Limits - sort of, kind of like (Full Version)

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iwillserveu -> Limits - sort of, kind of like (3/6/2004 5:04:46 PM)

I've been thinking about limits. We all have them. I noticed a thread in mine.

I don't want anything done to me where a small screw up can lead to my death and/or disfigurement and/or brain damage.

Ask any insurance underwriter, accidents happen. I plan to live forever or die trying. (I also have very little brain left.[:)])

Anyone else find a thread going through their limits. (Beyond, "Things I am uncomfortable with"[:)])



roseofpromise -> RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like (3/25/2004 7:55:19 PM)

Respected posters,
I would keep far away from a Master/dom/Domme who refuses limits. As a female Sub..I look for warning signs and no limits is a big one.The are some serious dangers out there and some( speaking of men here) who are woman haters. There have been a couple of women murdered that I know of( My H.S. friend and a Master is a cop and told me about this.)Please be careful.
I say when there is real doubt....DON"T. If you were given a a funny feeling inside and have doubts..that's something I would listen to.Your gut instinct is usually right!



Estring -> RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like (3/25/2004 10:09:20 PM)

As far as preventing brain damage, I think it's too late for you iwill.[:D]



proudsub -> RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like (3/26/2004 1:58:53 PM)

quote:

As far as preventing brain damage, I think it's too late for you iwill.


TOO FUNNY!!!



seattleminx -> RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like (3/26/2004 2:36:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

I've been thinking about limits. We all have them. I noticed a thread in mine.

(snip)

Anyone else find a thread going through their limits. (Beyond, "Things I am uncomfortable with"[:)])


Most of my limits deal with objectifying me. I don't like masks, don't like being people's furniture, and hate being ignored (Although "being ignored" isn't a limit I give people, it's just a natural dislike). Anything that makes me feel like I am simply used can devastate me given the right circumstance.



iwillserveu -> RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like (3/27/2004 7:46:53 AM)

seattleminx,

How do you define "being ignored." I get the feeling that being tied up and left in a closet a she watches "Jeopardy!!" is not what you mean.[:)] (I could be wrong.)

Estring,

It is not how big the brain is (or how many cells are alive) it is what you do with it! [:D]



iwillserveu -> RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like (3/27/2004 7:50:09 AM)

Is walking into that one proof of brain damage?[:D] (Side note based on misspelling: Is brain domage what a dom can get from a sub?[:D])



seattleminx -> RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like (3/27/2004 9:55:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

seattleminx,

How do you define "being ignored." I get the feeling that being tied up and left in a closet a she watches "Jeopardy!!" is not what you mean.[:)] (I could be wrong.)


It's actually somewhat close, but I admit there's a fine line here. Putting me into a corner because one doesn't feel like domming on a given night, rather than as a punishment for something I've done, seems cruel on a certain level. It will make me feel like the domme is no longer interested in me as a sub.

I do realize that a domme can and should do what comes naturally, and if it's simpler to put me into a corner and ignore me for hours, then fine. I'm not asking anyone to interact with me on a 24/7 basis. But it does screw with my mind a fair amount. But probably because I have some abandonment issues [;)]


But like I said, it's not a limit I have, just a natural intense dislike.



topcat -> RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like (3/27/2004 10:27:42 AM)

midear Minx-

that's actually a great limit- not so much for what it is, but because you understand and articulate it, and it's roots.

I've run up agianst the opposite many times- someone can give a specific limit- no hoods, for example- and then fell the Dominant has failedto respect a limit when he uses her as a footstool. I have had relationships where I still couldn't explain what the limit _really_ was, and they couldn't either.

stay warm,
Lawrence



seattleminx -> RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like (3/28/2004 11:22:14 AM)

Thank you topcat... how nice of you to say!



Mistress Mary -> RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like (4/3/2004 12:34:01 PM)

I think everyone is entitled to hard limits..but as far as a sub's limits goes,,it's a hoot to push their limits as far as they will go..Think thats sort of a given [;)] in any D/s relationship



iwillserveu -> RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like (4/3/2004 4:02:21 PM)

quote:

I'm Going to HELL..Whose coming with Me?


I hear Norway (or is it Sweden) can be real cold in winter.[:)]



Mistress Mary -> RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like (4/3/2004 5:58:48 PM)

Colder then Hell?? LOL



LadyBeckett -> RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like (4/12/2004 10:10:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: seattleminx
Putting me into a corner because one doesn't feel like domming on a given night, rather than as a punishment for something I've done, seems cruel on a certain level.



I'm obviously new here in the message forums, and I've just kind of walked in with my non-traditional self and opinions. It is certainly not my intention to deliberately offend anyone, and that said, I'll go on with what I was going to say.

Not only is this cruel, but it is wrong on so many levels. For any relationship to succeed it requires balance, agreement, and communication. Clearly that isn't present in that situation. That would be one of my limits. Lack of communication.



MasterHyde -> RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like (4/30/2004 10:56:23 PM)

quote:

I would keep far away from a Master/dom/Domme who refuses limits. As a female Sub..I look for warning signs and no limits is a big one.The are some serious dangers out there and some( speaking of men here) who are woman haters.


If setting your own limits is important to someone, then they should absolutely follow rose's advice above. I'd like to pose another question, though, if I may. How do others perceive their limits? Are they hard and fast rules, or guidelines? More importantly, do you feel your limits are protecting you, or do you see them as challenges to overcome? I personally see most limits as falling into the latter category.

Rather than treating one's limits as sacred ground, I see them as simple expressions of humanity, which is, after all, imperfect. I find it more fulfilling and satisfactory to treat limits as obstacles. My goal is more often than not to overcome them. This is not ALWAYS the case, since some limits are just impossible to overcome. However, I don't like to focus on those. I prefer to find the ones that CAN be overcome, and create a responsible plan for doing so. It might take months or years to do so in some cases, but I find it encouraging for both me and my "object" to know that there is a plan in place for helping her achieve a level of submission that up until this point has been unattainable.



iwillserveu -> RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like (5/1/2004 2:40:53 AM)

The quick and easy answer is "it depends"

I see limits in the beginning as essential sacred ground. One who tresspasaed on the limits and ignored me screaming my safeword to "push" them is a person I may press charges against.

As we get to know eachother, perhaps they become more like limits to be overcome. Of course we are talking like marriage level trust here.



MasterHyde -> RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like (5/1/2004 11:33:02 PM)

quote:

The quick and easy answer is "it depends"
I see limits in the beginning as essential sacred ground. One who tresspasaed on the limits and ignored me screaming my safeword to "push" them is a person I may press charges against.
As we get to know eachother, perhaps they become more like limits to be overcome. Of course we are talking like marriage level trust here.

iwillserveu


Oh, absolutely. While I enjoying pushing limits and finding ways to overcome them, it's not something I do in the first few weeks of a relationship. It's very important to build trust, and to understand just how far is "too far" before you start testing someone's limits. I guess, for me, the relationships I seek are ones where that "marriage-like" trust exists. It doesn't happen overnight, though. It's something that has to grow over time, with a lot of care and nurturing along the way.



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