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Do they think I can't read? - 8/7/2004 11:06:09 PM

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/18/2004
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Dear Mistresses
I have been contacted by different guys who say they have been searching for a domme--yearning to submit, slave, and feel the sting of my lash...(they go on at length)

So then I go to their profiles to find out more about them.
Imagine my surprise when I see them listing themselves as doms with experience and 'special rooms' set aside for 'punishing tortures to inflict on sub women' etc....etc....

None of them even MENTION that they have a dom listing in their sub message to me. I can't figure this out--do they think I can't read? The first one I had to re-read their profile several times to be sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me.

Has anyone else had these sorts of messages? Should I be annoyed (I think they see in my profile I was once a switch--maybe they are hoping I'll dom them and then 'switch' so they can dom me? This really annoys me) or should I be kind to possibily inexperienced people?
When I call them on their inconsistancies, they disappear--no answer.

Thanks for your answers
--Lady Whipenrod

_____________________________

"I can resist everything except temptation."
--Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan

RE: Do they think I can't read? - 8/7/2004 11:44:42 PM

Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
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Whip, Yes, I have males contact me mentioning how they would enjoy my nails on their flesh, etc. I too have confronted them with the dominant in their profile. One told me he had mistakenly clicked the wrong thing, another said he had to "hide" from a furious Domme, whatever. As to how to react. Myself I don't intend to let anyone spoil this site for me. This thing has one advantage that flesh to flesh doesn't have. There is a nifty little click button, block. And I would suggest that you utilize it. I will say that posting here on the boards will net you a wonderful experience, with most being realtime D/s. Maybe when you have had a rough day the "dom" that emails you as a sub will give you a good laugh, you know comic relief? Welcome to Collarme and the boards. Sundew

_____________________________

~~~~~Enjoy the ride, the landing could get painful~~~~

(in reply to Whipenrod)

RE: Do they think I can't read? - 8/8/2004 9:10:29 AM

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline

Dear Sundew

Yes--I have used the block button. And yes--I know there are realy great people here--I've met some of them.
What worries me--these Doms who become subs (and think I can't read) reveal themselves to be rank novices--even though their profile says otherwise.
A warning to all subs--do research (& intuition) before you put yourself at someone's mercy! However--I believe those Doms/Dommes are in the minority and the majority of people here are REAL and can be trusted.

Lady W.

_____________________________

"I can resist everything except temptation."
--Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan

(in reply to Sundew02)

RE: Do they think I can't read? - 8/8/2004 9:14:36 AM

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
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You mean you can read!!

(Just kidding.)

Be flattered. The HNG's see your face and can't even think straight enough to lie.

(That is a joke, but it is true.)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to Whipenrod)

RE: Do they think I can't read? - 8/8/2004 9:47:23 AM

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

I haven't had this happen recently, but when I first joined the site it was a daily occurence. I believe there's a group that just hangs out on these sites, to do just that. I was more or less prepared for it because I belonged to alt and aff et al. They all have them. I call them "The Teens". We have to either ignore them, or shoot them. Who wants to fool with cleaning up all that blood???

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: Do they think I can't read? - 8/8/2004 9:53:07 AM

Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline

Lady W., Warm smile. Unfortunately, for those of us who have been on collarme for awhile, this topic has been brought up many many times. We have cussed and discussed what could be done about the almost wannabes, the wannabes, and the down right "here for sex" males and females. There just isn't much, keep an eye out for anyone who asks for help. Keep reminding the new members to ask all the questions they can think of and more. We cannot list the ones we are concerned with by any name, as this is against Collarme rules. Besides what is to prevent them from coming back under a new sn? If you get a flame or blantantly disrespectful hate mail, forward it to one of the Mods, they can do much more than we can. And they can find out the persons ISP and ban them from the site. There is some hope. Good thing patience is one of my virtues, laughing. Sundew

_____________________________

~~~~~Enjoy the ride, the landing could get painful~~~~

(in reply to Whipenrod)

RE: Do they think I can't read? - 8/8/2004 10:18:44 AM

Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline

Possibly they are like the man I was contacted by a couple of years ago who wanted to be my Dom, we met for an interview at a streeet fair and I felt after our discussion that the match wasn't right. So the other day he ICQ's me & after having read my updates in my personal web site wanted to try out being a sub, since he had no luck finding a female sub. That is so the wrong reason for looking for a Domme. He was insistent that we are an ideal match, I was polite, but firm that I am not taking on anyone "just trying out". I am looking for & finding subs dedicated to service. After a polite goodbye, I blocked him on my ICQ.

_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

(in reply to Whipenrod)

RE: Do they think I can't read? - 8/8/2004 10:32:47 AM

MistressVivianCA

Posts: 7
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline

I am frequently contacted by men who have dominant profiles claiming to be submissives. I have been amazed to note on other sites that over half of those who view my profile or hotlist me are listed as dominants. I do not switch and have never even bottomed. So I don't think it has anything to do with your previous switching. Personally, I believe many of these men are just claiming to be submissive to try and lure you in. They seem to get off on the fantasy idea of turning dommes into subs. I consider them to, in many cases, be dangerous people who do not respect the ideals of ssc and try to stay far away from them.

