RE: RE; illness

RE: RE; illness (Full Version)

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celticlord2112 -> RE: RE; illness (12/6/2008 9:08:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NazjamRa how do you handle a sudden illness with your sub or dom...I mean how do support that person without seeming uncaring? By being a friend and human being first and foremost--just like in any relationship. If you care for the person, it's not a problem whether they are sub, slave, dom, master, or just bringer of coffee and hoarder of chocolate.

DesFIP -> RE: RE; illness (12/6/2008 9:27:06 AM)
When I had the cataract removed, he drove me there and back and put me to bed. And he insisted on coming in and putting the drops in my eyes every two hours as opposed to me doing it myself. When I had the flu. which reminds me I need a flu shot, he handled everything because I couldn't do any of it. He got my kids on and off the bus, went to the store, made (or ordered) dinner, and brought me in a lot of tea and toast and strong decongestants, extra strenght Excedrin etc. He did what needed doing while I was in bed. But I will admit that when I was back on my feet there was a lot of laundry to catch up on!

Serenelysmiles -> RE: RE; illness (12/6/2008 9:35:47 AM)
My Master and I just went through this with my shoulder injury. I guess I'm not sure why You feel You need to appear uncaring to support the status of Your submissive? There is no question in our relationship about our roles, but when I'm ill or injured I want my Master to be Someone that can put His arms around me and tell me that it's ok. When I was ill He brought me hot tea, medicine, took care of me to the best of His ability. I think times like that show a Master's mettle. Being caring and affectionate doesn't make one seem less Dominant, or less submissive, they make You more so and strengthen the bonds of any relationship.

Serenelysmiles -> RE: RE; illness (12/6/2008 9:36:58 AM)
I had to catch up on the laundry, too. Laundry, the universal subbie equalizer.

susie -> RE: RE; illness (12/6/2008 1:58:34 PM)
I am not sure why you feel you have to be uncaring. Do you feel that to be a Dom you should not have feelings for your sub? For the last 4 years I have been owned by a wonderful Master. In July this year I had a brain tumour removed and have had lots of follow up treatment. He has been there with me every step of the way, caring for me, driving me to appointments and holding my hand during visits to the consultant. All this made much harder for him as his first wife/sub died from a brain tumour. So much care from him but during all that time I never once had to question if he was the Dom in our relationship. I guess for us it is the way we live and not something that ever gets turned on or off.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: RE; illness (12/6/2008 2:16:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici which is better, to cut them or to have them not show up at the hospital one day? Sorry, I don't want to be wondering, I get that some people can't handle it and I don't want to be surrounded by those. For me... yeah, I guess I'd rather have them in my life for as long as they are there, cherish it, and, if they don't come to the hospital, I'll still cherish the time we -did- have.

kiyari -> RE: RE; illness (12/6/2008 2:59:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NazjamRa how do you handle a sudden illness with your sub or dom... I mean how do support that person without seeming uncaring? I gather that you don't actually care, you being the Domly? I mean, if you actually cared, you would not have come here for tips :P Are you asking how to pose in the interim? Yanno, in case he/she recuperates, ya don't want to have lost their fidelity. Am I off the mark, here?

atypicalsub -> RE: RE; illness (12/10/2008 12:07:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pompeii Either I don't get it or you don't get it. This is an act. A movie of sorts. The whole game is just that. A game. It isn't real life. No matter how much you might think it is, it isn't. So, what do you do when there is a time out in the game for an injury? You stop the game. You remove your gear. And you help the fallen comrade. Even if she is your loving willing pleasing sub. No, this is not an act or a game. Mistress/pet is how we define our relationship. The way we think of one another does not change when one of us is ill or injured. We continue our lives making what adjustments are necessary for the situation. That still does not alter how we regard each other. When she had to go to the emergency room I sat there with her, still wearing my collar and leash. After I brought her home getting her prescriptions filled and all the instructions from the doctor were added to my regular duties. There was no time out. I continued to take care of all my Mistress's needs. When I am ill she takes care of me, just as anyone else would take care of their dog, cat, or other beloved pet. It is not a time out. Taking care of me when I can not take care of myself is part of what she promise in exchange for my service.

