one thing - writing to others involved in BDSM, maybe - but writing elsewhere? No, I couldn't have anyone else control that. More fundamentally D/s, for me, is bound up with the private realm, anyway.

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Post #: 73

RE: To CAPITALIZE or not ? - 11/30/2008 7:27:28 PM

MsStarlett

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Ok, I re-read some of what I wrote earlier and it came off a lot harsher than I meant for it to be. If a D/s relationship involves having the sub type a given way, that's cool. That's their thing. The ones that annoy me are the sub males who type all their private C-Mails to me that way when I have not asked them to do it. It's like they are trying to impress me with what good, well trained subbies they are. I hate that. Until I accept a man into my service, I just want to be treated like a human being and a friend... not a Ghoddess on a pedistal. After they MEET me or get to know me and start actually FEELING that way toward me, then it's fine if it puts them in their little sub space. But it's something that they do for themselves, not because I required it.

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RE: To CAPITALIZE or not ? - 11/30/2008 7:28:49 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Exactly, Ms S!! It's the same thing when they tell you that they are wearing a buttplug when you didn't tell them too. Whose protocol are we following, eh?

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RE: To CAPITALIZE or not ? - 11/30/2008 7:36:32 PM

mummyman321

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Okay....just to be clear......if you have not accpeted my service yet it is OKAY for me to wear a butt plug when writng you an email......I just cannot tell you that I am wearing that butt plug when writing you.

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Post #: 76

RE: To CAPITALIZE or not ? - 11/30/2008 7:42:20 PM

Lockit

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ROFL... don't they do it in honor for us?

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Post #: 77

RE: To CAPITALIZE or not ? - 11/30/2008 8:10:06 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

Okay....just to be clear......if you have not accpeted my service yet it is OKAY for me to wear a butt plug when writng you an email......I just cannot tell you that I am wearing that butt plug when writing you.

Frankly, I think that's rather lacking in style, MM. Me, I like to take a more romantic approach on first contact. I tell them that, in loving respect of them, I have a rose stuck up my bum while I'm writing.

They never reply. We live in an arid and soulless world, IMO.

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Post #: 78

RE: To CAPITALIZE or not ? - 11/30/2008 8:13:30 PM

LadyHibiscus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

Okay....just to be clear......if you have not accpeted my service yet it is OKAY for me to wear a butt plug when writng you an email......I just cannot tell you that I am wearing that butt plug when writing you.

Frankly, I think that's rather lacking in style, MM. Me, I like to take a more romantic approach on first contact. I tell them that, in loving respect of them, I have a rose stuck up my bum while I'm writing.

They never reply. We live in an arid and soulless world, IMO.