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What is a switch? - 12/2/2008 2:17:14 PM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		In my perpetual research into the human minds I finally ask this long postponed question.
 
I am not interested in an answer like "Sometimes a switch dominates and sometimes a switch submits". I want to know the qualities of the mind of a switch.
 
Hm, perhaps I ought to start a poll?
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RE: What is a switch? - 12/2/2008 3:36:28 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		I'm just a me. A me is a girl who thinks too much. My mood changes as do my desires. I'm not full sub because I honestly like to be pampered and in control. I'm not full dom because I do enjoy giving myself to someone else. When trying to explore this BDSM I noticed none of the titles really fit me and I dislike lables, the idea of switch was the closest thing. It's usually not "sometimes I feel like a this and somethings I feel like a that" I'm usually in neutral mode and don't actually activate, I guess, unless I react to someone.

The qualities of my mind are...hard to explain. It's all over the place. Up and down, in and out. I doubt that has much to do with BDSM and more to do with just my own oddness. I think even if my mind were more stable I wouldn't want to just be one or the other. I know everyone does things their own way but honestly, reading posts from submissive women scares me. It's not how I want to be at all. Same goes for reading dominant women's postings, though they seem to be more relatable than a submissive woman to me. Not to say I'm more dom than sub, just that my versions of each of those things are very unique, or maybe they just don't fit with the majority.

I was raised by a strong woman and that's what I want to be. I don't want to be barefoot and pregnant or always on my knees serving some master. But I do want a strong man by my side who can be dominant in a way that I need. And a strong man who can be submissive to me in the way that I need. Perhaps I'm too "I centered" to be a "twue submissive" but I think with a good partner, it would change to "we/us centered" instead.

(in reply to Rule)
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RE: What is a switch? - 12/2/2008 3:58:58 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline 		I suppose I'm a switch because there are women I've crossed paths with who I thought it would be a whole lotta fun to dominant (and in some cases, I found out I was right). But there are other times when I've crossed paths with a woman whom I've felt I'd very much like to submit to... Its really all about how much personal-sensual-sexual power a woman exudes when I'm near her. It's really no more complex than that for me.

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E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

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RE: What is a switch? - 12/3/2008 6:44:54 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I was a Domme and I got into a relationship where I chose to be a slave.  I found the slave role more meaningful to me and fulfilling.  However, my Master enjoys that I was a Domme and has had me take on a male sub - internet only.  I have been told that I am very good at getting into the mind and heart of a sub and manipulating to my will while helping their fantasies to come true.  There are times that I enjoy that very much and other times when I enjoy the submission more.  I never switch with the same partner - I am in one role or the other.  I am fortunate that I get to live out both sides of my BDSM personality.

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RE: What is a switch? - 12/3/2008 1:57:51 PM   
StockingLover69


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/1/2008
Status: offline 		Im a switch and sometimes I prefer to be calling the shots and other times I like her to be in control. I have lead around partners with a leash and collar and other nights they did the same for me. I love being able to play both roles because it opens up 2 worlds insteda of just one.

(in reply to Rule)
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RE: What is a switch? - 12/3/2008 10:02:43 PM   
Dalanius


Posts: 10
Joined: 11/30/2008
Status: offline 		As a bisexual switch, looking back at all my experiences and the motives behind them, I would say that a common denominator in all these expereinces that suggests a definition is that a switch is primarily a selfish epicurist or hedonist.  Puting aside the almost requisite caveat that no two people are alike, I have observed that switches are more liberated in that they are less hung up on being tied down to a defining lexicon where that definition then restricts them.  A dominant by definition is not submissive, and thus will eschew all all such submissive encounters.  Likewise, a submissive, will never know the thrill of having the power over another, not even accepting it if given lovingly to them.  While our druthers might shift in time, we switches tend to go where our own inclinations and desires are at the moment and could care less what title might accompanied them.  At the end, the titles are at our service and not the other way around, and this is arguably one of the biggest defining traits of a swtich as well. 

As a teen and young man in his early 20's I was especially masochistic and although submitting, it was more than anything else a submission to the experience that I wanted and sought and not the person.  Purists will say that I was never a true sub but rather a bottom.  And they would be right, for if I were a true submissive by nature, then I would never have always craved the want to dominate and delight in that pleasure as well.  I have my natural preferance, where I am 80% straight and 20% intensely attracted to younger men.  I am far more dominant by nature but yet I submit out of love to one woman who on occasion I dominate as well.  Pure heterosexuals (if there are any) will say I am homosexual; homosexuals perhaps claim I am confused; some dominants  profess that I am but a sub who has not met a true dominant; and some subs that will not see me as dominant because I engage in power exchange.  But at the end of the day, when all is said, I can say that I am indeed heterosexual, homosexual, dominant, and submisive, a masochist, and a sadist, because above all else I am a selfish hedonist who relishes in his power be it on my knees or standing tall with an opened palm about to land a hard, stinging slap.  And  at any rate, swtiches have twice the fun, and two times more on top of that if bi. <eg>

< Message edited by Dalanius -- 12/3/2008 10:12:04 PM >

(in reply to Rule)
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RE: What is a switch? - 12/4/2008 4:29:53 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you all for responding, especially Usako who did attempt to show me her mind.