pixidustpet -> RE: RE; illness (12/10/2008 1:01:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Alloces damn what a topic to return to here on My re-entry to cm..I think I have a bit of expierience here in this..guess an explaination is in order.. I have been diagnosed with a rare bone marrow cancer and just getting the right diagnosis was a long time comming..at the time I first started the proccess I owned a girl..when the very first diagnosis came down the girl up and left telling Me I had no right to ask ANYONE to sit thru this...shortly after she had left the original Dx was resended and testing started anew..along came girl #2I had at this time stopped all testings and was just riding denial..well she talked Me into restarting everything ( had stopped cause I didn't wanna know) had known this girl for about 7 years.she said that she would love Me till death do us part....after I finally got the Dx of the rare bone marrow cancer she also walked saying the same basic things as the first...now mine you these were both girls with a LOT of real time expierience in the lifestyle and they up and walked.. thing is ...I can actually see why ...it would be a sheer hell and the worst torture ever to have to sit and watch the " Beloved Master " slowly die right before the eyes knowing there is not a thing they can do..so I guess I can see this from both sides of the coin...I would never walk out on Mine in such a dire time but I guess this shows that there are those that can't bear it out.. nods sept 2 years ago, fallcon was diagnosed with colon cancer. december 25th 2 years ago, he died. four months to the day that he was admitted to the hospital. it IS hell to watch someone you've loved dying before your eyes, having to become the Short Woman From Their Very Nightmares (which cracked him the hell up) to doctors to make sure he's treated right, to hold back your own grief enough to say "let go, dont hang on for me". i dont fault someone who cant take it. this was twice in two years (nearly to the day) that i had lost someone dear to me. i still am raw with grief for both of them. to the OP...how do you handle illness? you do. you love them, you care for them, you do what you can to make them feel better, you make sure they take care of themselves, you do the damned laundry (including folding it and putting it away) if necessary. you run the household. that goes for either side of the slash. or you find yourself on collarme.com only 2 months after your partner dies, dragging your feet and bitching under your breath as you post a profile, doing as you were ordered, to make sure that his last wishes were obeyed because he was worried about you being masterless in his absence. it worked, too. kitten, whose Engineer allows her to still grieve, knowing that it has nothing to do with her love for him and everything to do with her own silly soft heart and how much she loves at all.

steviemichael -> RE: RE; illness (12/10/2008 1:27:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NazjamRa how do you handle a sudden illness with your sub or dom...I mean how do support that person without seeming uncaring? if you are suggesting that the illiness is preventing your partner/sub to perform certain acts sexually for you then one question on which foundation is you relationship with the one. either they are hunman first or just a item to discard and simply use i make no judgement on which is which since you have not what the realtionsship is based on

LadyPact -> RE: RE; illness (12/10/2008 3:09:16 AM)
For Me, it's quite simple. The minute someone shows to Me that they do not care about My physical or mental health, I know they do not need to be in My life.

slavejali -> RE: RE; illness (12/10/2008 3:41:12 AM)
Fast Reply One of the first things Master did when we got together was to make me go to the doctors. I ended up having a hysterectomy, when in hospital master brought in a pillow with his shirt as a pillowcase [:D] From my perspective, I cared for my last partner until his death and wouldn't trade the time I had with him for the world.

Rayne58 -> RE: RE; illness (12/10/2008 4:12:46 AM)
I have cared for Sir for the past five years. He has diabetes and renal failure and is on a haemodialysis machine here at home as I type [:)] I have learned so much in the time we have been together. His treatment has changed several times, from peritoneal dialysis at home, to several bouts of peritonitis, to haemodialysis at a hospital and now doing it ourselves for the past 4 months. He's been through several surgeries and procedures and several hospital stays. Throughout all this He has been my loving caring Dom (and Husband for two years). These five years have been the happiest of my life despite all the ups and downs. Sure we would both love to have met earlier when He was still healthy, but I do believe that we come into someone's life at the right time for each other - and that is how it has been for us.

kristileigh -> RE: RE; illness (12/10/2008 5:18:38 PM)
Master was sick back in October and ended up in the hospital, as his sub/slave it is my duty to stand by Him and do what needs done. Take care of His house and Him no questions asked. i do it because i love and care for Him. final.

elegantalexis -> RE: RE; illness (12/10/2008 5:37:52 PM)
Alexis was recently DXed with diabetes and she is having a hard time dealing with it on several levels (i.e. the blood sugar levels, her diet, weaning her off of regular sodas and switching to diet, checking her feet for potential open sores, the meds which made her sick for the first week or so). She is doing better, I am getting more comfortable with helping her out with reminders to take her meds and she loves it when I check her feet cause I also put lotion on them as a treat. She has been with me for over 4 years, dealing with my bipolar and ensuring I do take my meds. I am calmer now that the pdocs finally find the right regime of meds for me. One thing I make sure of NOT doing is punishing her when I am in a rage mood. It is not good for the both of us if I use my rage moods as a part of our BDSM sessions.

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