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We been arguing and fighting real bad lately - 12/9/2008 10:45:24 PM

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Today right before he had to go to work we got in a huge argument, so I said leave me alone don't talk to me just leave for work, I am kind of Saddend by that, this is the first time in the 3 years almost we've been dating that I got fed up with him and told him to go to work and leave me alone don't talk to me.

Earlier he yelled at me for crying in public cause the hatch of his car hit me on the head and hurt and startled me. he told me I should of been embarrased and ashamed for standing in public crying for all to see.

And at quizno's he created a scene and I finally said fine I will take the money and order go sit down, while people starred.

He did apologise and tell me he's sorry and he don't mean to direct any hostility my way like he's been doing, but I'm not really up for accepting his appology, cause he really was out of line for his actions earlier.

RE: We been arguing and fighting real bad lately - 12/9/2008 11:27:38 PM

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And...?

Is this to tell us that you've got the hump? You're upset? Fed up?

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RE: We been arguing and fighting real bad lately - 12/10/2008 2:19:12 AM

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Hello YHMA,
Do you know there is a journal feature on CM?
It would seem this post is more appropriate there.

good luck,
*tgfka sunshine

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RE: We been arguing and fighting real bad lately - 12/10/2008 3:01:45 AM

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I disagree with sunshine. If everyone only posted in their journal this place would be boring reading. How would I be able to ask if the car was insured. Sounds to me there are some hidden issues in this relationship. Is the guy realy into it. Mmmm

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

RE: We been arguing and fighting real bad lately - 12/10/2008 3:08:26 AM

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well Ray, that's the difference. You asked a question. Her post is just venting and there is no place where people can respond. To quote Stella, "And?"

So? We all have bad days or difficulties in our relationships at some time. But the post is just dumping. I'm not really big on dumping on people. She's not asking for advice, opinion, share similar stories, not even a fun little thread like "I hate it when" or "I blame Greedy". It's just vomitting on the threads. That's a poor me attention whore kind of thing.

well wishes,
*tgfka sunshine

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RE: We been arguing and fighting real bad lately - 12/10/2008 3:43:13 AM

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You've had your first argument in 3 years. That can be confusing. Being out of practice is your problem. Sit down, talk it out. Make yourself clear. Get all questions answered. I suspect all will be well, your guy has no terms of reference to make any dissatisfaction vocal. Ask what is bothering him.

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RE: We been arguing and fighting real bad lately - 12/10/2008 4:42:10 AM

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Wow, your first fight in three years! i think i would feel the same if Sir and i had a real fight like that and it has only been two years for Uus. It is a scary thing ((hugs)), but it will be ok, chances are He is feeling just as shaken by the whole thing too. Use the journal to get your feelings out in, i use it alot (well an awful lot) but it has helped me talk through things that have happened and in this way i revisit and perhaps understand better. It also helps when other folk read it and comment too.

gabrielle x

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RE: We been arguing and fighting real bad lately - 12/10/2008 4:52:05 AM

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Do what they do in marriage counseling. Each of you take a pad of paper and write down what is bothering you and then talk it thru.

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RE: We been arguing and fighting real bad lately - 12/10/2008 4:56:09 AM

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We had three fights last night just over where we are going for the Holidays, She wants to go see her family, I want to go snowmobiling in the new snowmobile she bought me but did not know about cause I just decided I wanted one and went and got it, cause it was snowing and I thought, Wow won't it be cool to own a snowmobile, No no it is not, all we have done is fought over the dam thing, and what I don't get; it's her gift to me and she is the one that is pissed. Go figure

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RE: We been arguing and fighting real bad lately - 12/10/2008 5:32:41 AM

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I see your problem housesub. You brought a snomobile instead of a fishing boat.

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RE: We been arguing and fighting real bad lately - 12/10/2008 5:33:49 AM

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YHMA,
i'm not even going to address SunshineMiss's wonderful suggestion of putting this stuff into your journal, since you and i have recently had this disucssion and my advice went unheaded.
Regarding your relationship, however i do have to wonder if you have not set the stage for this disagreement. Do you remember the therapy thread that you began? That, in my opinion, pretty clearly showed your ongoing issues regarding this relationship. i think that you may need to consider entering therapy. It can teach you how to get your needs met, how to identify and correct your attention seeking behavior, how to ask for your needs to be met, and how to communicate without demanding, manipulating, guilting, or shaming.
For whatever it's worth,
Kali

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RE: We been arguing and fighting real bad lately - 12/10/2008 5:34:58 AM

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Were you on your way to get the electric toothbrush you mentioned in another thread you posted? If so don't worry about it. He was probably just anxious to get it so he'd feel minty breath on his dick rather than the previous night's dinner. Don't worry about the bump on your head, just brush around it.
Let us know how the toothbrush works for you!

