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this is such a dead forum. where are all the switches? - 11/30/2008 7:15:28 PM

AStudyInScarlet

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surely there are more switches than are posting here

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RE: this is such a dead forum. where are all the switches? - 11/30/2008 7:21:34 PM

lovingpet

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Yes, but it seems it seems for the most part it is the same basic sets of questions/complaints to which to respond. I don't enjoy defending why I am the way I am, that I actually do exist, and that I am not confused or playing the field. My mode of operation varies based on chemistry and really cannot be contained in a quick post entry.

If it were more seeking each other's perspectives versus indulging curiosities and biases, it would be more interesting. That said, I haven't had a question lately that really had anything to do specifically with being switch. If I ever do, I will post it. I just hope when such a thread comes along this subsection of the community will be a little quicker to speak in assistance than we are in defense.

lovingpet

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RE: this is such a dead forum. where are all the switches? - 11/30/2008 7:50:20 PM

AStudyInScarlet

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i'm surprised that the posters here are so critical of switching and the switches have to be on the defense. if there was ever a group of people who shouldn't throw stones... this is hardly a bunch who can criticize others' sexual deviance!

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RE: this is such a dead forum. where are all the switches? - 11/30/2008 7:57:35 PM

Usako

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I don't post much on this forum because the topics aren't generally interesting. Other parts of the forum are. I get bored of the usual "Why I'm a switch" "Why are you a switch" "Are you more of a dom or sub switch" "What type of switch are you" "When do you switch" "How do you switch" "Wat makes you switch" etc...etc...

People do judge a switch harshly it seems, just like some homosexuals will look down on a bisexual. But I personally don't care. I'm not posting here to hide my switch-ness or anything...this forum is just rather dead and boring.

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RE: this is such a dead forum. where are all the switches? - 11/30/2008 8:32:38 PM

MsLadySue

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I suspect there are more switches posting than any of us realize. Not everyone is upfront about what turns their crank and I don't blame them.

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RE: this is such a dead forum. where are all the switches? - 11/30/2008 8:58:14 PM

AngelLink

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I have to agree with lovingpet

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RE: this is such a dead forum. where are all the switches? - 12/1/2008 1:40:07 AM

SteveAndJaz

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and we agree with MsLadySue

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RE: this is such a dead forum. where are all the switches? - 12/1/2008 1:47:14 AM

IntellectualPro

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I'm here! Switching is a beautiful capacity to enjoy more of what this life has to offer, at least in one sense. Many of the topics in this particular forum should be nicely bound up ;-) into a series entitled, "The Switch's Dilemma".

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RE: this is such a dead forum. where are all the switches? - 12/1/2008 2:05:15 AM

E2Sweet

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Last one to leave the forum, be sure to turnoff the light...

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RE: this is such a dead forum. where are all the switches? - 12/1/2008 6:06:16 AM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

My mode of operation varies based on chemistry and really cannot be contained in a quick post entry.

lovingpet

Hello folks,
Perhaps this is the crux of the matter. I don't think anyone has put up this kind of expectation. On many of the other forums, there are often, long, well thought out, insightful entries - nothing quick about them. Explaining the simplest, smallest thing can take awhile. Explaining something of complexity requires logic, openness, and the time and willingness to express it.

There was recently a thread on cuckolding in which a young man explained what happened, his feelings as it happened, and how his relationship grew after it. Well, I had never understood this particular fetish before, and found it a fascinating read. Several people commented on how much they learned from it - all because one man took the time and had the chutzpah to express himself so completely and deeply.

I'm not dissing the switch folks, not a bit. But I am saying that if you don't like how YOUR portion of things are working, perhaps YOU might fix it. A little elbow grease, and this side can be as spiffy as you wish it to be. So AStudyInScarlet, perhaps you might pose a question that is in depth, thought provoking, perhaps even personal?

well wishes,
sunshine

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RE: this is such a dead forum. where are all the switches? - 12/1/2008 6:36:52 AM

Aneirin

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I gave up with this forum long ago, it was only seeing the title of this thread that drew me in for a nosey, but I would have to agree, this forum is always the same, same topics, same answers, but worded differently.