Best wishes, Vivian

(in reply to Sundew02)

RE: Do they think I can't read? - 8/8/2004 1:32:14 PM

MistressZanthia

Posts: 88
Joined: 7/2/2004
From: Seattle, Washington, USA
Status: offline

As a professional I have many self labeled "Dominant Males" contact me for my services. I have yet to figure out why... could it be all men are submissive? LOL. Kidding don't get your panties in a wad boys. They can list any number of reasons, I don't care, it's business and I don't mind it at all. I'll dominate the dominant.

I've also seen many boys who started out as submissives on different sites change their profiles to say "dominant"... and when asked, their reasoning was that they couldn't find a Domme, so they switched over, makes me think they were only looking to get laid in the first place, not actually real submissives. Real subs like leopards don't change their spots do they? Mostly not, I'd guess.

It just goes to show you that there are some wishy washy people out there, and a man saying he switched because he couldn't find a counterpart in one particular orientation is not one I'd consider for anything serious...

_____________________________

~*Zan*~
www.zanthia.com

(in reply to MistressVivianCA)

RE: Do they think I can't read? - 8/8/2004 4:26:17 PM

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Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressZanthia

I've also seen many boys who started out as submissives on different sites change their profiles to say "dominant"... and when asked, their reasoning was that they couldn't find a Domme, so they switched over, makes me think they were only looking to get laid in the first place, not actually real submissives. Real subs like leopards don't change their spots do they? Mostly not, I'd guess.

It just goes to show you that there are some wishy washy people out there, and a man saying he switched because he couldn't find a counterpart in one particular orientation is not one I'd consider for anything serious...

I don't have the habit of double posting but this last post was at the end of a thread and I believe it is very applicable right now.

I was recently contacted by a man who essentially wrote that he would like to get better acquainted with me. Polite enough note. I look at his profile. He's a male dominant located 4000km away (my profile specifies early on, only local and only with submissive tendencies). He also wrote that he was new to the scene but listed single tail whips as one of his special skills. So I write him back, enquiring on what made him contact me, presuming he read my blurb. I also asked him how he got his single tail experience, being a newbie.

He then wrote back saying he was really deep down submissive and only wrote he was Dominant so that he could meet other submissive to be friends with. He said he was born near Montreal and always wanted to relocate. He wrote: "look at my profile now, I changed it for you Mistress" (insert LadyA eye-roll). He was now sub, with a note he was willing to relocate and the special skill of single tails suddenly disappeared. He said he was looking for a strick Mistress to keep him in line. He is now blocked.

Just be careful folks. He's now prying on another Dominant woman who won't have the luck of seeing him for what he is early on.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MistressZanthia)

RE: Do they think I can't read? - 8/8/2004 10:09:18 PM

Posts: 203
Joined: 3/23/2004
Status: offline

I think they believe they are hedging their bets by trying for both dominant and submissive females. In such a context, I can't imagine they're thinking that much further than hoping that you'll be interested.

I've mentioned this before but the HNGs have made it so difficult for the sincere ones of us in the community that a lot of us have pretty much just given up trying to connect with anyone. I've had people push me away because of pre-screening that is designed to get rid of lots of people where quite often I don't even get a chance to be taken seriously or even in a serious context. When it happens enough times, you start to realize that the insincere ones have made it practically impossible for the rest of us to manage successfully, so that doing nothing is often more beneficial than wasting time.

I contacted one woman in my area, after having compared our profiles, double checking a lot of communications she has made, so that I was pretty sure we were on the same level. I contacted her very politely and received one of those blunt responses of "prove yourself" in a way where I couldn't even figure out how proving myself would even be possible. As such, I broke off future conversation because further attempts only seemed to receive even more hostile responses.

It's gotten to the point where the serious, conscientious ones of us are defeated by the mannerisms of the players who have drowned us out with their insincere antics.

Duane Gundrum
[email protected]

_____________________________

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day...
...teach a man to fish, he steals your fishing hole and then charges you for the fish.

(in reply to Whipenrod)

RE: Do they think I can't read? - 8/8/2004 11:34:05 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 4/30/2004
Status: offline

i hope You don't mind me responding since i'm not a Domme, but i've had this done to me, but the opposite way. i have had men contacting me as a Dom and when i looked at their profile it would state that they're either a sub or a switch leaning towards the sub side. When i asked them about it they usually would tell me that they haven't had any luck finding a Domme, so they thought they would try the other side. They would also mention that they would do anything that i asked them to do. i have never liked being in the dominant role, that's why i'm a slave.

i also have stated in every profile i have that i'm a slave, but i still get men and women emailing me asking me to Domme them. When this first happened i would email back explaining that i'm not a Domme, and they would either ask me to do it "just this one time" or ask if i knew any Dommes that they could contact.

What i've done in these instances is block and delete.

The only thing i can figure out about them is that they aren't into the lifestyle. They just look at us as an easy lay, and will take the sex any way they can.

