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stella41b -> RE: Appearance? (12/5/2008 3:57:16 PM)
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Appearance matters to me in some ways, but not in others, and it's not the complete picture.
I used to think that physical appearance mattered a lot, that I could never be with someone with an appearance which didn't match my expectations or who I thought to be physically unattractive from their appearance. But that was when I was about 14 years old.
The thing I find most attractive about other people is their humanity, their physical imperfections, things which make them stand out from the rest, things by which I would recognize them, their solid bits, their soft bits, their lumpy bits and their squishy bits, signs that they are living and are very much alive.
I never go by a photo, or even hundreds of them, because no camera is as sensitive as the human eye, and all you have is a lifeless snapshot taken from a split second of someone's life. It tells you nothing about what it feels like to be in their presence, doesn't tell you anything about their presence, their aura, their warmth, how they project themselves, how they come across (which to me is far more important) and if you think it does, then I'm sorry but in my opinion you're only fooling yourself and setting up false expectations about that person.
I'm not physically attractive, my physical beauty is so hidden I'm almost convinced that I left it somewhere at a bus stop in Liverpool in 1986 and you will never find it by looking at a photo of me. I'm a transgendered female and on a photo I barely pass, but when you meet me and spend time in my company it comes across more. I never got dates or into relationships by the way I look, but more by how I come across, what I project, who I am inside as a person, and how I can make someone feel in my company.
I would never even dream of looking for HWP or even be foolish enough to demand it from someone else, this to me is silly. Just wondering here just how HWP are those who demand it, just how perfect they are themselves before they demand such perfection in others. Most people I come across are not HWP according to some BMI Index, they're either overweight or underweight, and weight in most people fluctuates anyway, especially in women when it is usually tied into their menstrual cycle and is dependent on how much or how little fluid their body retains. I don't look at how much someone weighs, but rather how well they carry the weight they are at that moment. It's just me, I find body fascism unattractive as a character trait.
I look at things like personal hygiene, dress sense, manners, control over emotions, and someone who can make me feel something in their presence. Knob Cheese and Haddock Stew are not my favourite brands of deodorant, nor do I feel comfortable sitting near someone who looks likely to explode out of their clothing at some random moment. If you're older please accept it and dress for your actual age, and not for your mental age and if you are overweight please wear clothing of the size you actually are, not the size you want to be. No need to dress as if you've just stolen the contents of your neighbour's washing line or raided their laundry basket. Also, when meeting a domme, I much prefer the natural woman look to that of a glamourous transvestite (not that I have anything against glamourous transvestites, in fact I'm a fan and supportive of sissies, drag queens, and glamourous transvestites).
However what lies inside and personal integrity carry a much greater weight together with the acceptance that we are all human, and therefore imperfect.
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