I see switch as a free mind, or open minded and easy going, but I can see how others struggle to understand, those that take it all too seriously.

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RE: this is such a dead forum. where are all the switches? - 12/1/2008 7:21:01 AM

lovingpet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

My mode of operation varies based on chemistry and really cannot be contained in a quick post entry.

lovingpet

Hello folks,
Perhaps this is the crux of the matter. I don't think anyone has put up this kind of expectation. On many of the other forums, there are often, long, well thought out, insightful entries - nothing quick about them. Explaining the simplest, smallest thing can take awhile. Explaining something of complexity requires logic, openness, and the time and willingness to express it.

There was recently a thread on cuckolding in which a young man explained what happened, his feelings as it happened, and how his relationship grew after it. Well, I had never understood this particular fetish before, and found it a fascinating read. Several people commented on how much they learned from it - all because one man took the time and had the chutzpah to express himself so completely and deeply.

I'm not dissing the switch folks, not a bit. But I am saying that if you don't like how YOUR portion of things are working, perhaps YOU might fix it. A little elbow grease, and this side can be as spiffy as you wish it to be. So AStudyInScarlet, perhaps you might pose a question that is in depth, thought provoking, perhaps even personal?

well wishes,
sunshine

That's just the thing. I have taken a great deal of time and energy to explain things and it never seems to quite cover everything adequately. The problem lies in the fact that it is what has to be done over and over again with each new post on that kind of subject matter here. Further, after a most thorough explanation, the reactions usually fall into two catagories: "I don't get it" (though there really must be no attempt to try because things were pretty well laid out) and "I understand what you are saying, but I think this just means you're a ........." (fill in Domme/sub as it suits you). After putting heart and soul into a response, I am still at square one with a person. It's disheartening.

As far as thought provoking and personal type questions and posts, when something ever has something specifically to do with being a switch, then I will place it here. More frequently, I need to ask from the perspective of the position I am experiencing and, therefore, it is posted in the submissive or dominant forums. General question in which I want both sides or the position of the poster does not seem to really matter, but is not specific to the fact that I AM both go to the general boards. It is rare a question is brought to bear solely from dealing with specific switch issues or dynamics. If ever I did, I would place it here and hope the breath of fresh air in this forum would be appreciated.

lovingpet

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

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RE: this is such a dead forum. where are all the switches? - 12/1/2008 7:22:28 AM

lovingpet

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Oh and I agree with MsLadySue as well. Being private with regard to orientation is common and some would say wise given some of the stigma that can go along with it in some folks' minds.

lovingpet

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RE: this is such a dead forum. where are all the switches? - 12/1/2008 8:27:16 AM

sunshinemiss

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Hi loving pet,
I understand your perspective. I know I've written a number of reality based responses in the past on other forums (I don't usualy venture over here becuase I'm 100% on the s side of things). There are a couple of people who are all black and white and can't see life as the complex, shades of grays, pastels and jewel tones that it is. I too have been frustrated with that kind of "you're an idiot because you are not doing / being / feeling x".

But this is turning into quite a good thread, no? Perhaps the question really is "why don't switches post more frequently" or "How can we make this forum more active?"

Just for the record, there have been similar frustrations on other boards.

well wishes,
sunshine

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RE: this is such a dead forum. where are all the switches? - 12/1/2008 9:35:29 AM

HisLadyAlways67

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Switch here! <3

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RE: this is such a dead forum. where are all the switches? - 12/1/2008 10:23:11 AM

lovingpet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Hi loving pet,
I understand your perspective. I know I've written a number of reality based responses in the past on other forums (I don't usualy venture over here becuase I'm 100% on the s side of things). There are a couple of people who are all black and white and can't see life as the complex, shades of grays, pastels and jewel tones that it is. I too have been frustrated with that kind of "you're an idiot because you are not doing / being / feeling x".