< Message edited by VirginPotty -- 12/10/2008 5:38:35 AM >

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RE: We been arguing and fighting real bad lately - 12/10/2008 5:36:54 AM

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Potty,
You are a bad bad bad bad lady......bwaaa haaaa haaaaa haaaa haaaaa.
That's why we love You so much,
Kali

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RE: We been arguing and fighting real bad lately - 12/10/2008 5:39:23 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

Potty,
You are a bad bad bad bad lady......bwaaa haaaa haaaaa haaaa haaaaa.
That's why we love You so much,
Kali

Thank you, lovely lady.

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RE: We been arguing and fighting real bad lately - 12/10/2008 6:14:08 AM

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Was this some way of soliciting advice?

I have a way of dealing with arguments and spats in relationships.

Admittedly we can all get the hump. Human nature I guess.

But if you try and imagine that instead of seeing that person again, you see a cop with some bad news about 'an unfortunate incident' about your other half it somehow puts things into perspective.

Which do you prefer - being right or being close to someone?

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RE: We been arguing and fighting real bad lately - 12/10/2008 7:33:41 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: housesub4you

We had three fights last night just over where we are going for the Holidays, She wants to go see her family, I want to go snowmobiling in the new snowmobile she bought me but did not know about cause I just decided I wanted one and went and got it, cause it was snowing and I thought, Wow won't it be cool to own a snowmobile, No no it is not, all we have done is fought over the dam thing, and what I don't get; it's her gift to me and she is the one that is pissed. Go figure

Oh crap! That is funny!
Wonders what HM can buy me and not know about...

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(in reply to housesub4you)

RE: We been arguing and fighting real bad lately - 12/10/2008 8:31:57 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

Earlier he yelled at me for crying in public cause the hatch of his car hit me on the head and hurt and startled me. he told me I should of been embarrased and ashamed for standing in public crying for all to see.

What kind of man yells at his woman for crying? The first thing my Sir does if he sees tears is puts his arms around me.

He did apologise and tell me he's sorry and he don't mean to direct any hostility my way like he's been doing, but I'm not really up for accepting his appology, cause he really was out of line for his actions earlier.

I don't know if I could ever forgive for something like that because I'd resent the man too much. I'd never forget it and there would always be doubts in my mind about the man's feelings for me. I don't see how any man who cares for his woman could yell at her because of tears. What a jerk.

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RE: We been arguing and fighting real bad lately - 12/10/2008 8:46:00 AM

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Between the economy and the holidays stress levels are rising as thresholds are falling. Things that would have drawn comfort or compassion any other time can set off an explosion now. This is common around Christmas in any relationship as people rush to get things done, but can be just as hard in a D/s relationship as well.

That said.

Bumping your head on the car latch , a door frame or ANYTHING really HURTS! I did that about 3 weeks ago and cried like a baby from the pain and while the tiny gash has healed it is still tender as all get out.I have seen it bring tears to the eyes of strong men..

If he is causing scenes in restaurants..do what you would do with an Um..walk away and ignore it. While with an Um you can't let them out of eye sight, with an adult..you can. Bad behavior is bad behavior, Dom or sub, husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend.

You can't argue if the other person refuses to be involved with the argument. Couples therapy might help, but something has his hackles up...you need to find out what it is..and yours.

Now.. For Housesub4 you...

The problem I suspect is not her wanting to go to see family or yours to go snowmobiling. I suspect instead it is you bought a big ticket item at a time the economy is iffy at best and told her it was her Christmas gift to you. She may have already purchased something she really wanted to give you, she may have accepted the hint and gotten it for you herself..you took that joy away from her and that choice. So Yep, she is not going to be happy with that snowmobile and it is likely that if she aint' happy you ain't gonna be allowed to be happy. Compromise may be your best option..spend part of the holidays with her family and put on a happy face, then invite her to go snowmobiling with you before a romantic dinner at a lodge or hotel. Include the genitals of dead plants, a purported aphrodisiac, and a fine beverage to lower inhibitions in that romantic dinner and a LOT of groveling with prezzies.

poenkitten

(um that's Flowers, Chocolate and Fine Wine for those who don't geek out)

< Message edited by BlackPhx -- 12/10/2008 8:47:12 AM >

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

RE: We been arguing and fighting real bad lately - 12/10/2008 9:04:59 AM

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Whoa....I am so not in this camp! Being right, or having someone... hmm.. I think I would choose the third option. If I am not happy, being right or wrong is irrelevant. If it is not making me happy, then why would I be there?
If YHMA has reached that point, then the best thing to do is discuss why. If no resolution can be found, at least from my pov, I would pull the plug.
Being happy and content in onesself beats the hell out of being with someone just so you won't be alone.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
Which do you prefer - being right or being close to someone?

(in reply to stella41b)

RE: We been arguing and fighting real bad lately - 12/10/2008 9:08:33 AM

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Phoenix, I could be wrong, but I though Housesub's post was made with tongue firmly in cheek.

(if not, I'm sorry for laughing HS.)

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