(in reply to sarbonn)

RE: Do they think I can't read? - 8/9/2004 2:43:37 AM

MistressZanthia

Posts: 88
Joined: 7/2/2004
From: Seattle, Washington, USA
Status: offline

quote:

The only thing i can figure out about them is that they aren't into the lifestyle. They just look at us as an easy lay, and will take the sex any way they can.

My main thought exactly. What about us being kinky makes us appear easy? Don't these fools know that the people into this lifestyle are not stupid, by and large we are the brains as BDSM isn't an idiot's game to begin with. *arrgh*

And I hear you sarbonn, and yes they have. I'm just a jaded bitch now who doesn't bother with online boys, the flake, hng, wannabe ratio is just too high to bother with most days.

_____________________________

~*Zan*~
www.zanthia.com

(in reply to kirameaMW)

RE: Do they think I can't read? - 8/9/2004 6:20:46 PM

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline

Well, I had no idea my topic would generate this sort of response. I was thinking I would get a mixed reaction--sort of 'the poor dears don't know they're switches' but I see now that all of you have had experiences with people 'trolling' for a generic 'kinky person' without knowing who they were talking to or what they wanted.

*Sundew--My appologies for bringing up a topic already discussed. I actually thought this was something unusual--that maybe I was a target for BDSM chameleons? I see now it's not.
*Dear IWillServe thanks--you get the quahog award.
*Mistress Vivian and Lady Shoshin--'possibly dangerous'--I agree, because of the deception involved. And again--I am concerned that instead of giving over control these people actually have a hidden agenda that they aren't telling me about.
*Mistress Zanthia--who called such people 'wishy-washy'. Perhaps--why I question if these people would be hapier as switches. I also wonder with certain egos if the term 'switch' doesn't have enough appeal--most wannabes understand the Dom and sub roles better (sortof?!!)

In the past I have also dommed another experienced dom who wished to sub under me. He honored me with his willingness to submit--but he approached me in complete honesty. Since I was a switch I see nothing wrong with re-connecting to that role once in a while to help in 'balance'--but the choice should be mine alone--not someone trying to 'convince' me to switch.

*Sarbonne: "hedging their bets"--yes--read on. In addition I was approached by someone on these boards just yesterday who gave me his e-mail as 'masterXX" and listed here at collarme as a switch and with me personally he wanted to be a submissive.
Again--absolutely no mention of the strange swing back and fourth between the roles. However--he definitely had all the bases covered in any given situation.
Thanks to all for your responses! The majority of the people I've met here are wonderful.

--Sincerely, Lady Whipenrod

_____________________________

"I can resist everything except temptation."
--Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan

(in reply to MistressZanthia)

RE: Do they think I can't read? - 8/9/2004 6:49:56 PM

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

Perhaps--why I question if these people would be hapier as switches.

The switches I know are very cognizant of why they are switches. I dont think
somebody who doesnt really know what being a Dominant or submissive is would
be happier as a switch.

The psychology of being able to both dominate and submit seems far more complex
than that to me.

These sorts of people seem far too clueless to be switches, and I would place my bet
with those who claim they are trying to get laid any way they can.

JM, CBW, BTYG

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to Whipenrod)

RE: Do they think I can't read? - 8/10/2004 3:27:27 AM

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Zanthia,

This will sound like a joke. Unfortunately it isn't. (Well mostly.

)

If all you want is sex, the idea of a woman who will blow you whenever you ask is quite good. (And she'll do the dishes!)

quote:

As a professional I have many self labeled "Dominant Males" contact me for my services. I have yet to figure out why... could it be all men are submissive?

Consider yourself the principal handing out diploma when they graduate.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to MistressZanthia)

RE: Do they think I can't read? - 8/10/2004 3:30:57 AM

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

As a male I can empathise with the desperation. (I mean, you are a woman and if all that matters is your gender....

)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to kirameaMW)

RE: Do they think I can't read? - 8/10/2004 7:25:14 PM

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Kidding don't get your panties in a wad boys.

*stands around all kilted and Domly*

panties? I dont wear no steenking panties!

100% regimental. Live the dream.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: Do they think I can't read? - 8/11/2004 11:48:43 AM

Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline

quote:

100% regimental. Live the dream.

There is one time when the regiment will wear gocchies under their kilts - if they are performing for the Queen (it just would not do to moon the Queen)

_____________________________

Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: Do they think I can't read? - 8/11/2004 12:28:32 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 4/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

My main thought exactly. What about us being kinky makes us appear easy? Don't these fools know that the people into this lifestyle are not stupid, by and large we are the brains as BDSM isn't an idiot's game to begin with. *arrgh*

To a vanilla person, kink is just play. They can't (or won't) understand it as a lifestyle, and believe that since you "play" that way, you will do anything. Perverts are people with loose morals, and will fuck anything that slows down. They see us as easy targets, either because of our perversion or because they feel that there aren't enough of us around (and will take anything).

i personally believe that to live this lifestyle, you have to be smarter than the average person. We have more imagination, higher ethics, and are more honest with ourselves and others. Of course, as in the vanilla world, not all of the lifestylers fit into my opinion, but that's my observation.

(in reply to Thanatosian)

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