(in reply to Dalanius)
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RE: What is a switch? - 12/4/2008 4:38:55 AM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		My definition of a switch is someone who likes to be both Dominant And submissive, and which role they take on depends on the situation, who they're with and how they feel at the time. As to the mind qualities I can't say since I am not qualified to answer for any one other than myself since we're all diffrernt and our mind "qualities" are all different.

(in reply to Rule)
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RE: What is a switch? - 12/4/2008 7:46:25 AM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		According to some recent cmails, a switch is:

A) Someone who just hasn't met the right man, and needs micromanagement and absolute slavery to become the perfect woman.

B) A confused, ignorant individual; but it's 'ok' because they are typically young and inexperienced.

Why am I a switch? I like to be happy, some days I like to hold the reins, and other days I like C to drag me around by the hair and take control. I'm not going to let a preconceived notion of what I SHOULD be, control what I do. I take that approach to my entire life, which is why I'm generally a happy, low stress person. I live in a tiny house, drive a crappy car, have an odd job, and couldn't be happier. (Ok so the house could improve)


< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 12/4/2008 7:47:13 AM >

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RE: What is a switch? - 12/13/2008 7:24:54 AM   
pantherkitten


Posts: 10
Joined: 12/10/2008
From: South Carolina
Status: offline 		Traits of mine that I associate with my switchiness-

A desire to please. I'm (and have been all my life) somewhat passively resistant to authority. Good self-confidence. An incredible liking for flattery. Tending to want a bit of control over my interpersonal relationships (which makes NOT having control seem much more intimate, but HAVING control seem a little more natural?). Being very impulsive, playful, challenging. But not liking being challenging, really, unless there's someone who can challenge me equally. I dunno. I enjoy feeling dominated. I enjoy dominating. I don't have 'daddy issues' but I guess there is some of my childhood in there-

I spent a lot of my childhood trying to get acceptance from my dad, and trying to please my dad (who is a rather difficult person to please- does not exactly approve of someone easily). My mom was kind of a pushover. I always made guy friends and attracted men fairly easily. I am dommy with most men and it's really hard to be comfortable being a sub but when I am capable of that, when I do have that going on, it's like the best thing ever. I also love being dommy, and I have yet to ever feel subby with another girl, but I don't know that it's impossible or anything.

Wanted to throw in, also: With me, it's totally about the person. I could top someone, probably, that I didn't have intense intense intense feelings for, but I wouldn't really like it - I wouldn't sub in that situation for a million bucks. It's emotional for me, though less emotion is required for feeling toppy. I think it comes from more of a feeling of vulnerability - I would say it's so much easier for me to top, it comes more naturally, it's how I conduct myself, and in a very subtle way... I'm not aggressive or domineering at all... but um... Yeah. I would say, in my switchiness, I'm like... deep down, I'm a sub, but I'm dommy enough that I want to challenge it a lot, that I'm playful and (not all the time, not all the time) kinda rebellious now and then. My current person I'm with just laughs if I joke about topping him, or knows that I'm kind of asking for it... I say that I like to feel the walls of the invisible box sometimes, the box being his dominance, what's inside the box being me.

But then, yeah, I can feel quite toppy, too, I think about it a lot... I dunno. I could ramble on and on forever, haha.

< Message edited by pantherkitten -- 12/13/2008 7:31:00 AM >

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RE: What is a switch? - 12/13/2008 7:33:28 AM   
pantherkitten


Posts: 10
Joined: 12/10/2008
From: South Carolina
Status: offline 		"I'm not full sub because I honestly like to be pampered and in control. I'm not full dom because I do enjoy giving myself to someone else."

"I was raised by a strong woman and that's what I want to be. I don't want to be barefoot and pregnant or always on my knees serving some master. But I do want a strong man by my side who can be dominant in a way that I need. And a strong man who can be submissive to me in the way that I need. Perhaps I'm too "I centered" to be a "twue submissive" but I think with a good partner, it would change to "we/us centered" instead."

Agreement, here - just wanted to let you know that I don't think your way of thinking is odd at ALL, that's how I feel, too.

(in reply to Usako)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What is a switch? - 12/13/2008 9:48:29 AM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline 		       The foremost quality of the mind of a switch, Rule, is that they care little enough of what others think to admit to being one.  A hell of a lot more people switch than would ever accept the label.


     

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If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.


(in reply to Rule)
Profile   Post #: 12
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