Service Subs with Fibromylagia

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Service Subs with Fibromylagia - 12/5/2008 10:09:20 AM

PALittleGirl

Posts: 31
Joined: 7/9/2006
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I have recently been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, after months of aching muscles, exhaustion and headaches. While I am now on medication which helps a great deal, I still have bad days. I'm also in a 24/7 relationship with my Daddy, whom I live with along with his two children from his previous marriage. Our relationship within the D/s context is heavily based on my service to him, both sexually and domestically. But now, it's nearly impossible for me to do these things some days. The sexual stuff isn't the issue. It's the domestic. While he is wonderfully understanding, I still feel bad that between working (I have to work to keep my health insurance), my other commitments and the outside world, sometimes the things I do for him get put aside. The things aren't getting done, thing that are my responsiblity. Has anyone else had issues with these sort of conditions and dealt (or didn't) with them?

Thanks,
palittlegirl (TantricDom)

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RE: Service Subs with Fibromylagia - 12/5/2008 10:26:21 AM

elegantalexis

Posts: 237
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I am a domestic as well with fibro and I try my best to do what I can each day. One thing that can help out is the www.flylady.net system, which I adapted for when I have my flareups. Just set an egg timer for 15 minutes and work as much as you can during that time. During that time, you devote to one chore, whether its dishes, getting laundry together, cleaning up after the kiddos. There are some truly inspiring stories on there to help out as well. Rest after the 15 minutes and set the egg timer for another round. You will be surprised what all you can do in 15 minutes.

There is also a support group for flyladies with fibro in Yahoo groups, of which I am mainly a lurker, but everyone is supportive of each other and share stories and cleaning tips (I am trying to find a steam mop to help out with mopping after 3 killer chihuahuas). The group is flying with fibro. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/flyingwithfibro/

The best advice I can give you is to take it easy and work what you can. Also share this with your Dom and he can work with you on it.

Shahar

Editted to add a link.

< Message edited by elegantalexis -- 12/5/2008 10:58:29 AM >

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RE: Service Subs with Fibromylagia - 12/5/2008 1:02:00 PM

lovingpet

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Joined: 6/19/2005
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Service orientation to your relationship or not, life can get very out of hand with fibro. That is my current diagnosis, and one I am not exactly accepting gracefully. Sometimes speaking on the phone for a few minutes is enough to tire me to the point of needing to sleep. I make the most of the good days and try to be careful not to overdo it. Doing too much brings on a bad day in a hurry.

Would you be this hard on yourself if you had a so called major, long term illness like cancer or diabetes and you were feeling poorly? This is no different. It is an illness. Two of the key features is fatigue and pain both of which make you look lazy. You are not lazy. You are sick and need the same care and support you would receive if you even had so much as a cold. I feel more like things are out of control than guilty for anything. There are changes that will likely have to be made to accommodate your new level of functioning. A dominant that cares about you will be willing to work it out and help you know there is no shame in not being able to do everything you once did.

Search the net as there is much advice and many strategies you can apply to everyday things. Keep working on tweaking your meds until you have a very good management system. Ask about massage and physical therapy as well. Additionally, you may find a lot of help by working with an occupational therapist for a period of time. They can help you recover some functioning, adapt to limitations, and guide you through doing things that are difficult, but that you need to be able to do for yourself.

I really do feel for you. It has been a journey to get this diagnosis, and now it seems it is going to be a bit farther still. Hang in there and don't be afraid to ask for the help you need both professional and from family and friends. All my best!

lovingpet

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RE: Service Subs with Fibromylagia - 12/5/2008 10:21:25 PM

RealSub58

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I walked 39 miles for Breast Cancer in 2 days and then several months later passed out while dragonboat racing but got up enough energy to do 3 more races the next month besides more practice. Within 4 months I was in so much pain I could not walk some days, not even make a meal.I was in agony 24/7. Finally I was evaluated at a pain clinic and 7 weeks ago I finally decided to call (procrastination and fear is a bitch) and say yes I would do the 4 week day program if insurance paid the 12G. I have one more week to go and I feel like a spring chick.....almost.I can walk down the steps, I know trigger points of pain, proper stretching of muscles, I can walk 1.5 miles in 20 minutes, I rowed for 15 min at an average of 25 strokes per min, I do guided relaxation and medication tapes, my meds are all adjusted and I am getting my sleep patterns in checks.I am waiting for a sleep apnea test and the results of a gene test for Reiter's Syndrome. I cannot tell you how this 4 week day program at the pain clinic has changed my life ~~~~~ fibromyalgia, sacral to cervical arthritis, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, hyperthyroid, 5 types of migraine headaches, osteo arthritis, iritis...what the hell did I miss..... oh yes ~ compound chronic pain issues with PTSD, Social anxiety and major depressive disorder and you have a double wammy !! ~~~~~ all still part of me, but they no longer keep me prisoner. Any way....the point is........... I am entirely differ person now physiologically.THERE IS HOPE finding the source of your hope may be the hardest part.

< Message edited by RealSub58 -- 12/5/2008 10:22:45 PM >

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RE: Service Subs with Fibromylagia - 12/5/2008 11:05:12 PM

atypicalsub

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You do what you can. You communicate as much as you can with your partner. I serve my Mistress and am responsible for maintining the home and preparing most of the meals. I also live with disabilities and Mistress understands that some days they are more limiting than others. I know it is easier for me because Mistress and I discussed my condition before I came to live with her. It is more difficult, especially on your emotions, when you have to try to modify your relationship because you can't do all the things you did when it began. It sounds like you have a supportive partner. It may be necessary to redefine some of the expectations in your relationship. In the end you adapt and do the best you can with the resources you have.

_____________________________

Polyamorous, solitary eclectic pagan, pansexual slut, and personal pet of MistressYes

"Do not do anything you are ashamed of, and don't be ashamed of anything you do"
(although I'm sure my bio-family wishes I did less and was ashamed of more)

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