But this is turning into quite a good thread, no? Perhaps the question really is "why don't switches post more frequently" or "How can we make this forum more active?"

Just for the record, there have been similar frustrations on other boards.

well wishes,
sunshine

As I recall, there were concerns expressed on the Master's board back awhile ago. I am not saying it cannot be turned around. I just rarely have anything that is best addressed by fellow switches.

I just tend to feel responses to threads on this forum are only appreciated by other switches as a general rule. Those supposedly seeking to understand something are rarely compelled to reconsider their position based on new information. Why ask if you are just going to disregard the answers you receive? This has been true on other threads in other forums, but it is rampant here.

I have no problem assisting in the understanding of another, but do not appreciate that time being wasted. There are times that it even feels like a personal slight and I just am not at a place that I handle them well. I have enough questions for myself without someone imposing more. Generally, suppositions about my "actual" position in this lifestyle come in the form of mail on the other side. The kindhearted lovingpet you see here is not who they encounter when they decide to determine for me who and what I am.

Redundancy bores me. There are debates, questions, and issues I do not discuss anymore on all the boards because I just feel like it has been asked and answered so many times just with different angles on the same basic theme. The debates are the same and there is never resolution, so I take the wise course and just walk away. Occassionally, I will post something that says, ".... and I am done with this." When I say that, I don't come back to revisit it on that thread either. Sometimes, in my mind, it means I am done with ever having such a discussion again. Points made, ignored, and subsequent beration for my position does not bring out the fighter in me. I just walk away while my opposition jumps up and down and talks him/herself blue in the face. I choose not to leave myself open to the irritating behavior of others. My near silence on this forum is an example of that.

Maybe I am just not a patient person. I will always do my part to improve a situation rather than complain about it, but in this case it is just not often I have the opportunity. As switchies are welcomed on other boards, by all means stop by and share your thoughts over here when you desire. That will help improve this forum as well. There is nearly a phobia from unimodal D's and s's to post here. I appreciate you posting here at all. Everyone is responsible for the health of this forum because everyone can have a valued opinion here, just like any other.

lovingpet

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RE: this is such a dead forum. where are all the switches? - 12/1/2008 2:03:01 PM

DavanKael

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< waving hello > Proud to be me and am here, though I frequent the other sections more-so because of the more diverse array of topics. :>
Davan

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RE: this is such a dead forum. where are all the switches? - 12/1/2008 8:42:04 PM

AStudyInScarlet

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while the things we are interested in are covered on the other forums, the frustration i'm running into is exactly what sunshine said:
"There are a couple of people who are all black and white and can't see life as the complex, shades of grays, pastels and jewel tones that it is. I too have been frustrated with that kind of "you're an idiot because you are not doing / being / feeling x"."
i'm getting annoyed reading responses on the other forums and would like to see the same kinds of topics, but discussed by people who do not see in black or white, D or s, wrong or right. they seem very set in their beliefs and can't fathom of anyone doing it or feeling it differently. i want to have my questions answered by other switches. what i'd love to see is for this forum become more active and fill that need for open-mindedness.

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RE: this is such a dead forum. where are all the switches? - 12/1/2008 9:04:15 PM

AStudyInScarlet

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in other words, i don't think this forum has to be limited to switch specific topics. i would like to see topics of any range answered by switches, hence the name "ask a switch".

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RE: this is such a dead forum. where are all the switches? - 12/2/2008 10:25:21 AM

DavanKael

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I am not really sure what a "switch specific topic" is, truly, and I've identified as a switch as long as I've been aware of the term. I think anything from the D-section could apply, anything from the other s-sectionscould apply, and I don't personally have any quandries about switchdom. What sort of "switch specific topics" would you proppose? I'll give them a look! :>
Davan

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May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
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It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
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Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
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