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DavanKael -> RE: Am I a swich? or a big mouth? (12/19/2008 2:33:40 PM)
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Just scanning here but a coupleof thoughts:
1)As someone who identifies as a switch, I'm sorta mortified that you'd associate topping from the bottom with switches. Switches often seem to be 'the redheaded step-children' in terms of perceptions and conceptions and that one's particularly irksome. Topping from the bottom is an appalling behavior from someone who is behaving in service to another. It is, inherently, a dishonesty and an insult to servitude, in my opinion. So, no matter what s-type one identifies as, I believe topping from the bottom to be an abysmal display of self and a disrespect to the D-type.
2)You seem to have definitions of things that sound more like you're reading them from somewhere rather than having them as a part of self-identification. What are you? I think that is a question you have to answer. I mean, I can announce, "I'm a 6 foot tall, leggy blonde"all day long but if those descriptors are not accurate (And they aren't, though some have seemed to find my legs quite appealing, lol!) they just aren't. Look inside yourself, look at your desires.
3)This kinda leads from #2 but, I understand being hurt and wanting things to "go right" but if you don't know who and what you are, how can you hope to offer the best that you have in terms of service to a potential Dominant. Oh, and your fear of being hurt may be part of the topping from the bottom, though that's no excuse.
4)Genuine good wishes. :>
Davan
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